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OETERiORATION
\A/a so #t
MY MOTHER'S JOURNAL
a loung ILaOB's 2)(arB
OF FIVE YEARS SPENT IN MANILA, MACAO, AND THE
CAPE OF GOOD HOPE
From i 829-1 834
KDITID BY
KATHARINE HILLARD
** Her children arise up, and call her blessed **
BOSTON
George H. Ellis, 272 Congkcss Stkket
1909
y.
Copyright igcxs
BY
Katharine Hillard
GEORQE H. ELLIS, PRINTER, 272 CONGRESS ST., BOSTON.
CONTENTS.
PAGES
INTRODUCTION "'"^^
BOOK I.
Part I. THE VOYAGE OUT i-z°
Part II. MANILA "~^^
Part III. MACAO 26-48
BOOK II.
PART I. MACAO 49-74
P^RT 11: CANTON 7S-86
BOOK III.
. . . 87-111
MACAO '
BOOK IV.
„ . „ 112-136
MACAO ■^
BOOK V.
.... i'?7-i87
MACA.O . •*'
BOOK VI.
. . 188-225
MACAO ^
IV
BOOK VII.
PAGES
MACAO 226-335
BOOK VIII.
Part I. ON BOARD THE "WATERLOO" . . 236-248
Part II. CAPE TOWN 249-273
Part HI. HOMEWARD BOUND 274-295
Part IV. ENGLAND 296-306
THE VOYAGE HOME 307-317
POSTSCRIPT 318-320
INTRODUCTION.
The chief interest of this diary to those who had
no personal acquaintance with the writer lies, of course,
in the glimpses it gives of the conditions of life and
travel in the third decade of this century, when steam
navigation was in its infancy, and the luxuries that are
now a matter of course to those that go down to the sea
in ships were quite unknown. It is hard to realize that
it then took four or five months, at best, to reach China,
and that nearly a year must elapse before an answer
could be received to a letter sent from there. In those
days a ship of seventeen hundred tons was considered a
marine marvel, and its accommodations were spoken of
as "magnificent." There were no such things then as
canned meats, fruits, and vegetables, or condensed milk ;
and we can readily imagine that provisions for the table,
on so long a voyage, must have been somewhat monoto-
nous. And, as there was no possibility of having any-
thing washed on board ship, an enormous amount of
linen had to be carried, a lady was obliged to provide
herself with at least six dozen of every kind of under-
clothing, not to mention the variety of other garments
that were needed for a voyage that took the traveller
from the temperate to the torrid zone and back again to
the temperate.
Imagine, then, a lively young girl, just past her twentieth
VI
birthday (who had been brought up in the midst of a
family of twelve children, only one older than herself),
suddenly transported from the dull and extremely pro-
vincial town of Salem, Mass., to live in China under the
auspices of the East India Company, and in all the
luxury and formality of the English society of that time.
It must have been a bewildering change at first from the
quiet and rather Puritanical regime of home, where Sun-
day was kept with the utmost strictness, and Saturday
night was almost as rigidly observed, to the ceaseless
round of dinners, balls, and Sunday visiting in Macao,
from being one of the many superfluous females of Mas-
sachusetts to occupying the dazzling and somewhat haz-
ardous position of the only " spinster " where men were
so numerous and for much of the time so unoccupied.
But the society of an indifferent crowd soon palls upon
an affectionate nature ; and this girl of twenty, taken
away from the Companionship of her beloved elder sister
and all the duties and pleasures of home, found many
occasions to regret all she had left behind. There was
much, too, to shock her prejudices in the manners and
customs of society in Macao ; and it took her some time
to acquire that sweet tolerance and charity for which she
was in later life so noted. It is interesting to a student
of human nature to watch the development of her mind
and character amid the pleasures and the trials of her
residence in China; and it is to be regretted that so
many of the more intimate details of that life were re-
served for home letters (mostly lost) instead of being
recorded in this Journal, kept for the benefit of her elder
sister.
As there must necessarily be much repetition in a
journal covering so long a space of time, a great deal has
Vll
been cut out ; but, with the exception of a few slips of the
pen, nothing has been corrected or altered.
One book of the Journal is missing, that containing the
most exciting incident of Miss Low's life in China, the
trip to Canton when that port was closed to foreign
women ; but a few letters and fragments of letters have
been found that give some idea of that rather perilous
journey.
KATHARINE HILLARD.
December, 1899.
THE JOURNAL.
BOOK I. PART I.
ON BOARD THE "SUMATRA," MAY 24 TO SEPT. 9,
1829.
Sunday, May 24, 1829. — Embarked on board the
"Sumatra," bound to Manila, and thence to Macao,
where I shall probably take up my residence for the
next four years ; and for you, my dear sister, shall
this journal be kept. I left home at five o'clock (in
the morning) with feelings not to be described nor
imagined but by those who have been placed in a
similar situation. We were escorted out as far as
Baker's Island * by a few friends from Salem, which
made it rather pleasanter for me, though I cannot
say that I enjoyed anything that took place that day.
The morning was as delightful as it could be, with
a fresh breeze that soon wafted us beyond the sight
of our native land. About nine our party left us.
However, I behaved like the heroine I had resolved to
be ! At ten began to be sea-sick ; and, though I
suffered nothing in comparison to some people, it was
enough to make me feel a state of utter hopelessness,
and prostration of strength and spirits such as I never
•Just outside Salem Harbor.— .E<^.
before knew nor desire to feel again. I remained on
deck most of the day, but cared neither how nor
where I was going. This journal was commenced a
week after we sailed, — it seemed like a month.
May 27. — Becalmed to-day ; low in spirits, think a
sailor's life the worst of all others; tolerably well,
though I have not yet felt bright, and cannot relish
coffee or tea without milk. I lead a listless sort of
life, not having the energy to do or say anything.
. . . You must excuse me, my dear sister, if you
find many things in this book uninteresting; but I
give you free permission to omit reading any or the
whole of it. I write as much for my own amusement
as anything else. So few are the incidents at sea
that I am obliged to put in more about myself than I
otherwise should. A less partial eye than yours,
however, must never see it.
May 29. — After dinner to-day I was called on
deck to see a dolphin, which was playing round the
vessel, a beautiful-looking fish in the water. Every
day I take a lesson in the rigging of the ship. I
now know the head from the stern, and likewise that
it is a difficult matter for a ship to cut the water with
her taffrail, which is more than I once knew. That is
not the extent of my knowledge, but I shall keep the
rest to myself. I think I am rather an apt scholar !
Sunday, May 31. — Rose this morning with a de-
termination to spend the day as it should be. At
half -past nine we assembled in the cabin, and Mr. A.
read us a very good sermon : we then employed our-
selves as we thought best till dinner-time, and at
3
three Mr. A. read two more of Mr. Thatcher's ser-
mons. We then walked the decks; and I stood at
the stern, thinking of home and all associated with
that sweet place, till I wished that I was there, and
not condemned in foreign climes to rove. But for a
moment, however. I drive all such thoughts away,
and I have never repented of my resolution. Uncle
and Aunt L. are as kind as they can possibly be.
The weather has been much pleasanter than I had
any idea it would be, and the days begin to seem
shorter than they did. But you can have no idea
how tedious this first week was !
June 2. — Head wind for the last few days. You
cannot conceive what a wretched thing it is to have
a head wind ! It is worse than the toothache •, it
gives us all the blues. My motto is : —
" To be resigned when ills betide,
Patient when favors are denied,
And pleased with favors given. "
But how far I act up to it, it remains for you to
guess. O Molly, you would hardly recognize your
once industrious sister Harriet if you were to see her
now ! I shall lose all my good habits on board this
ship, but I as confidently hope I shall resume them
when I quit this floating habitation. There is some
excuse for me, which arises from my not feeling per-
fectly well ; all my energy seems to have left me.
June 3. — Head wind again. Mr. A. prophesied
something new for to-day, but nothing new have we
seen; the same round of faces, which are not very
fascinating in their appearance, I assure you. How-
ever, all are orderly in deportment, and there is no
swearing, fighting, or anything of the kind among
the crew ; the greatest harmony prevails throughout.
The captain first chop, the officers excellent, the
sailors all good, the cook good, and so sanctified in
his appearance that it seems as though he thought it
a sin to smile, and the steward active and attentive.
Uncle kind. Aunt L. ditto, Mr. A. agreeable, my-
self the same fascinating, engaging, enchanting,
sweet-tempered, obliging, passive creature that I
ever was. And, with all this, to still have a head
wind!
June 5. — Soon after dinner the captain called me,
saying there was a sail in sight. I immediately ran
to the deck ; and, though with some slight fear [of
pirates], I was delighted to see it. I ran down
again to the cabin, and wrote a letter, fervently in
hopes that she was bound towards our dear native
land ; but, when she came near enough, she hoisted a
detestable Spanish flag. We spoke her, but she was
bound for Spain. Such a miserable-looking set as
she had on board as I never saw. It was a great
disappointment, I wish so that you might hear from
us ; but I hope we shall see another soon. Played
whist this evening. It is almost impossible to read
in the evening, the light flares so. You are obliged
to have the wick long, or it will go out ; and, if you
get near enough to see, it smokes in your face, which
is not peculiarly pleasant. So there is precious little
comfort in reading in the evening at sea.
5
June lo. — Wind tolerably fair, a beautiful day.
Another sail to-day. I begin to see them with less
delight, as they do not do us any good. We have
agreed to-day to choose a committee to wait upon
Mr. A. and request him to deliver an oration upon
the 4th of July. Uncle W. is to write an ode for the
occasion, I am to read the Declaration of Indepen-
dence ; to conclude with a good dinner. After tea,
walked as usual, — a most splendid evening. All I
want is some of my nearest, dearest friends about
me !
June II. — Another beautiful day, fair wind,
though but little of it ; studding-sails all set, which
looks cheerful. We have an awning spread all over
the quarter-deck, and I generally take my book
and go up there as soon as breakfast is over, saunter
about a while, see all there is to be seen, hear the
news of the day, find out how she heads, take a look
at the fowls and the pigs, and then to my book. By
the bye, the pigs are a great amusement to us, they
quarrel so. Any little thing amuses us. Oh! I
would not be a sailor all my days for the wealth of
the Indies ! I would sooner live on potato skins and
eggshells, provided I had one friend in the world.
June 16. — Fine wind, feel as bright as a lark.
We live as comfortably on board ship as I could wish.
All that is wanting is one near friend who can partake
of all your feelings ; the heart will at times feel alone.
Though you may live comfortably, peaceably, and
happily, still there is a feeling of loneliness within, an
indescribable something that will not be satisfied.
6
You will perhaps say, " Silly creature, to put such an
idea in a journal ! " but this is not what can be called
a regular journal, I think, and I did not mean it
should be ; for, I am sure, to sit down and write you an
account of the weather and of what happens daily on
board would be drier than thig is, which is needless.
If that is what you wish, you can send to the captain
and get his log-book ; but, remember, this is written
for you and me, so that, when I feel like it, I can sit
down and open my heart.
June 1 8. — About five o'clock we saw a sail. They
tried to make me think it was a pirate, did not suc-
ceed, however. They felt a little suspicious them-
selves, I believe, as she hoisted both her topsails at
once, which is not very common except with a man-
of-war, they say now, though they did not tell me at
the time. She cut some queer pranks, but kept her
distance, and did us no injury. I do not wish to see
any more sails at present, as there is no chance of our
sending home by them.
June 2'j, Lat. 1.57. — Old Neptune will soon visit
us, we are almost on top of the world. A beautiful
day again, another week has passed rapidly away.
Time flies swifter at sea than on shore. You will
say it must go pleasantly, then. True, but I account
for it in this way ; the time is passed in so monotonous
a style that, when the week closes, we have no evi-
dence that it has been. It is marked by no events, and
I should not know the days of the week, were it not
for our dinners. Methinks I hear you say, " A very
novel way of noting time " ; but every Tuesday and
Friday we have bean soup, which I depend upon, and
anticipate from one day to the other. It tastes more
like what I eat at home than anything else we have ;
though everything is cooked in the best manner, yet
there is that relish wanting which you never get any-
where but at home.
June 28, Sunday. — A delightful morning. To-day
at one o'clock we crossed the line, just thirty-five
days since we left America. Being Sunday, Neptune
did not come aboard, we, however, treated the sail-
ors. I felt somewhat homesick this morning. This
afternoon I have been reading Mrs. Judson's Life.
It is astonishing how much she suffered and lived
through. How grateful I ought to be that I have
so far been preserved from the dangers by which
I am constantly surrounded ! I pray that I may be
grateful for the many blessings I enjoy, and that I
may daily learn to put my trust in that Being who is
continually watching over me. I hope that I shall
not always live a useless life, but by a good example
(if nothing more) I may do something for Him who
has done so much for me.
July 4. — I suppose to-day you are aroused by the
ringing of bells, the firing of cannon, etc., and per-
haps you will be hearing an elegant oration from
one of our most promising young men. I should
like to know who is spouting to-day ! I imagine you
still in Salem, while I, though in thought free as air,
am confined to one little spot, though constantly
changing my place of abode. What a tremendous
puddle this is !
8
July 12. — Rather a gloomy day. The sun sets
at five now, which makes the evenings rather long.
They accused me at dinner-time of having the blues.
I must confess my thoughts have often been across
the stormy deep to the peaceful land of America.
Can it be wondered at, my dear sister } I suppose
you are now going to meeting; it is nearly dark
with us.
July 15. — A bright sun and strong wind to-day,
going under single-reefed topsails for the first time.
Neptune is angry to-day, and has given us a great
lashing. Yesterday the water was calm and placid,
and looked like a sea of glass, to-day it is tossing
its white-capped waves in grandeur. The vessel looks
like a skeleton, so many sails are taken in. I spent
the day in reading. Impossible to work, the ship
danced so. Fine sport to-day at dinner-time. Wish
I were skilled in making caricatures.
July 20, Lat. 37.4 East, Long. i. — Fine breeze,
but quite cold. We are now so near the Cape. The
wind is on the quarter ; and the ship goes along so
smoothly that below I should hardly know we were
on the water, it is so still. I have been reading
Scott's Life of Napoleon ; finished it to-day. I have
somewhat moderated my rage in regard to Napoleon,
but still think him a man of the most inordinate
ambition, and selfish in the extreme, and that all he
did was for his own glory, not out of regard for
France or her good. I think he had many good
traits, — at least, his heart was not hard. I find in
hunting for his virtues I am pulling up vices ; but,
however, I will let my judgment rest. This is evi-
dent : that he was the cause of many a tear, and made
many widows and orphans. He was probably sent
into the world for some wise purpose ; but I cannot
get over his divorcing his amiable wife, Josephine.
July 25. — Becalmed this afternoon, the water looks
like a sea of glass. I have never seen it so smooth
before. It is cloudy and dreary enough. This evening
we could hardly tell the sky from the water. How-
ever, we have amused ourselves with one thing and
another, and on the whole have passed a very pleas-
ant day. Take us all in all, we are a very pleasant
set, when we have a mind to be. We have plenty of
good things to eat and drink, and plenty of books
and work. Of course, we all have our dull moments.
Have been reading and working part of the day, the
rest of the time skylarking.
July 26, Sunday. — Roused this morning about
seven by the cry of " Sail ho ! " An English ship.
About eleven she came alongside, and, to our joy, we
saw a little world : it was a large English ship filled
with passengers. We saw about a dozen ladies, and
a great number of gentlemen, babies, servants, etc.
It looked like a moving world, and you can imagine
the pleasure it gave us to see so many human beings
and so much life. We carried on a little conversa-
tion by means of trumpets, and the captain agreed to
stay by us an hour to give us the longitude, ours dif-
fering somewhat from his. He lowered his boat
soon after, and sent four of his youths on board the
" Sumatra," three passengers and a mate, the latter
lO
the only decent one among them : the other three
were dressed as fantastically as you can imagine.
They appeared to think we looked on them with ad-
miration, but, I assure you, they have been the subjects
of many a joke. They and we, however, were very
civil, and after taking a glass of wine, begging a pack
of cards, inviting us to dine, and offering us anything
they had on board, asking and answering questions,
they bid us good morning. I must describe their
looks a little, because we don't have such a chance
very often. The first, then, that jumped on board
was a long, lean-looking chap, supporting a huge pair
of mustachios and whiskers on a pale and sickly
phiz. He, for an Englishman, was very cordial ; but
we accounted for it by his being a Mason. He wore
a drab-colored pair of pantaloons, blue coat, etc. ; last,
but not least, was his cap, which was made of leather,
with a strap coming down and buckling under the lip,
which gave him a very singular appearance. We
have had many conjectures about that strap. He
endeavored to look interesting ; but Uncle W. thought
by the looks of his fingers he must be a tailor. The
second was fair to middling. His dress consisted of
light pantaloons, a blue frock coat embroidered from
top to toe with cord, — a military undress, — and, to
crown all, a scarlet cap. I cannot give you any idea of
that, it is beyond description ; but the color was bright
scarlet, and worn to one side, it looked singular
enough, I assure you. He was cultivating a pair of
mustachios, but as yet they were in their infancy.
He likewise endeavored to leave an agreeable impres-
II
sion. The third was dressed in common style, but
was a great buck. Indeed, they all were. We con-
cluded they were military characters going out to
join their regiment, as the vessel was bound to Ma-
dras and Calcutta. They were, however, very polite ;
and after mutual good wishes we separated, the
" Roxbury Castle " moving on before us, much to the
chagrin of Captain R., there is so much pride felt in
beating another vessel. ... By the bye, I have said
nothing about the ladies. There were some very in-
teresting-looking girls among them ; and I should
have liked to have gone on board their vessel. They
were dressed very handsomely and looked very gen-
teel. There were thirty-two passengers, beside ser-
vants and the crew. Judging by our own ship,
where there are only six or eight, they must have
confusion worse confounded at times, what with
babies squalling, and one thing rolling, and another
smashing. I tried to read this afternoon, but could
not compose my aching head nor settle my mind
enough to pay much attention. I know you will
make sufficient allowance. Recollect our peculiar sit-
uation, nine weeks since we have seen anything like
life before. I think I have given you as much as
you will want for this day. Make much of it. Such
an event does not happen every day off the Cape of
Good Hope.
July 28. — Cannot see the (English) ship to-day.
Fine wind, and we are going at the rate of seven or
eight knots an hour. Now we have passed the Cape,
we are looking forward to St. Paul's and Java Head.
12
This will be the most boisterous part of the voyage.
If you want a good idea of the confusion, the
troubles, the fun of a dinner when the vessel is roll-
ing, read Silliman's account of his voyage to Eng-
land. He describes it very well.
August I. — We have passed the "Roxbury Castle,"
and Capt. R. is now happy. Fine wind, and we are
going at the rate of ten knots at night.
August 3. — Wind right aft. After dinner I went
on deck, and the face of the ocean exhibited a new
scene altogether.
" I ne'er shall forget the wonder, the awe, the delight that stole
o'er me.
When its billowy boundlessness opened before me."
I never before have realized those "mountain
waves" we have frequently heard of. It is really a
grand sight, but it seems as if each wave must come
over us. However, I did not feel at all alarmed, as I
expected to ; but one thing makes me hop again.
That is, when she ships a sea or strikes one with her
bow. It seems, for a moment, as if we were striking
a rock, and must go down ; and then ' the water
splashes across the deck. To-day there was a whale
at a little distance, about 50 feet long ; and he jumped
out of water with his whole body 30 feet in the air,
as near as we could judge. What monstrous
strength they must have, to lift such a body so high !
It was really a grand sight.
August 4. — Seventy-two days since we have seen
land, but we have had delightful weather most of the
13
time. My dear sister, if you did but know it, it is a
very rare thing to go round the Cape of Good Hope
in the winter season and have such beautiful
weather. We certainly ought to be very grateful.
August 7. — Seems like April weather in Amer-
ica, sunny and rainy. I suppose you are now melt-
ing, while we are wearing cloaks and mandarins. I
went into the cook's office the other night. The fire
was too pleasant' to leave. It reminded me of our
fireside at home, not from any similarity in the con-
struction, but because of its warming effects. Ex-
cuse me for the comparison, but many a good thing
has come out of that galley, I assure you, though
you would not guess it if you were to see the cook.
He is certainly a most forbidding-looking creature.
August 10. — Passed the islands this morning be-
fore daybreak, much to our regret, without seeing
them. We had hoped to set our eyes on land, but
must now give it up till we get to Java Head. St.
Paul's and Amsterdam are not inhabited. St. Paul's
is famous for a boiling spring, where the thermometer
marks 240 degrees at times.
August II. — Fine wind, pleasant weather, making
our way swiftly towards Java Head. I cannot realize
that I am so far from home. For almost three
months now, we have been floating on from wave to
wave, without change of scene, only of weather, — my
prospects of happiness all lying in the future, which
is hidden. I have built many a lofty castle and
many. a mud hut, as suited the feeling of the time.
Hope arrays herself in bright colors at times, I assure
you, and not infrequently do I return to my dear
home and rest myself, contented and happy, sur-
rounded by those I love, but I fear many a day will
pass ere that. Adieu to gloomy visions. I do not
allow myself to borrow trouble ; but, if I could only
let you know how comfortable and happy we are, it
would be a great relief to me.
August i6, Sunday. — Another week gone, and
still the same scene. Shall I tell you what I have
done to-day.' There is nothing else I can say.
Well, I arose as usual, at half -past seven, ate a
good breakfast of warm bread (and you do not get
nicer at home), then, as usual, again walked the
deck for about an hour. Imagined you all seated in
the parlor, father just taking off his boots and pre-
paring to smoke his cigar; mother sitting near, per-
haps wondering where Harriet is (would that you
could know how comfortable !) or perhaps relating
some anecdote of that dear little Ellen's pranks;
you, my dear sister, enjoying the society of your
dearest friend, perhaps * (ha ! ha !) ; grandmother at-
tending upon her little idol, Charley; and the rest
in bed. So, you see, I imagine you all happily
united again in a comfortable house in Brooklyn.
[Whither the family were to remove from Salem
shortly after Miss L. 's departure. — Ed.'\
Saturday, August 22. — Here we are, still beating
about in the Indian Ocean, an immense waste of
water, every day calculating how many more before
we shall see land, which you cannot wonder at, con-
* The elder sister had been engaged for some time. — Ed.
15
sidering we have been thirteen weeks without that
precious sight. We think now by Thursday we
shall see Java Head. How refreshing the thought !
August 24. — Delightful day, fine wind as usual.
This afternoon about five heard the cheering sound
of ' ' Land ho ! " and I assure you I was on deck in
a short time. Christmas Island (within four de-
grees of Java Head) had just opened to our view.
It was thirty-six miles from us ; but we watched it
till we left it astern, about nine o'clock. If it had
been in the daytime, we should have passed within
six or eight miles of the island, and should have
had a fine view of it. As it was, I should have
thought it a black cloud, had I not known to the
contrary. We shall probably see Java Head to-
morrow night. Christmas Island is inhabited by
that very interesting animal, the wild hog. It
abounds, moreover, in cocoanut and lime trees.
The sight of land made me think of the land I saw
last, and gave me some unpleasant reflections.
Three months to-day since I left home, and one
year to-day since I went on the water for the first
time (you remember that famous water party?).
Little did I think then that I should be tempted to
cross the ocean !
August 25, 26. — Fine day again. The weather
is now getting very warm. At dusk it blew very
hard and it was quite dark, so the captain thought it
best not to run for land, but kept on and off. The
next morning I turned out at six o'clock, and could
see land distinctly in three directions, — Clapp's
i6
Island, Bowers' Island, and the great island of
Java. You may judge of our felicity, after having
but one scene for three months, to be suddenly sur-
rounded by islands covered with cocoanuts, pine-
apples, etc. I sat in the long-boat all day, hardly
taking time to eat, in consequence of which before
night my face was almost blistered. We entered
the Straits of Sunda in the forenoon with a de-
lightful breeze, and had a very fine opportunity to
view the land, as we went very near the shore. It
was mostly very high, and covered with an impene-
trable forest, which looked very green. There were
many rocky bluffs and points, and I discovered
many pleasant little spots; but I cannot say that I
saw any spot on the island of Java, or any other, in
which I should like to take up my abode. I could
not help thinking what a graveyard it has been, and
still is, for all foreigners. We were amused with
the Malay proas out fishing. They are very slightly
"built of bamboo, and I was astonished to see how
the natives managed them. They go out with the
land breeze in the morning, and return in the after-
noon. We anchored off Anjer about sunset after
a delightful day's sail, as we were in want of fowls
and fruit; but before we had anchored, and while
we were going along with a stiff breeze, a boat
came off, and for the first time I saw the Malays.
There were three of them in their little nutshell (for
it was not much better), and such a chattering you
never heard. They offered their fruit, which we
agreed to take, and lowered a large basket to them.
17
while they held on by a rope. In a few minutes
their little boat fill^, and they all went under
water. I thought, of course, they were gone, and
it was out of our power to save them ; but the men
said it was as impossible to drown them as it was
to drown a fish, and I was soon relieved by seeing
them astern. Two of them were swimming and
holding their frail vessel up, while the other one
bailed it out; but the poor fellows lost their dollar,
and we got the fruit, pineapples, bananas, mangoes,
sweet potatoes, etc. However, it was not our fault.
I suppose you will like to know what I thought of
a Malay, and how my modesty could stand such a
shock as seeing a man unclad; but I agree with
Bishop Heber in thinking their color serves as a
covering. They seem like a different race of
beings. The faces of those we saw were bright and
intelligent. They are very short, the men averag-
ing five feet two inches, and the women four feet
eleven inches. Their teeth, from the constant
chewing of betel, become very black, — a thing in
which they take great pride. A young man before
his teeth get well blacked would be mortified to be
seen by any one.
After we had anchored, the president at Anjer
sent a boat off with the news-bag, the first mail
since we have been out. We left Anjer about
lO P.M.
August 27. — About half-past four this morning
I was waked by the dismal announcement that we
must dress and go on deck as soon as possible, for
i8
we should drift on to the rocks in a few minutes.
I was on deck in a short time, I can assure you, and
saw the reef of rocks within half the ship's length
of us. It was a dead calm, not a breath of air stir-
ring, and the current so strong against us that the
ship was entirely unmanageable, while we were
drifting at the rate of two or three knots an hour.
Had it not been for the current from Stroom Rock,
we must inevitably have gone on to the reef; but to
our joy we were spared this disaster. Our boats
were all ready to be lowered, and we were still close
by Anjer. The captain says our lives would have
been in no danger, but I do not think it would have
been very pleasant. The greatest danger in the
Straits of Sunda and Gaspar lies in these strong
currents, the many shoals, and the calms that pre-
vail here. We have passed a number of uninhab-
ited islands to-day, and have also seen the coast of
Sumatra, about which I saw nothing interesting.
August 28. — Sailing sweetly through the Java
Seas, out of sight of land, with a hot sun, but a
good breeze.
August 29. — Little breeze this morning, but a
favorable current, which is carrying us direct to
Gaspar Straits. We saw the island of Banca this
morning at ten, and before night we were safely
through the dangerous Straits of Gaspar. At half-
past eight we passed Gaspar Island, — a very good
run, I assure you.
Sunday, 30^^ — ^Fourteen weeks this morning
since we left home, and we now find ourselves with
19
a pleasant breeze and everything comfortable in the
China Sea. Pretty warm weather, but that is quite
pleasant, we have had so much cold since our depart-
ure. Out of sight of land to-day.
September 6. — Pleasant day, with a charming
breeze. We are now thinking of getting ashore by
Tuesday. I cannot say that I think of it with much
pleasure, though I may be agreeably disappointed in
the place.
September 7, Monday. — 'We are now in Manila
Bay. Passed Goat Island about i a. m. , entered the
bay, and will probably anchor at sunset. Rained
all day till nearly dark. About half-past seven we
anchored, within hail of an American ship, which
proved to be the "Sabrina," sailed six days before
us.
September 8. — A pleasant morning, though it
looks as though it would rain before night. I was
up on deck early, and it was a pleasant prospect, I
assure you. The Cavite (where ships usually an-
chor in the south-west monsoons) on one side and
Manila on the other. The caseos look quite lively,
with the natives going about from one to another.
These caseos are dug out of trees, and have a cover-
ing of bamboo, under which the family live. In one
the wife was rowing. I should not have known her
to be a woman at first, as she had on nothing but
trousers. The men are merely covered about the
middle. I did not like their looks as much as the
Malays. Their faces are not so intelligent. Ma-
nila looks pleasant from the Bay. . It is a walled
20
city, and we can hear the beating of the drums from
the shore where the troops are stationed. After
being examined by the custom-house officers and
going through a variety of ceremonies, the gentle-
men left us, and went on shore to seek accommoda-
tions. We were rather lonely till the captain
returned about three. He brought the dreadful
news of the death of Mr. Forbes and Mr. Monson,
lost in a gale of wind in going from Macao to Can-
ton. Uncle could not come off, as he was obliged
to wait till late to get a permit for our baggage, and
then the sea was too heavy.
PART II.
MANILA, SEPT. 9 TO 22, 1 829.
September ^. — We awoke this morning early, and
found the rain was pouring down in torrents. I had
just made up my mind to spend a dull day, and to
amuse myself by writing letters, when Mr. Johnson
called out that Uncle was coming. We jumped with
delight to think we were so soon relieved. We
breakfasted, and about nine started for Manila in a
government boat. It rained hard, but there was a
covering to the boat, so that we did not get wet.
I really do not know what to say about Manila.
You cannot get any idea of it from description. I
am told it is like all Spanish towns, the forts, con-
vents, and churches taking up a large part of the
place. The roofs of the houses are covered with
tiles. They are mostly of one story only, and some
are very spacious. They have no glass windows;
but they are made of pearl-shell in little squares,
and some of them have Venetian blinds. The
houses are all whitewashed, but are soon turned
black by the climate, which gives the whole city the
appearance of having been smoked, as by a great
fire. An immense number of people live on the
water in boats. We arrived at Mr. Russell's about
ten o'clock. The boats go directly to the gate.
The house is fine and spacious. The rooms are all
22
on one floor, very high, and immensely large. We
found a number of American gentlemen there, and
after dinner I had a most delightful' ride with Mr.
R. on the Calzada, where we met all the nobility
of Manila. It is the fashion to ride there every
day about six. No ladies walk out. Our postilion
stopped very suddenly, and Mr. R. told me that it
was the hour of vespers, when every one is obliged
to stop and say a short prayer.
Saturday, September \2. — Had a charming ride
this afternoon with Mr. R. Rode in Spanish style,
without my bonnet. None of the ladies wear bon-
nets. Manila abounds in pleasant drives, and on
Sundays and feast-days they all ride back and forth
on the Calzada till dark; but there are many pleas-
anter drives than this, I think. This afternoon we
met a funeral. They bury their dead here without
cofifins, and carry them through the streets laid on a
square board covered with a purple cloth. At each
corner a torch is borne by four men, and then fol-
low the friends, though there is no order in the pro-
cession. The mourners wore a sort of purple hood
and scarf. The men carried children in their arms.
There were several babes a month or two old. The
burying-ground is quite picturesque in appearance,
and the higher classes are buried in the wall, which
is eight feet thick. They are put into small re-
cesses, which are then built up with bricks and
lime. By paying twenty-five dollars a Spaniard
can be buried in the wall, but no foreigner can have
a place in this ground. Everything we see here
23
makes us value more our own country and its priv-
ileges !
We also met two ladies on horseback. They have
curious saddles here, something like a chair. The
ladies were dressed in most singular style. They
had on red gowns, a white muslin kerchief on the
neck, and another thrown loosely over the head, with
a broad-brimmed beaver hat over it. They rode
very fast. We returned by the beach and the
Calzada, and saw a great many sights that would
have shocked a young lady in America ; but I have
now got quite hardened
Sunday, September 13. — With the Spaniards it
is Saturday; for in going round Cape Horn, when
this island was discovered, they gained a day.
There is not much appearance of the Sabbath here,
as everybody is at work, and the noise is as great as
usual. After dinner I had a most delightful ride on
the Calzada. On our return we came near meeting
the Host ; but, fortunately, Mr. S. was before us on
horseback, and turned back to stop our carriage, for,
if we had met it, we should have been obliged to
alight and kneel, which in the present state of the
roads would not have been very agreeable. We re-
turned, and took tea with ten gentlemen. I have
improved so much now that I sit down to table with-
out the least fear.
Monday, 14th. — The first thing I heard this
morning was the ringing of bells, and the military
crossing the bridge as they returned from mass.
About ten we rode out through the city to visit the
24
churches. The cathedral was not open. We went
first to San Domingo. It is a pretty church, but
rather gaudy. There were several women there
who had just been to confession. They go away
happy, thinking they are absolved from all sins,
and ready to begin a new list ! We then went home,
and dined with eleven Americans. After dinner
rode upon the Calzada and through the city, and
on our return had some music and two Indian
dancers, who danced the fandango, keeping time
with the castanets. They were very graceful in
their movements. After tea drove to the Palace
Square to hear the music of the three fine bands,
which play here every Sunday and holiday from
8 to 9 p. M.
Tuesday, i i,th. — Had a delightful ride to-day into
the country, which reminded me of home; but it
takes away half the pleasure of riding into the coun-
try to go through the suburbs, which are very ex-
tensive, and filled with babies and pigs, which are
brought up in the same style.
\()th. — A pleasant morning, but rain in the after-
noon prevented us from riding. Thunder and light-
ning in the evening, and the bells all tolling, as is
the custom here in such weather. No prospect of
our leaving Manila before next Tuesday. Uncle is
getting very impatient.
Tuesday, September 22. — Left Manila this morn-
ing, and I really felt as if I were leaving home
again. I have got so much attached here that I
felt really gloomy. Our friends left us about nine
25
o'clock, and I certainly have not felt so dull this
three months. No wind, and we were beating
about in the Bay all day, and at anchor all night.
I never left any place but my home with so much
regret, and shall always remember my visit to
Manila with great pleasure.
PART III.
MACAO, SEPT. 30 TO DEC. 2$', 1 829.
September 23." — Got under way this morning
about three o'clock, but, as it looked very- squally
after beating about all day, and as the men were all
tired out, the captain thought best to come to an
anchor in Mariveles Bay, a delightful little bay
surrounded on three sides by very high land, so that
we feel nothing of the hard weather outside, but
we are all low in spirits, and I certainly never felt
more gloomy. I thought I would give the world to
be on terra firma or somewhere with my friends.
2t)th. — Cloudy and rainy weather, but a good
breeze, which makes some smiling faces, though it
is discouraging to be three days getting out of this
bay. However, now we have passed the Corregidor,
we are in hopes we shall again have our luck. I
have felt really homesick these three days past.
How shall I support four years' absence .' It is just
four months to-day since we left.
26th. — Wind continues strong and fair, though
it is rainy and gloomy enough. We have all been
busy below, making preparations for landing again.
There is certainly nothing like employment for
making one happy. I have felt better to-day than I
have for a week. We calculate we shall be in
Macao in three days. I long, yet dread, to see
27
this place, I have heard so many different opinions
about it ; but I am determined to take no one's opin-
ion but my own.
Monday, September 28. — Sick all day. Squally,
rainy, uncomfortable weather, and a heavy, irregular
sea, which made us all sick. I was stretched on the
floor all day, or in my trough, until four o'clock,
when I heard the cry of "Land ! " and never was it
more welcome. To our great joy, we are now within
a few hours of our destined port, and glad shall I be
to tread again upon terra firma. We anchored off
the Lima Isles. It blew very hard all night, and
must have been very uncomfortable outside.
September 29. — A delightful morning. It seemed
like one of our May mornings at home. We set
sail at 6 a.m., and anchored off Macao Roads at 10.
Uncle and Mr. A. went on shore soon after, and
returned about dark. Mr. Russell has a house and
everjrthing necessary prepared for us.
Wednesday, September 30.— This morning all
busy enough getting our things out of the ship.
There was a heavy sea, which made it very difficult
for a boat to come alongside. Indeed, we were
obliged to lower everything over the stern; and you
would have been amused to see us tied into a chair
and swinging over the stern of the ship. But we got
along very comfortably, and saw many very amusing
things on our way to shore. There is an immense
quantity of boats all about, in which whole fami-
lies live, — indeed, two or three generations. The
women steer the boats, and frequently have an
28
infant slung to their backs, — the common mode of
carrying children among the poor, — and the poor
little thing only has a shaking if it cries. They
sometimes use their children very cruelly.
One idea of the Chinese amuses me exceedingly;
that is, that a vessel cannot go without eyes.
They therefore have a large eye painted on each
side of the bow, which looks very singular; and, if
you ask them why, they say, "Hi yah, how can see
without eye.' "
Macao from the sea looks beautiful,' with some
most romantic spots. We arrived there about ten
o'clock, took sedan chairs and went to our house,
which we liked the looks of very much. The streets
of Macao are narrow and irregular, but we have a
garden in which I anticipate much pleasure. In
fact, there are two, one above the other. All the
paths are of flat stones, and are as smooth as a floor.
You ascend five flights of steps and come to an
observatory, from which we have a fine view of the
bay and harbor, and can see all over the town.
Round the observatory there is a terrace, and there
are many pretty plants. With this little spot and a
few birds I shall get along very comfortably. I had
no idea there was so pretty a place here, but I want
some one to enjoy it with me.
Friday, October 2. — We had a number of calls
to-day, and the English Company's chaplain called
to see us. Through some mistake of the servant, we
did not see his card till he had left; and I was much
astonished, as there was nothing ministerial in his
29
appearance. Indeed, I thought him a great buck,
and treated him accordingly. I have had so many
charges in respect to these youngsters that I do not
know that I shall treat them as civilly as I ought.
October 7. — Finished my letters this morning, and
went out to make calls, as it is the etiquette of
the place to return calls very soon. We therefore
took chairs, and called first upon Mrs. F. at the
very end of the town, — a most splendid house and a
romantic situation. It seems a perfect paradise.
The house stands high. You ascend an immense
flight of stone steps, and enter a veranda with a
marble floor and filled with plants. You then enter
the drawing-room, which is furnished elegantly.
The rooms are large, and the house seems like a
palace. There is a beautiful view of the town and
the country around it from the windows. . . . We
have received invitations to a fancy ball at Captain
W. 's a week from Friday, and intend going, if noth-
ing happens to prevent.
October 8. — Mrs. T. came over this morning with
two large books of costumes for us to choose from
for the ball. I shall not tell you what they are
till we have worn them. Dr. College, the English,
consul, and a Mr. Millet, a droll chap, called ;
and what with purchasing dresses, receiving things
from Canton,* writing letters, and so forth, we were
kept upon the go.
Friday, gth. — No one called to-day, but I have
been very busy. I find quite enough to occupy my
time. I long to go to walk, but cannot until we
* Mr. L. went up to Canton on October ist.
30
have our chairs (which are being made in Canton)
or some one to wait upon us. However, I have
had a fine walk upon the terrace, which is a delight-
ful place. In the morning it is beautiful, and the
birds are flying through the house all day. We
frequently see five in the hall and dining-room at
once. There are trees round the house, in which
they lodge, and there are some fine singers among
them. I will credit you with considerable patience
if you ever get as far as this in this journal. How-
ever, I think I should seize with much eagerness
such a packet from you, and hope to one of these
days.
Sunday, October ii. — Not having our chairs, we
were obliged to stay at home to-day. I endeavored
to spend the day as it should be spent, but you have
no idea how difficult it is to keep alive one's re-
ligious feelings here or to pass Sunday in a proper
manner. I read aloud one of Buckminster's excel-
lent sermons, but had no sooner finished it, and
was feeling somewhat disposed to be serious, than
four or five people called. They make calls here
on their return from church. You see there is no
country like ours for religious principles. The
Chinese pay no sort of regard to the Sabbath, but go
on with their work just as usual. You hear their
gongs every little while, chin-chining joss. This
is a feast-day with the Catholics. Apew, our
comprador (steward), came in this afternoon to ask
if we wanted to see a walky. We could not divine
what he wanted, but we followed him up to a ter-
31
race that looks into the street. After waiting some
time, we at last saw a Catholic procession, and it
was worth waiting for, though I cannot tell you
what it meant or anything about it, except that the
men were dressed in loose white satin trousers, with
a sort of loose blue satin gown that came down to
their knees, and they carried lighted candles.
There were several little girls, rigged up with
wings to resemble angels, and a fine band of music.
The cannons all round the fort were fired, and the
bells were ringing. It seemed, as you may judge,
more like a festival than a Sabbath. [It was
the festival of "the maternity of the Virgin
Mother."— ^^.]
12^^, I'^tk. — Very busy preparing our dresses for
the ball. There are none but men tailors here, and
we are obliged to cut and fit our own dresses,
thinking the men would be more trouble than good
to us, as it is so difficult to make them understand.
When we speak to them, they always say, "Yes,
sir," and make dreadful work talking; but I find I
get along better than at first.
Friday, \6th. — The night of the ball. We went
at eight o'clock to call for Mrs. F., and thence to
the Whiteheads', where we enjoyed ourselves very
much, and did not return till 3 a.m., the first time
in my life that I was ever out so late. Everything
was elegant, and the costumes were of all countries
and ages. I shall give you all the particulars in a
letter, and therefore will not trouble myself here.
We had some fireworks in front of the house. One
32
gentleman took the character of Paul Pry, and was
very amusing.
Sunday, October i8. — We attended public wor-
ship at Dr. Morrison's house to-day. Were quite
delighted once more to hear something good, and to
pass our day more as we used to. There were only
six people there, but the sermon was very good.
They use the English Church form here altogether.
On our return we found several cards, as Sunday is
a famous day here for calling, but we intend to dis-
courage it by making none ourselves.
I forgot to tell you of the walk we had yesterday
afternoon. We went out with the coolie, and he
took us all round the Praya Grande, over a great
hill, and back through the town, — a monstrous
walk, and for the first one it was terrible. It is
so long since we have walked that it overcame us
all. The streets here are intolerable, — hilly, irreg-
ular, and horribly paved. We met no one but Por-
tuguese and Chinamen, who annoyed us very much
by their intent gaze. On our way, however, we saw
two of their women with small feet. I was per-
fectly astonished, although I had heard so much of
them ; but I never believed it, and always supposed
I must be deceived. These women's feet were
about the size of our little Charley's. [A boy of
three. — Ed.'l Only think of a full-grown and rather
fat person having such feet ! I thought she must be
in torture, but she walked apparently with the
greatest ease. Both women carried little canes.
The men here dress their hair most singularly.
33
having the front of the head shaved close to the
skin, while the hair is allowed to grow long on the
back of the head and is braided from the top, and
you almost always see them with a queue of hair
hanging to the bottom of their trousers. They take
great pride in the length of their hair.
The Chinese are a most singular people. They
appear to me a most united one, and will do any-
thing for their countrymen. While I cannot find
that they will ever accommodate a foreigner by beat-
ing down their own people, they will impose upon
foreigners greatly if not closely watched. Our
comprador is a very shrewd fellow, and speaks pretty-
good English. He wanted to know to-day if Mr.
C. was not thirty years older than I am. I asked
him how he knew how old I was. "Oh," he said,
"I can see: I can savy. " He made many other
inquiries which amused me very much.
My dear sister, it is now over a week since I
wrote last in my journal. I have had so much to
do with company and visiting that my journal has
been sadly neglected, but I will try and remember
something of what has happened. I cannot con-
ceive of people calling this a dull place. Tues-
day we were invited to Mrs. F. 's, to take tea and
walk in the garden. It is the most romantic place,
is very extensive, and abounds in serpentine walks.
There is a beautiful view of the sea, and immense
rocks and trees, and several temples in the garden.
In another part there is a cave in the rocks where
the celebrated Camoens wrote his "Lusiad. " A
34
bust of him stands in the cave. It is a wild and
delightful spot. What would I not give to have
you here to enjoy everything with me ! It is all I
want now. Every wish is gratified excepting that
one — which cannot be — to see my friends.
On Wednesday our good friend Dr. College
called. He is the best man I have seen yet.
Everybody loves him and speaks well of him. He
has been truly kind to us, and we are under great
obligations to him. It is a shame that he is a
bachelor !
After six I walked on the terrace all alone, till
all the posts looked like men, and it was so dark
that it was not pleasant. I was thinking of home,
sweet home, and was half inclined to wish myself
there. I frequently do, my dear sister, though I
may appear to you to enjoy myself, and I do ; but
there are times when one wants a comforter.
No letters for us by the Liverpool packet. What
do you mean ? How cruel ! She sailed ten days
after us, and not a word for any of us ! Hard, hard,
hard ! Well, I shall do as I would be done by, and
write as often as I can have that privilege ; for there
is nothing I enjoy so much as writing home. On
Thursday we went to Mrs. F. 's, and I enjoyed my-
self very much. You would be astonished if you
were to see your once diffident sis dancing the first
quadrille, not without much urging. However, you
must know that I am the only spinster in the place,
and I am pulled about, in every direction. [I have
often heard my mother say that ladies were so
35
scarce in Macao at the time, that they were obliged
to take a different partner for each figure of the
quadrilles. — £d.] We had considerable singing
and dancing, some fine glees, and a fine band of
music. It was really delightful. We had a supper,
which was rather tantalizing, as most of the com-
pany had dined there, and were not at all hungry;
and we, who dined at three o'clock, were obliged to
look at the niceties, the satisfied party being in the
majority. We returned about twelve, not much
delighted with our host, as he seemed inclined to
tell every one that his wife was the daughter of a
baronet, and was well-born and well-bred, which
made him quite ridiculous; but we excused him by
thinking that he had had a dinner party ! Friday
we had calls all the morning, and an invitation from
Mr. Plowdento some theatricals this evening, several
scenes from Shakespeare's "Merchant of Venice,"
etc. We went about half-past eight, under the
protection of Dr. Bradford. The performances were
fine. There was some good singing, and the young
gentlemen acquitted themselves in fine style. We
had a very good farce, called "Killing no Murder,"
and several other scenes from dijEferent plays. After
the performances we had a fine supper. Between
the scenes the gentlemen and ladies walked in the
veranda. I like their manner of fixing the supper
tables here. They have small tables holding about
ten, which makes it much more social. The party
broke up about two. I thought it impossible that
it was more than twelve.
36
Saturday, October 24. — After dinner felt rather
dull, and retired to our summer-house, which ap-
pears to be remote from society. I took my pencil,
and for a little amusement sketched a slight vievr
of the surrounding hills, which are very pretty.
Would that I were more expert in sketching from
nature. It is a delightful employment ! From the
front of the summer-house we have a fine view of
the fort on one high hill. On another hill near by
stands what is called the Gear, signifying Beacon.
It is very high, and is a convent, I believe. Below
we have a view of the town and the beach, the
Franciscan Church, and the green where the ladies
walk; and every Saturday evening a band plays
there, which is pleasant. I can hear them from the
summer-house. On the other side we have a little
view of the sea, but a new house lately built inter-
cepts our view very much. In the other direction
we have a fine view of the harbor and the surround-
ing hills, with an ancient church and convent. It
is really a delightful spot. I love it now, and if we
remove, as we some expect to, I shall regret it
much.
October 26. — This morning Captain Roundy
called, and undertook to bore my ears for ear-rings.
I, like a heroine, fainted away from fear, but the
operation, I think, is rather unpleasant. In the
afternoon Dr. B. called for us, and we went to Mr.
Beale's, where we were cordially received by the
old gentleman, and entertained beyond measure.
He has an aviary filled with a most choice collec-
37
tion of birds. The bird of paradise is by far the
most beautiful. You cannot imagine plumage more
perfect. You have seen stuffed ones, but you can
barely judge of the beauty of this bird, which is
much too handsome for the temper it possesses.
The next in beauty were the gold and silver pheas-
ants. Their plumage is rich, and they seemed con-
scious of their beauty. Another singular bird is
called the dagger-breasted pigeon. It has a slate-
colored back and a white breast, with a spot of red
directly in front, which resembles blood, and makes
it look as though it had just had a fresh wound. I
cannot describe to you the beauty of all these birds.
They were too numerous. After we had looked at
them enough, we walked in the garden, which is
literally filled with plants and trees of the rarest
kinds, and has a pond filled with a great variety
of gold-fishes. About six we were joined by several
friends, and went to the house and took tea made in
the Chinese style. Each one's tea is put into a
covered cup till sufficiently steeped, and is then
drunk without milk or sugar. That did not suit my
taste for sweets, I assure you. We left Mr. Beale's
about seven, after engaging to breakfast with him
on Wednesday.
Tuesday, October 27. — In the afternoon we all
went to the Campo, a beautiful place some way out
of town between two high hills, with the sea wash-
ing up on one side. I ascended one of the highest,
and on looking round saw my party at a great dis-
tance below. They had not followed my rash steps,
38
but I was not sorry to have gone. It was a perfect
spot, and I shall try it again. Coming down, I was
accosted by Dr. Pierson, who had very politely
come up to my assistance. He thought I was in
some danger of breaking my neck, but it wasn't the
first time I had climbed a hill. Callers came in
about eight, and stayed till twelve. I suppose you
will think that rather a late hour, but it is not in
this country.
November i. — I suppose you are now enjoying a
fire, but we still find it comfortable with windows
and doors all open, most delightful weather. I wish
all invalids could be transported here. This air
could not help restoring them. Sir Andrew L. and
Sir John C. and Mouqua, one of the Hong mer-
chants, called after service. Mouqua is a great
character. He had on his winter dress, which is
rather singular. The cap is blue in front, the crown
scarlet, with a blue glass button on the top. The
whole dress was blue, of different shades. I asked
why they did not let ladies go to Canton. He said,
"Too muchy man want to look." He said, too,
"Canton too small; no walky. " He was very
gallant, I assure you.
November 2. — A splendid morning, my dear sis,
and I hope you have as pleasant a one. The bells
are ringing. Mrs. C. is sitting by me, manufactur-
ing a bonnet, and the Chinamen are jabbering
below. I should admire to have you hear their
jargon. There are no words to be made out of it
to my ears. It seems to consist of low, guttural
39
sounds. They are a stupid set of people, and spend
most of their time in sleeping.
November 3. — The bells have been ringing and
guns firing all day, bfecause that villain of a Don
Miguel is chosen King of Portugal, and to-night all
the high places and churches are illuminated. The
fort and the convent on the hill look very brilliant.
Many of the Portuguese houses are lighted up, too.
O Molly, I haVe been thinking about home all day;
did not feel well this morning, and got low-spirited.
What would I not give to see you! Good-night, my
dear sis ; pleasant dreams and sweet repose to you.
Always remember me in your prayers, though far
away. I need them more than ever.
November t,. — Called for Mrs. T. at two o'clock,
and from her house to the race-ground, but without
thinking that I should enjoy myself. I cannot tell
you why, but my spirits seem to have lead attached
to them. The race-ground is at what is called the
Barrier, which prevents all foreigners from passing
over that spot. The course is about three-quarters
of a mile. It is a delightful place, and I was much
amused by the novel scene. There was a temporary
house of bamboo built for the ladies, and I assure
you, my dear sis, it was very interesting to look
upon the motley group below us. Chinese of all
descriptions, dressed in their most singular costume,
some with those large basket hats, many of them
with nothing on their heads, but carrying a fan
which they hold up to screen them from the sun.
Some of them had bags on their backs about half a
40
yard square, in which they put their babies. The
poor little things were knocked about in the crowd
as if they had been so many bits of wood. Portu-
guese and Lascars were mixed with the Chinese, and
to hear the mixture of languages — none of which I
understood — made me think of the confusion of
Babel, and led me to wish that those foolish people
had been content to live on the earth while they
were permitted. Some of the races were very good,
and some large bets were made. We returned about
seven, and had a long discussion upon the merits of
the English. We concluded that they had been
extremely polite to us, but that it is necessary to
treat them with some reserve, and that the men are
a good-for-nothing set of rascals. Do not tell any-
body, but all they care about is eating, drinking,
and frolicking. [Marginal note by the journalist :
"Quite a modest conclusion."]
November %. — Awoke this morning wofully dis-
appointed to find it only a dream that you, my dear
sis, and my brother Abbot were here with me. You
never were more plainly before my eyes ! Aunt L.
has just gone to church, but I thought I would not
go. When I look at Mr. V. and think that the last
time I saw him he was betting at a horse-race, or
dancing with me, I lose all reverence for him or
what he says. I resolved to stay at home and read
my own sermon, and I think I shall feel quite as
well satisfied as by going to church, and I sincerely
hope a little better.
November 9. — Went to Lady C. 's quadrille party.
41
Wore a white muslin trimmed with yellow satin
over white satin. Though the plainest dress in the
room, it was as handsome as I wished. The ladies
here dress a great deal, and we do not pretend to vie
with the English ladies in anything but good con-
duct. I danced every dance, and had several en-
gaged when I returned home about one o'clock.
[About this time the bright young spirit begins
to catch glimpses of the darker side of this gay
and seemingly innocent life, and snatches of the
gossip of the little colony begin to come to her ears.
After making a round of morning calls, she returns
to write in her journal.]
November 12. — Have heard some stories this
morning which will be a good lesson for us, and, I
hope, make us more on our guard than ever. You
have no idea how circumspect it is necessary to be
in this place! This gossip concerns me only as it
concerns the whole sex, but I intend to learn a les-
son by another's experience. It is about a lady who
has been staying in Macao for the last six months.
Thank fortune, she has now gone ! It really made
me quite melancholy, and I longed to be at my dear
home in the bosom of my family and those I love.
I must make myself as contented and happy as
possible, but it is a heartless way of living. There
are but few here we can put confidence in. . . . I
have no one to walk with, and it is not proper for
me to go alone. However, I mount upon the ter-
race and walk there, and enjoy my own pleasant
thoughts.
42
You may perhaps say, "She has got the blues."
Pray make allowances for moods, and imagine me
as happy as a lark. Ungrateful should I be if I
were not, for there is not a wish of my heart un-
gratified, if it is in Aunt's power to grant it, but,
alas! I am sure you would think I was happy and
easy if I were to stand before you and let you gaze
upon my round, fat visage. I assure you I look
more like "the frigate" than ever, and feel quite
anxious, as my appetite persists, and cold weather
(the most fattening thing) is approaching.
November 14. — We all met at Mrs. M. 's for our
water party. We went to the Isle de Verd, and
there landed while tiffin was prepared, and after our
refreshment, got under way. The scenery all around
us was delightful. The sun was behind us on our
return, just setting behind the hills, and shedding
its softened beams upon the city of Macao, adding
much to its beauty. As we approached, the busy
scene before us was quite new and amusing. A
vast number of the poor people live upon the water,
and appear quite cheerful and happy.
November 16. — Aunt L. went out, and left me to
keep house. While she was gone, four of the Macao
beauties called to see me. Now I suppose yoti
would like to know who they are. The first is Mr.
Howard, a shrewd, quick-witted, sensible young
man, and a handsome face withal; a fine singer,
and affords considerable amusement at parties, as
he possesses great imitative powers, and frequently
gives us representations of all the great English
43
actors. He wears under his chin a long black
beard, besides black mustachios and whiskers. It
seems like looking through a forest and discovering,
at a distance, two stars, to look at his eyes. Seri-
ously, though, it is an outrageously long beard, but
it is the English style. The others were Mr.
Clarke, Mr. Morris, and Mr. Alexander, all clever
youngsters. I did my prettiest, I assure you, with
so many beaux.
November i8. — At eight o'clock we went to the
Albany, where we were received with every mark
of attention. The entrance was decorated with
flowers and brilliantly lighted, and in the centre
hung a large oval piece of transparent silk or some-
thing of the kind, with the word "Welcome" in
large letters on it, and also decorated with flowers,
which had a very pretty effect. The drawing-room,
staircase, and supper-room were decorated in the
same way. We had some, fine fireworks in front of
the house besides the dancing, etc. Mr. Howard
gave us some amusing reminiscences. I danced
every time, and got into quite a hobble; for I en-
gaged for four deep about the middle of the evening,
and, when it came to the third, could not tell for the
life of me whom I had engaged to dance with. Two
gentlemen came, both claimed me for that dance,
and both were equally urgent. I, however, danced
with Mr. Card, hoping there would be time for No.
2; but poor Morris had to be deferred till the first
dance of the next ball, — when that will be, no one
knows. I do not tell this with the least vanity.
44
Molly. It would not be so if there were many
ladies here, but you know they are scarce. There
are twenty times as many gentlemen, only a little
sprinkling of ladies. I have no rivals, as there is
but one other spinster in the place. We left the
party highly gratified with our evening's amuse-
ment ; waited upon to my chair by Morris. Hope
I have not offended him, for he is a pretty little
fellow. It was about two when we got home. I
suppose father will think that his daughter is in a
fair way to be ruined; but tell him it would be con-
sidered very ill-natured in this place for the only
young lady here to stay away (from a ball), and I
must say it's the only amusement we have.
November 21, Saturday. — This evening we pro-
posed walking in Mrs. Fearon's garden and taking
tea with her. We walked up, and were overtaken
by the charming Mr. Howard and Mr. Clarke.
They left us at the gate, and we had a beautiful
walk in that paradise of a place. It is large, wild,
and romantic. It is a work of art, it is true, but it
resembles nature so perfectly that you would think
it originally formed in this way. The rocks and
trees are immense, and there are several banyan -
trees growing with their roots almost out of ground.
I wish I could give you any idea of it by description.
We then went to the house, where we were soon
joined by many other people. Cards were intro-
duced in the evening, which did not suit our Yankee
notions. [The New England custom was then to
begin the observance of Sunday at sunset on Satur-
45
day. — Ed.] We had a little supper, and returned
in our chairs about ten, not altogether pleased with
the evening ; and we have resolved to avoid Satur-
day evening visits in future, not knowing what will
take place among people who think but little of
Sundays.
November 23. — Aunt L. received a note from
Mr. Dent this morning, requesting to be allowed to
accompany us to the play to-night. It was one of
the drollest things you ever saw. I should like to
have you know him. He is a pleasant creature.
We had satin play-bills sent us this morning,
which I shall send to you, that you may see the
style in which everything is carried on in Macao.
I assure you everything corresponds. We went to
the play at seven, accompanied by Mr. Dent. You
would have been amused, I am sure. Several of
the scenes were painted by Mr. Chinnery, a famous
portrait painter. The play was performed very well.
Some parts were admirably done, but the most
amusing were the female characters. Mr. Chin-
nery was one, and they could not have chosen any-
body less fit to perform a female part ; but, however,
his ridiculous appearance made much sport. He
represented Miss Lucretia McTab,* and Mr. Alex-
ander was Miss Emily Worthington, a tall, lean-
looking man, with a gruff voice; but she was sup-
posed to be breaking the hearts of all the young
beaux, and you have no idea how ugly she was ! It
was so inconsistent that we could not but laugh.
After the play we had a farce called "Bombastes
*In "The Poor Gentleman," by Colman.— ^aT.
46
Furioso. " It was very amusing. After the farce,
a supper, which lasted till nearly two. We had
some fine singing, and enjoyed it very much.
December 2. — Letters from Canton, telling of a
great fire there, two hundred houses burned. The
Chinese will not put out a fire. They say it is
"Joss pigeon (God's business), and no can. " They
are a most remarkable people !
December 8. — I forgot to say that I went to Chin-
nery the portrait painter's room yesterday. He
had some fine likenesses there. He is remarkably
successful. How I wished that I had a little of the
needful to put into the man's hand, that he might
take my beautiful phiz, that I might transport it
across the great waters into your own hands, for
I flatter myself you would like it ! But there,
what's the use of wishing.?
December g. — Went to Mrs. D. 's party, and had
a very pleasant evening. Mrs. D. is a sweet
woman, and she has a husband as pleasant. He is
a great favorite of mine, and I think he likes me.
Now you will say, "H. exactly, vanity of vanities ! "
Well, what is more, I know he does.
Dec. 25, 1829. — This evening we are to dine with
the Company at half-past six, where we shall be
as stiff as stakes, and, I suppose, shall not enjoy our-
selves at all. These dinners are amazing stiff, but
I shall rig myself in a white satin under-dress, with
a wrought muslin petticoat, and a pink satin bodice
to set neatly to my neat little form, and made by
my own neat little hands. I shall then jump into
47
my neat little chair, and proceed to the scene of
action. I shall say all the neat little things I can,
and discuss the merits of the several dishes in my
own way.
Later. — At half -past six we jumped into our
chairs, and were the first to arrive, which did not
exactly suit our feelings. However, we were soon
followed by all the ladies and whole squads of
gentlemen. After conversing awhile, I was led to
an elegant table, and seated between the elegant
Mr. D. and Mr. V., the chaplain. Everything on
the table was splendid, — a whole service of massive
plate. There were about sixty at table. The din-
ner consisted of every delicacy, served in the most
elegant style and with the greatest order. Every
one brings their own servant to wait upon them at
table. When the first course is cleared away, these
extra servants all fall back to the wall, and the reg-
ular servants carry out the dishes, handed to them
by the butlers. I think you would have been much
entertained to look in at this immense table, with
the long row on each side of these horrible-looking
Chinese, and to see the different expressions on the
countenances of those whose business it was to eat
and those whose business it was to look on. I ate
a piece of plum-pudding that was very nice; but it
wanted something, — I suppose the home relish.
What tasted most like home were the cucumbers,
which really looked natural. It would be impos-
sible to describe the various dishes. Suffice it to say
that everything was as elegant as possible, and that
48
there was everything that could be obtained that was
nice and delicate. The time passed very pleasantly,
and there was nothing stiff about it. Everybody
appeared perfectly easy and at home. After dinner
the lights were extinguished, and the long table
was covered with blue lights.* We were all to put
our hands into these blue flames, and pull out the
raisins beneath. This is called snap-dragon, and is
a favorite Christmas amusement in England. I
thought I was in the infernal regions, and I never
shall forget the frightful visages of some of the
gentlemen as they held the plates up near their
faces. The effect is astonishing.
To-morrow morning I part with my journal. I
feel as though I were to part with a friend. Take
it, my dear sister, and correct the errors if you can.
It was begun to amuse at sea, and according to
promise has been kept up here, but in a hurried
style ; for I have hardly a moment for writing, or I
should have looked it over and endeavored to correct
the sentences better. I hope next year to receive
every day's account in a neat book like this, writ-
ten by my dear sister. Good-by, my darling, once
more.
* Dishes of burning brandy and salt— ^^.
BOOK II. PART I.
JAN. I TO SEPT. 2, I&3O.
January i. — Our good old ship "Sumatra" passed
Macao to-day with a smacking breeze. Received a
few lines from Captain R. per pilot. [Captain R.
was the bearer of the first book of the journal to its
destination. — Ed. ]
January 9. — Commenced Irving's "Columbus"
this morning; find it very interesting. This after-
noon Mr. V. called for us to walk. We went, not
being aware that the wind blew very hard, and fool-
ishly ascended a high hill, where, I am sure, it would
have been much more safe to scud than to go as we
did with royals and studding-sails set. Although
I kept crying, "Stand by topgallant halyards," it
was of no avail. We were beating against the wind,
and, when we were at the height of the hill, my dress
tangled round Mr. V. 's legs, and in trying to extri-
cate himself he caught his foot in the trimming,
which came very near throwing both of us over the
precipice into the sea, and great would have been
the fall thereof. But after much labor we weathered
the gale, and arrived safely under the lee of the hill.
Aunt L. and Mrs. C. were wise enough to turn
back; but Mr. V. and I are much alike in one re-
spect, — we both dislike turning back, and will per-
severe if possible.
so
[For many pages now the journal is a somewhat
monotonous record of walks and calls and evening
parties, with "Mr. V." turning up at all times and
in all capacities, from the preacher of "an excellent
sermon " to the partner in a waltz or a card party. —
Ed.}
January ig. — Mr. B. just returned from Canton.
Brought us the news of the steam frigate "Fulton's"
explosion. Made my heart jump at first to think
you have all got to go in a steamboat.* How I long
to hear of your safe arrival !
January 24. — The comprador (butler) chin-chin'd
us not to ring the bell to-morrow, being their New
Year's Day. The Chinese have an idea it will call
up Fanqui, or the devil. They fire crackers all day
for the purpose of keeping off the evil spirit for the
coming year.
January 25. — A great day with the Chinese.
They all have a new suit of clothes, and keep a sort
of holiday, going home to their families, to chin-
chin Joss, etc. They are all obliged to pay their
debts at this time. Most of the servants got a little
too much luncheon this morning. Our comprador
did not hesitate to say that he was "too muchy
drunk."
2'&th. — The whole town in commotion to-day to
celebrate the coronation of Don Miguel. For three
successive evenings the town is to be illuminated.
The whole place looked very brilliant. A temporary
fort was erected on the green, where the Portuguese
had a masquerade ball.
* From Salem or Boston to Brooklyn.-^ £</.
SI
February 3. — Dined at Mrs. T. 's with the secu-
rity merchants (Chinese), and never was more
amused than with the different observations they
made. They gave us a full account of their cus-
toms. Old Tinqua had the audacity to ask me how
old I was. He says he has five wives. No. i his
father and mother chose for him. "He no like No.
I. Too muchy ugly." No. 2 "he likey. He
choose her." He is sixty -two, but you would
never think him more than thirty-five. I thought
I was paying him a great compliment when I told
him so; but I hear that I could have said nothing
more displeasing, as they like to be considered
old.
February 6. — The East India Company have now
settled all their difficulties with the Chinese, and
the ships are ordered off to Whampoa, chop-chop (at
once). The captains, of course, are all off, too;
and there are many happy hearts and smiling faces,
for they have been very anxious to get away. Uncle
arrived from Canton very unexpectedly. We had
not seen him for three months.
\6th. — Mrs. Baynes has this morning left Macao
with all her children for Canton. She went in the
Company's cutter. We shall now be all on tiptoe
until we hear the result.
February 21. — We heard of Mrs. B. 's safe arrival
at Canton yesterday. (Uncle went there on the
19th.) The Hong merchants, it is said, have
called upon her; but they always call upon the chief
on his arrival. They say, "In one or two days more
52
can see if that lady come up." It is uncertain
whether there is any law against it. Walked with
Mrs. A., who says an American ship has come in
with six passengers. We could not credit it, but
upon our return we were told by the servants that
six American gentlemen had been here, and had
gone to Mrs. Morrison's. We were then kept in
suspense a little longer, but after waiting patiently
about an hour, there came a note from Mrs. M. , say-
ing she hoped to have the pleasure of introducing
a batch of friends from our dear country to us in the
morning, but still no news from the ship. Who
she was, or what time she sailed, was still a mys-
tery. I was anxious enough. [It must be remem-
bered that it was nine months since the L. 's had
left home or had heard from there. — Ed.]
I begged Aunt L. to despatch a note, begging
for particulars ; but Apew (the comprador) came in
with the desired information. The ship was the
"Roman," one hundred and twenty-five days from
New York, which was music in my ears. The pas-
sengers would call on us in the morning. I fancied
myself then reading heaps of letters. I went to bed
to dream of the pleasure that awaited me.
February 23. — This morning every minute was an
hour till the gentlemen came. . . . They could tell us.
nothing of our friends; but one of them said he was
in Salem a few days before leaving, that it was still
standing, and things appeared to be going on as-
usual. They assured us there were letters on board
for us, and that we should receive them in a day or •
S3
two. The ship had gone to Lintin, and you may
judge of my anxiety.
24th. — A rainy day, and no letters yet. I copied
the town signals this morning that I may know what
a ship is when she comes in, as they are all made
known by the telegraph.*
2 5 /A. — I arose this morning low-spirited and
anxious for my letters. I sat down to read, but
with every step I heard my head was out of the
window to see if it were the desired messenger. I
sat in my own room till it was time to dress and go
into the drawing-room. Aunt L. handed me a few
lines just received from Captain Lavender, in which
he said, "I send you a box containing papers and all
the letters which were sent." Judge of my distress
when she told me no box had come. How I wished
myself a man, that I might run to the boat and over-
haul it ! But in a few minutes in came the desired
box. Now do you not think that patience has had
her perfect work ? Nine long months without re-
ceiving a line, and then to have such detentions !
But to proceed. The first thing I saw was my
father's handwriting, and then I knew he was alive.
I literally grabbed at the others, and hardly waited
to see whom they were from. One after another
was torn open. I wanted to read them all at once,
and was vexed that I could not read faster. The
ink of one was so pale it was impossible to read
that first. Another had so much in it that I must
leave that till the last. My dear father's and
mother's letters were then carefully perused, and all
* Semaphore? — Ed.
54
the others in due time. Yours, my dear sister,
were read last, but not with the least interest.
They were a great treat to me, and carried me di-
rectly home. We are now anticipating earlier
dates, as you mention sending by several ships
before, and you may judge how happy I felt to know
how well and happy you all seemed. I had been
very anxious to hear of your safe arrival in New
York, and how you had all got through the hot
weather. How many thousand blessings have we all
to be thankful for, particularly this last year ! We
cannot be grateful enough. Spent the evening in
reading the newspapers and gleaning little bits of
news.
February 28. — Sunday morning, but little like
Sunday. No church. Read a chapter in my Bible,
and so forth, and sat down in my own room to bring
up my journal, which was nearly a week behind
hand. After writing a few minutes, hear there is a
youngster here who wishes to see us. I must go
and hear what he has to say. Not dressed, but
must make haste. It is now ten o'clock. Hope he
will not stay long. . . . Here I am again. Have
been detained two hours by that little monk. I do
not know what his name is ; but he has given us the
whole history of his life and adventures, also a
long history of the Indians of the north-west coast
of America and the Sandwich Islands, — all of which
would have interested me at any other time, but I
was in a hurry to go to my room to write, read, etc.
He tells us the ship "Tartar" has arrived, the
55
only gratifying fact he did give us ; but I made
excuses for him. He is just entering manhood, is
a little consequential, and thinks he is a beauty, I
suppose. Well, he is a little, black-eyed fellow,
the clerk of the brig "Active," now for Lintin.
Seven o^ clock, Sunday Eve. — I have just returned
from seeing a procession of this wretched set of
people, the Catholics. If I could discover any
signs of devotion in their hearts, I could tolerate
them ; but to see such mockery is beyond everything.
In the first place came six or seven men with
muffled drums, and black silk drawn over their faces.
They were all dressed in black robes. I do not
know what they represented. Then followed others,
bearing a banner with the cross and other banners
with Latin inscriptions. One of the men in front
was blowing a trumpet. Then followed about
twenty little girls dressed as angels, with wings,
hooped petticoats, and all sorts of finery. The
little things were carrying banners in their hands.
Then followed men chanting, dressed in black and
white, without hats. Then came a car borne by
four men, with the image of our Saviour bearing the
cross. It rested on his shoulder. Then followed
more padres, chanting. Then the military, with a
band of music, then citizens, in their ordinary dress.
The bells were ringing. There was no order, nor
did the people, either high or low, appear to feel
anything. They bore long lighted candles in their
hands ; but these they used as weapons of defence,
thrusting them into the children's faces as they
56
passed. Some of them were throwing stones and
cutting all sorts of capers. An unruly mob mixed
in with the procession, which destroyed all appear-
ance of solemnity. It is now Lent, and they have
many of these processions. When I see these
things, I thank my God that I was born where they
worship Him in a more Christian way, or, at least,
in a place where every person knows what they wor-
ship, and where I hope that worship is more heart-
felt than I think it here; but I will not judge!
[Pretty well, after what our bigoted little Puritan
has just written ! — Ed. ] I suppose you see more of
these things now than when in Salem. Apew came
to tell me that "the Portuguese Joss would make a
walky ' ' to-day.
March 2. — Have received another package to-day
from my kind and faithful sister, giving me an ac-
count of the great emigration, also the robbery.
Fancy a pack of thieves overhauling your love-
letters ! I should be afraid of seeing them in the
next paper. It was rather a rude welcome to the
city, but it will teach you to be on your guard.
6th. — Another cloudy, foggy, unpleasant morn-
ing. Have been reading Hall's "Travels in the
United States. " I do not think he does the Ameri-
cans justice, nor do I believe any Englishman ever
will. I feel quite enraged with him at times, and
would fain throw his book by, but I am constantly
hoping to find something to redeem it. He seems
to think himself a mighty body, and I am sure he
may justly be called an egotist. In some places he
57
makes the Americans appear quite ridiculous. I
hope I shall have patience to finish the book, but it
requires a great deal.
March ^. — At one we met Mr. Otaduy at Mrs.
A. 's, and took our first lesson in Spanish. Think
we shall like it very much. It will serve to amuse
and take up some of the time, which is rather dull,
now we are so much alone. Ah, my dear sister, if
I could now spend one hour with you all around the
six-foot table, what would I not give !
\oth. — We went to the new house this morning.
It begins to look nice. It is very near the Cathe-
dral, and the street was all in a bustle. They are
mourning, or rather ringing the bells, because the
Pope* is dead, which we heard a long while ago.
wth. — We have passed a delightful evening with
Mrs. A., and on our return, to our great astonish-
ment, found Uncle in the parlor; but the poor man
had just arrived, and was quite sea-sick, so he has
gone to bed. It quite startled me at first to see
him. I thought he had heard some bad news, and
had come down to tell us. I was so much startled
that I did not appear glad to see him, but I am sure
I am perfectly delighted. Good-night, my dearest
sister, mother, father, and all hands.
March 15. — At one we went to Mrs. A. 's to take
another Spanish lesson. Mr. O. thinks we get
along very well, which is quite encouraging.
Passed the pleasantest day we have had in a long
while. After tea, sat down to my verbs, but Mr.
Beale sent us "Devereux," and I took my work
* Pius VIII. died Nov. 30, \%%o.—Ed.
58
while Uncle read. (I came pretty near killing a
moschetto then, — knocked off his hind leg, I guess.)
I have been reading a little of Hall's "Travels"
since I came to my room, and find it rather tedious.
I cannot think he does our dear country and good
people justice. I think he is vexed that we are as
well off as we are.
March 2%. — Did you ever read Montgomery's
"On the Deity " .' If not, do read it. It is a most
beautiful thing, and seems to lift you from the earth
and makes you wish to soar above and be with Him
"who was and is the Fountain Soul " : —
" Hill, flood, and forest, mountain, rock, and sea,
All take their terrors and their charms from Thee, —
From Thee, whose hidden but supreme control
Moves through the world, a Universal Soul."
I must make one more quotation, though you may
think me quite too poetical : —
" 'Tis sweet, when roaming by the wave-girt strand,
To weave fond visions of our own far land ;
Or dream, while faintly chimes the convent bell.
On distant friends, and each domestic spell,
And feel one spirit mark our lone career,
And dwell in every heart to friendship dear." *
You know the blessings of this friendship, my
sister; and I can fancy it. It is wanted in this
place. Some friend who has a kind, congenial
heart. Do not let George see this, or he would
laugh at me, I know.
* " I thiak my ladyship was in quite a poetical mood at this time." — Marginal
bote, September, 1830.
59
After dinner, we strolled upon the hills and made
a couch of the rocks. The sudden warmth of the
weather takes away the strength, and makes us feel
quite languid. We sat on the rocks musing till the
sun had set behind the hills, after tinging the
clouds with the richest colors and leaving the moon
with a small share of her brilliancy to light us over
the graves. You must know that, when we take our
walks, we must always go through and over these
graves, but they never give that feeling that we
should have at home in walking through a grave-
yard. I have often wondered why not, but I sup-
pose because none of our friends, relations, or ac-
quaintances, repose here.
2()th. — After dinner went to our new house, and
walked upon the terrace there till it was time to
dress for Mrs. Turner's, whence we have just re-
turned, having spent a delightful evening. We played
our American game of "old maid," which seems
to take mightily. Poor Blight had the queen three
times, which quite worried him. He thinks it very
ominous. We are to remove to-morrow. So I must
be up betimes and pack up my duds, for nothing is
done yet. So good-night, my dearest sister.
March 30. — I rose quite early, put my things all
in order, and before two o'clock all the "topside,"
as the Chinamen say, was removed. And how do
you think they manage it.' You know we have no
carriages of any sort, but everything is carried on
men's shoulders, not as a man in America would
shoulder an axe, but suspended from poles. It is
6o
astonishing to see what burdens they carry with
apparent ease, — great heavy things, such as trunks,
sideboards, etc. You never see a Chinaman carry
anything in his hands, but always in baskets, jars,
etc.
(From a letter.) — This house is much better fin-
ished and more elegant than the other, and much
cooler, which is a great object in summer. There
are six large rooms, quite sufficient for our small
family. It stands near the Cathedral, from which
we see all the processions, etc., start. The back of
the house opens on to a large terrace, which gives
us a fine view of the roads, and all the ships coming
in and out, the hills all round, and the Praya.
Downstairs there is a fine entrance hall, whence a
flight of dark varnished stairs and a small entry lead
up to the drawing-room, — a room that you would be
proud of in America. It has a fine domed ceiling,
ornamented with stucco-work, a handsome marble
fireplace, and three French windows, opening on to
the veranda, and thence to the terrace. The dining-
room faces the street. Two doors open from the
drawing-room into my room, also a fine large room
with a domed ceiling. Next to mine comes Aunt
L. 's room, very spacious, and built in the same way,
and a very handsome little sitting-room beyond that.
Plenty of "go-downs" (store-rooms), large bath-
rooms, etc.
April I. — Went to walk with Uncle, and met
three Parsees, or fire-worshippers, on the way.
They were dressed in white robes with a sort of red
6i
turban upon their heads. At one of the Chinese
graves there were four men and children chin-chin-
ning. Every year they visit the graves of their
fathers and grandfathers, and returf them, building
a fire on the graves, in which they burn Joss paper.
They would bow, clasping their hands upon their
breasts, then kneel and touch the grave with their
faces, all jabbering in their horrid jargon. Re-
turned home, arranged the plants, and sat upon the
terrace till tea-time. A most perfect evening; the
moon was shining as bright as day. This elegant
bay stretched before us, with the little boats flying
about it, — a most beautiful sight.
April 2. — lo p. M. finds me in my spacious room,
writing to my dear sister, and what shall I say to
her for to-day.' Shall I tell her I was cross this
morning } Whether I do or not, I am very sure I
was. You know it is an uncommon thing for me to
be cross. Do not ask me the cause, for I am sure I
cannot tell you; but I felt better before two o'clock.
I heard Mr. Wilkinson's voice in the drawing-
room, and, "thinks I to myself," I'll go and hear
what he has to say, and see if I shall not feel better;
and before he left my usual good temper was
restored.
After dinner looked out of the window, and saw
one of the Company's ships with the sun shining on
her well-filled sails. How I wished for Mr. Chin-
nery's talent for painting, that I might sketch for
you the beautiful scene before me, the large and
handsome church, milk-white, with a splendid flight
62
of stone steps, and surrounded by trees and shrub-
bery. Just beyond, the fort, stretching into the bay.
Beyond this again, you can see the roads, and the
little boats skimming over the surface. In the dis-
tance two islands of high ground can be discerned,
and the beautiful ship heading toward her much-
desired home. A little farther in, is a little Euro-
pean boat flying along under full sail, and any quan-
tity of Chinese boats are in sight. Now can you
not imagine that we have a pleasant view from our
terrace.' And now here I sit fighting mosquitoes
in my own room. Every half-second my pen is put
into my mouth while I attempt murder. The
coolies are "sleeping audibly" enough under my
room. I never knew people snore so loud as they
do. Aunt L. has frequently sent down of an even-
ing to have them turned over !
April 5. — Did not walk to-day, as we were to
have company in the evening. There were fourteen
with ourselves, and a very pleasant party. We
commenced playing "old maid " after tea, and then
played Aunt C. 's game, which made much sport.
Some one gave as a question, "When will Mr.
Blight give the ladies a tea-party?" which was
thought a grand move; and we all decided, after
much sport, to give him the pleasure of our com-
pany on Friday evening. Old Chinnery, who is a
monstrous epicure, wished to know if there would
be a supper or what they would have to eat. The
reply was, "Toast and tea, certainly, and butter, if it
is to be had. " The bachelors, you know, all keep
63
house here, have everything in style, and plenty of
servants, and it is but right that they should do
something to amuse the ladies. Don't you agree
with me? I wish you could join us in these de-
lightful little parties. You have no idea how pleas-
ant they are. The tea-parties at home are so much
trouble that you cannot enjoy them, but here every-
thing is easy. If anything is wrong, it is all laid to
the servants. The hostess is not blamed, as with
us. Every one calls for what they wish, and the
servants make the tea and bring it in.
Good Friday, April g. — This morning at nine,
after much ceremony in the church, a procession was
formed, with the cross coming first, the padres and
friars following. Then came a coffin covered with
black, and an image to represent the body of our
Saviour just taken from the cross. Behind that, his
mother and two other women. There were many
banners and a long procession, a fine band of music,
and I certainly never heard anything more solemn.
They played softly and slowly, the drums muffled
with black, the priests chanting at the same time.
The streets were thronged with people, and all hats
were off. I cannot bring my mind to think it right
to perform this ceremony. It seems horrid to me to
see an image made to represent so divine a person.
The church was hung with black, and at one end
was a representation of Calvary. The Virgin Mary
was also in black.
Sunday, April ii. — Was awaked from my sleep
this morning by a band playing in the most spirited
64
style. The music was fine. Another procession
went from the church, and one man walking in it
represented Christ risen from the dead. I could not
help thinking how can any man that represents the
Saviour ever sin more? Only think, what could
have been his feelings when walking through the
streets representing that divine person ! It makes
me shudder.
Last night we had a most refreshing shower.
The drought had become quite serious. The Chi-
nese have fasted and prayed for rain, and have hired
the Portuguese to pray for them.
April 17. — This morning dressed ourselves for
the purpose of sallying forth to call on the ladies
just returned from Canton. First called upon Mrs.
Fearon, who looks finely. Says Canton is a better
place than she had fancied, but, notwithstanding,
she is very glad to breathe the fresh air of Macao
again, which, they all say, is much purer than that
of Canton. They say the Chinese were very civil;
that they gathered in crowds round the house when
they expected them out, but filed off on both sides
at their approach, and made no noise. Nothing but
a little buzz of admiration was heard. Mrs. Baynes
says that when she first arrived the people had boats
stationed upon the water, and paid three cash to see
the Fanqui women, but none made the least disturb-
ance. I think the Chinese are much more civil
than either American or English people would have
been if a Chinawoman with little feet had appeared
in our streets, dressed in the costume of her country.
6s
V
Why, she would be mobbed and hooted at imme-
diately !
April 26. — Well, my dear sister, to-night I have
an event to communicate. This morning I was sit-
ting in my room when Mr. Russell called me to the
terrace; and what do you think was to be seen.?
Why nothing more or less than a Steam Ship \sic\
flying through the waters, and displaying herself to
the admiration of all, particularly those who know
nothing about such things. It reminded me of
home, although I had never seen many of them.
You must know that it's a very odd thing in this
part of the great world.
This steamboat, the "Forbes," sailed with the
"Jamsina" for the purpose of towing her from Cal-
cutta to China, she being loaded with that precious
drug, opium. This vessel brings much news,
among the rest the failure of an immense house in
Calcutta, Palmer & Co., for over thirteen million
dollars. Only think what a sum, ruining, I sup-
pose, thousands. Last night I read till I dropped
asleep the "Notions of America by a Travelling
Bachelor," which are, I think, very correct; and, if
he were an Englishman, as he professes to be (which
I very much doubt), he is the best Englishman that
ever lived, or else he has fallen in love with some
of the pretty girls there, that he often speaks of,
and wishes to curry favor with the blooming patriots.
He is, I should think, the first one of his country-
men who ever did the Americans justice in a work
of the kind ; and so strongly do I feel that it would
be impossible for one of them to overcome preju-
dice and national feeling that I cannot believe him
an Engli'shman. (Afterwards heard that it was writ-
ten by Paulding, of New York.)
zgtk. — Went to Chinnery's this morning, and
finished some very pretty sketches copied from his.
Uncle and Mr. Russell got their chop (orders) from
Canton, and are to leave us to-morrow; and dull
enough we shall be for a while. Oh, I cannot bear
these constant partings ! But there, fate decrees !
May 12. — Have just returned, at ten o'clock,
from a dinner at the East India Company's. Have
had a very pleasant time. Do you recollect what a
dreadful thing I used to think it to sit down to table
with half a dozen gentlemen ? Times have altered
since that, and I do not mind thirty or forty, or as
many more as you choose ! I thought before I went
that I should find it uncomfortably warm, but the
luxurious punkah was going, and kept us just cool
enough. The critical moment is just when the
ladies are about to go to dinner. The great point
is to get between two pleasant people, but we, poor
dependent creatures, have to put up with those who
will put up with us. But I will not complain. I am
generally very fortunate.
\2>tk. — My twenty-first birthday. It happens to
be St. Antonio's, too, and the church on the hill
has been illuminated.
May ^o. — You see I have lost some time here,
but I have been on the couch all the week, having
been threatened with a severe attack of fever. But,
67
thanks to good and seasonable advice, I am now
pretty much myself again. This little touch of
sickness makes me feel what a blessing health is,
and I feel much more grateful to Him who has
bestowed upon me so long such perfect health, for
with good health one has good spirits, and every-
thing is pleasing.
June 22. — After breakfast received some things
from Canton, among them a splendid comb, brought
by friend Dunn, who has not seen a lady for eight
years ! He has come down to do his countrywomen
the honor of being the first ladies he has called on
in China. I was made happy to-day by hearing you
were all well on the i6th of January. A letter was
sent me to-day, and happened to come while there
was a gentleman here. Politeness forbade my open-
ing it, and I was obliged to keep it in my hands till
he was gone; and the plague made a monstrous long
call, too. I thought he never would go ! The let-
ter was from our dear friend Miss Gray, and told
me that you had heard of us in November, which
pleased me much. I feared you might have been
kept anxious much longer, and to hear that you were
all well was a great comfort. But the mystery is
not yet unfolded how she alone could have heard of
this opportunity. This single letter found its way
to me by the ship "Timon" to Anjer, forwarded to
Singapore, and, I suppose, put into the Company's
packet, for it was sent by the Company's steward.
June 26. — A little schooner arrived here a few
days since from Manila, called the "Fourth of July. "
68
She is an American from Baltimore, was iormer\y
a pilot boat. She went round Cape Horn, touched
at Valparaiso, from thence to Manila, and is nowhere:
for a cargo of silks. She carries twenty-five tons.
I think one must have some courage to go in her.
She is not so large as the Company's cutter.
2ytA. — Sunday morning, hot, and no air. Just
ten minutes past ten. Mr. V. has just sent his
watch here for Aunt to set hers by. We were late at.
church several times, and he said he should preach,
at us if we did not come earlier. So every Sunday
now he very kindly sends us the right time. I
should like to have you know him. He is one of
the oddest mortals that ever inhabited this globe, I
believe.
June 28. — After dinner Mr. V. and Mr. F.
called. I got into a scrape with the parson, and do
not know how I shall get out of it. I believe I did
not know what I was about. It is nothing very hor-
rid, — do not be alarmed; but it is difficult to get
along with these gentlemen. I meant to put the
blame all on his shoulders, but I feel pretty well
convinced that I was the transgressor. It was
thoughtlessness on my part. However, I met him.
at Mrs. T. 's in the evening. He came home with,
me, and promised to answer a question next time,
for we got home a little too soon. He goes out on
a cruise this morning, and next time will not be till,
the end of the week. Oh, I wish you were here,
my dear sister, that I could tell you all these inter-
esting hobbles that one is liable to.
69
Fourth of July. — Our country's birthday. May
there be many happy returns of the day to her, and
may she always be blessed with wise and judicious
rulers! One year ago to-day I was in the good
ship "Sumatra," wondering where the next year
would find me. Now the anniversary finds me
peaceful and happy, surrounded with comforts, but
lacking the greatest of all, my own dear friends;
and often do I think that all the ease and comforts
I enjoy are dearly purchased.
August I, Sunday. — Went to Dr. Morrison's this
morning; communion day there. How sincerely I
wished that I could partake with them ! but I do
not know at present what would be necessary or how
to join. But I mean to think more of it, and inquire,
for I do most seriously think it the duty of every
one, and a privilege, too, it raises such holy feel-
ings. I left the church, feeling melancholy that I
could not be a partaker. I returned home, and read
one of Buckminster's sermons on the subject, which
more fully convinced me that it should not be
neglected.
August 2. — After dinner called on Mrs. Clifton,
a lady that arrived a few days since. Mr. C. was
sitting in lordly style, smoking a splendid hookah,
which custom is brought from Calcutta. It was
formerly the fashion for every one, ladies and
gentlemen, to smoke them after dinner, but it is
fast falling away, and now none but the determined
smokers use them. It is certainly the most gentle-
manly way of smoking, and makes a great display,
70
as the hookahs are made of splendid materials.
There is generally one man, or hookahbadar, to take
care of the pipe.
August 6. — I wish I could give you the least idea
of a Chinese procession that passed here this after-
noon. It seems they are dedicating a new church,
or Joss house, and it makes a great fuss in town,
but, were I to fill page after page, I fear I should
fail to give you any idea of it. In the first place
its length, and its variety of objects, dresses, music,
etc., were beyond everything. The dresses were
many of them very splendid, or, rather, made of the
most splendid colors and materials you can imagine,
but loaded on in a style that cannot please the eye
of any person possessed of taste. There were fe-
males splendidly attired, on horseback, and sitting
astride; little boys rigged up in the most gro-
tesque hats and dresses, carrying the most splen-
didly wrought banners of the richest colors. Then
there were children suspended in air, so that they
appeared to be standing on nothing, they were so
ingeniously contrived. There was also a little
Venus, coming out of her shell, and millions of
other things that I am sure I cannot remember.
And then the music ! Music did I say ? O
heavens ! If such discordant sounds can be called
music, it must have been the height of perfection,
for never was there such a noise, the horrid gongs
beating so that we could not hear a person's voice,
though ever so near. Oh, I must not forget the
interesting pigs ! Poor piggy was murdered, roasted.
and lacquered for the occasion, and carried along on
cars. There was one lamb, poor little thing, with
its wool sheared off, and set up on a car as though
it was alive. Then followed a pig all ready for cut-
ting up, another roasted, and another lacquered.
You must know at all the marriage processions,
funerals, or what not, these poor innocent pigs are
sacrificed. They were followed by cars filled with
fruit, — presents to Joss, I suppose.
i%tk. — Calls from Mrs. Blair and Mrs. Mont-
gomery, the new arrivals, — very genteel people.
They bring us the latest Calcutta fashions. Such
sleeves I never beheld, — complete frights ! [These
were the big sleeves of 1830, stuffed out with down
pillows. See Chinnery's portrait. — Ed.'\
August 25. — This morning after breakfast I was
standing on the terrace, cleaning my birds, when
I was handed a package of letters from home. It
came so unexpectedly I was quite delighted. I
instantly left my birds to the boy, and ran to my
great chair to take real comfort in reading them.
Yours, my dear sis, is not full enough. I want
you to tell me rather longer stories. You just give
me a few words, and leave it to my brilliant imagi-
nation to picture the rest. Now I think you are
mistaken in its capabilities ! I felt highly honored
to have a letter from Mr. Eames. He is a good
man, and I like him fifty per cent, better for it. I
shall endeavor to answer it if I do not lose courage
before there comes an opportunity. Am delighted
to hear you are all well and seemingly happy. I
72
only wish time and space could be annihilated, and
I could be with you ! Is it wrong, my dear, to in-
dulge such a wish ? Yes, I think it is. Cannot we
be satisfied with so many blessings ? Oh, ungrate-
ful girl that I am ! preserved through so many dan-
gers, finding friends wherever my destiny has led
me, enjoying the greatest of earthly blessings, the
blessing of health, how can I complain ! And how
do you think we got these letters? They had a
most mysterioas outside. We could not think what
to make of it, but we at last found out by sending
to Mr. Sturgis. It seems the "Bashaw" arrived
yesterday from England, having spoken the Ameri-
can ship "Galaxy," bound to Manila, in the Straits
of Sunda, and took from her our letters; but we
have not yet got the papers you mention.
August 30. — A hot northerly wind scorching our
cheeks this morning. How different this wind is
here in the summer season to what it is with us !
Blowing over the land, it of course comes to us
scorching, and it is astonishing to see what an in-
stantaneous effect it has. The people here gener-
ally shut it out of their houses, it cracks the tables
and dries up the furniture immediately; the
grass looks as if a fire had passed over it. A few
days of this wind would completely destroy the
paddy (the growing rice. )
August 31. — The last day of summer! Is it
possible.' So we move on, my dear sister. We
took our Spanish lesson to-day ; and I wrote a letter
in Spanish, which Mr. O. pronounced muy buen.
73
He was astonished, he said. You would be amused,
I think, to take a walk with us and see the China-
men. To-day, as we went along, there were eight
or ten of them sitting about, some with one knee
over another, some in Turkish style, some smoking
their pipes, and all with fans in their hands. In-
deed, you scarcely ever see a Chinaman or woman
without a fan. Even the chair-bearers fan them-
selves as they carry their burden. They sometimes
perch themselves on the highest hills and sit there
gossiping. We see them after dark lying about in
every direction, they take their mats out and
throw them down in the best place they can find,
and make a rock their pillow. They are not at all
particular about a pillow, indeed, they never use
anything softer than a bamboo one. Some of them
do arrive at that luxury. It may be truly said here
that nature's wants are few. Give a Chinaman
plenty of rice and fish, a bamboo mat, and a small
piece of cloth for his waist, and he can live; that
is, in the summer. In winter they suffer much
from the cold, and require a great many clothes,
but in Manila, where it is constant summer, they
want scarcely anything.
September 2. — A most splendid evening. I sat
on the terrace enjoying it till after ten. Thought
much of you this evening, and wished I could re-
count to you the events of the day. They are not
worth writing, but would just do for a little gossip.
And now I have arrived at the last page of this val-
uable book. I shall commence another instantly.
74
and I will endeavor to make it more worthy of you ;
but small are my abilities. Would I had improved
them more! If this gives you a moment's pleas-
ure, it will answer the purpose of your devoted
sister H.
PART II.
OCT. 27, 1830, TO MARCH 3, 1 83 1.
[The journal from Sept. 2, 1830, to March i,
1 83 1, is missing; but a few letters and fragments
of letters, describing the long-talked-of journey to
Canton, have been found, and parts of them are
inserted here. — Ed.]
Oct. 27, 1830. — You will see that we are still in
Macao, and, for all that we can see at present, here
we are likely to be; for the Chinese are making a
great fuss about us poor harmless Fanquis (foreign
devils), and say, and persist in saying, that " that
lady ' ' (meaning Mrs. Baynes) ' ' must go down, ' '
but " that lady " is very obstinate, and will not go.
They have threatened to send soldiers to take her
away, upon which Mr. B. has had up a hundred
armed sailors from the ships, and cannon placed at
the gate of the factory. For the last fortnight we
have been in a great state of excitement, but it is
thought generally that it will blow over, and, though
the Chinese will never consent to ladies going to
Canton, that they will wink at it, and, as Mouqua
told Uncle, " they will shutty eye and shutty ear."
I should be very glad to have the English carry the
point if it can be done without bloodshed, but time
will show. [The attempt was soon made by the
American ladies to follow the example of their Eng-
lish sisters, as the next date will show. — Ed.]
76
Canton, November 6. — Here we are in the Celes-
tial city, in a fine house, with every comfort around
us, but the Hong merchants are making a row, and
it is doubtful whether we remain long. But I will
go back to Macao, and begin my adventures from
there, giving you the particulars of our passage up,
the difificulties and troubles we had to reach the
Celestial city, etc. It is a long story, so be patient.
Well, Uncle arrived in Macao on Wednesday,
November 3, in the little brig "Terrier," belong-
ing to Mr. Gushing, and which he had kindly offered
for our accommodation, and on Friday morning we
got into the "Sumatra's" pinnace at six o'clock,
and went on board the "Terrier," the Chinamen all
refusing to give us the least assistance, except one
boat-girl, more courageous than the rest, who lent
us a board to step on as we got into the boat, for
which she was liberally rewarded with a dollar.
There is no doubt the mandarins got half, as the
system of "squeezing" is carried on through all
ranks. We got under way at seven, the wind cold
and piercing, and blowing strong from the north
(which was dead ahead), and it was not long before
both Aunt and myself began to droop, and were pro-
nounced to be quite "under the weather." It
would never do to say we were sea-sick. That
would be too vulgar. We went below into a neat
little cabin, finished off in fine style, where a nice
breakfast had been prepared for us, but eating was
quite out of the question, and we were very glad to
find ourselves on deck again. We beat up to Lin-
77
tin, arriving there about two. It was thought best
to send another boat with us, that we might row up
the river, should the wind fail us. We accordingly
took the "Sumatra's " boat in tow, with four of her
men in it. Lintin is a small island with a very-
high peak, and a fine anchorage for ships, where all
the outlaws (alias smugglers) lie, with their opium.
I counted about fifteen. The wind continued with
the tide till about four, when we were obliged to
"take in the muslin " and anchor just above Lintin,
as the tides are so strong that it is impossible to
go against one without a strong breeze. There we
lay until ten, — a lovely evening, but rather cold.
When night approached, it was very natural to think
about turning in, but when we asked "were there
■'cockroaches on board," the answer was fatal to our
hopes of a night's rest. While on deck, I said I
should not mind them, I could sleep anywhere,
and at nine I went very courageously below; but
when I looked into my berth, nicely fitted up with
red silk curtains, a tremendous one appeared at first
view, and, while endeavoring to kill him, half a
dozen more appeared, which quite cooled my cour-
age, and in despair I took my pillow, and, with my
cloak around me, threw my weary limbs upon the
transom, hoping to forget the cruel tormentors. But
fancy was wide awake, and the moment I shut my
eyes she was bringing clouds of them before me.
Aunt L. at last composed herself on the floor, with
mosquito curtains around her, but there was no
room there for two. About ten the tide was again
7^ ■
in our favor, and we made sail, and commenced
beating up the river. The continual noise on deck
and the constant talking were very disturbing, and,
just as wearied nature would begin to forget herself,
the vessel would have to tack, and, as I did not
much like sleeping head downwards, with the risk
of a bump against the other side of the cabin, I
must needs tack, too. So you may judge that hard
was my lot that night. You may suppose we did
not feel much the better for it in the morning.
About daylight we again anchored, a few miles
below the Boca Tigre, or the Tiger's Mouth, as the
Portuguese call it, where we found the "Sylph,"
a schooner of about thirty tons, ready to take us the
rest of the way. On each point of land here there
is a Chinese fort, and, while we were waiting for
the tide again, we might easily have been sent back
from here, had the mandarin suspected our presence.
So we both wore velvet caps and cloaks, to prevent
their recognizing us as women. At noon we went
on board the "Sylph," and passed the Boca in
safety, passed a man-of-war, too, but they did not
molest us. We were well armed. Had a delight-
ful head wind till we reached Whampoa, too late to
see the beautiful scenery and the fleet of ships now
there. At eleven the moon rose in splendor, so
that we had a fine view of the pagodas as we neared
Canton, and the endless variety of boats. I forgot
all my fatigue, and we stayed on deck, admiring
everything. Everything was still and quiet, thou-
sands and thousands at rest in a small space. It
79
was more Chinese than anything we had seen be-
fore. The tea-boats are immense, and ranged along
in such order that they form complete streets upon
the water. There are also houses built upon boats,
and forming streets. I have enjoyed it all very
much, and have not yet repented that I came. We
anchored about half-past twelve Saturday night, and
came ashore without the least difficulty. Indeed,
no one would have known that we were not "all
samee boy" in our cloaks and caps, as we jumped
out of the boat without waiting for arms. I said to
Captain R., " Now I will walk directly to the fac-
tory " ; and I did go straight to the door, I knew it
so well by description. The porter opened the
door, and for the first time we entered a Hong in
the Celestial city of Canton. And now you will
perhaps wish to know what a Hong, or factory, is.
Perhaps you will fancy looms about; but it is noth-
ing more nor less than a range of houses built one
back of the other, and entered by arches, with a
passage under the houses to get to each. We have
the advantage of being in front, where we can see
everything that goes on. The rear houses are like
prisons, as there is nothing to be seen from them
but the walls of the houses in front. There are
four houses in this Hong. Ours was empty, but —
[Here the letter ends, the last sheet having been
lost. ]
November 15. — These despicable Chinese, who
are not worth our notice, have the power to disturb
us all. They yesterday issued a chop saying that
8o
trade would be stopped "if one Low did not imme-
diately remove his family to Macao." Now it is so
provoking that the Company* ladies, because they
are a body and can bully them, are permitted to stay,
and we, poor creatures, must go. You have no
idea of the knavery of these fellows. As an in-
stance, I will just tell you what old Mouqua told
us a few days since. He said that, when Mrs. B.
came up, he told the Viceroy that her husband was
very sick (which was false), and that she had to
come up and take care of him. When Mrs.T. came,
the Viceroy sent for him again, and he said that she
was Mr. B. 's cousin, "and he so sick he wanchy too
much to see her." Now, he says, that we have
come, "I no can talky sick any more. Now I know
not what talky. ' '
We do not feel convinced that this chop is from
the Viceroy, but suspect it is a forgery of the Hong
merchants, and we shall have to go back to Macao,
while the English ladies stay here and enjoy them-
selves. Mr. L. says it will be attended with great
Mat if the trade of an empire is stopped on our ac-
count ; but the upshot of the matter is, if the trade
is stopped, we shall have to budge.
November 17. — We are still here, and all they
wish us to do now is to say when we will go. They
say if we tell them three or four weeks hence, and
then are not ready, "putty off a little, that have
mandarin fashion, " — good-for-nothing creatures that
they are !
* East India Company.
8i
November 27. — About dark it grew rather cool,
and a fire was proposed; and you have no idea how
cosey we looked, with our carpets down and a blazing
coal fire. Our circle round the "wee bit ingle"
was composed of Aunt, Uncle, Messrs. R., H., L.,
and B. , and my own dear self. After a social cup of
tea, Mr. Russell left us for the office, and shortly
came back with budgets of news. The "Ann
Amelia" had arrived from England, bringing Mr.
Marjoribanks and others, to supersede Mr. B. and
his assistants. So they are turned out, and lose
their sixty thousand dollars for this year. It seems
the directors at home disapproved in toto of the
measures of last year, and this is the consequence.
It is thought very severe here, as all did what they
thought for the best. I feel very sorry for Mrs. B. ,
as she will feel it a great mortification. I hear she
is to leave Canton in a few days, and will probably
go to England by the first ship. After the first
surprise was over, a walk was proposed, as it was a
delightful moonshiny night. We walked in front of
the factories without exciting much observation.
We then went up Old China Street, through
Bouquiqua Street, and down New China Street.
We were discovered to be Fanquis there; and
lights were called for, that the Chinamen might
look at us. They kindled up fires in an instant to
behold our fair faces, and we had quite a rabble
round us before we reached the front of the factories
again, though they were all perfectly civil, and
made no noise, but only showed a little curiosity,
82
of which they have a share in common with their
fellow-creatures of more enlightened parts. But,
when we reached the open square, the "gallant tars ' '
that were promenading there espoused our cause,
and scattered the mob in quick time. After they
had dispersed, we sallied forth again, and went to
Mr. Iv.'s house. You have no idea how elegantly
these bachelors live here. I don't wonder they
like it.
It is now decided that we are to leave Canton on
Tuesday or Wednesday next. They grant us a chop-
boat to go down in, and in my next letter I shall be
able to give you a description of a chop-boat, and
of the inner passage to Macao, which is said to be
very pleasant. We should have been very happy
here for three months if they would have let us stay,
but they will not. All the Chinese outside say that
Chow Tuck (or Governor Le) has "lost face" very
much by letting the English ladies remain and
sending the Americans down ; but there is no reason
in it, and I hope they will get paid for it one of
these days. They say that a message has gone to
the Emperor, and he will settle the business, but
there is an insurrection in the upper provinces, and
I doubt whether his Majesty ever hears of it.
Macao, Jan. 8, 1831. — We have had the last
week an immense quantity of news, such as the
death of King George IV. (June 25, 1830), and, via
Mexico, news of the abdication of Charles X., his
flight to England, and the revolution in France;
also, most wonderful of all, Lafayette's being at the
83
head of the National Guards again, after such a
lapse of time. We hear that this revolution was a
bloodless one, but the news came in such a round-
about way that we feel very anxious to get direct
particulars. It is thought that Spain and Portugal
will follow the example of France, and throw off the
yoke, too. I believe I have written you since the
revolution here, — I mean in the affairs of the Com-
pany. You may remember what a gay season we
had last year, and the cause, a little difficulty with
the Chinese, which obliged the Company to keep a
great many ships here, and cost them a pretty penny.
Upon hearing this, the directors were quite enraged
with the chief (Mr. B. ) and his staff, and imme-
diately ordered him and others to be superseded by
Mr. Majoribanks, a shrewd Scotchman. All this
made a great alteration in the politics of this place.
Mrs. B. is a heroine, and bears it all beautifully.
She is a charming woman, and a pattern for all
wives. Mr. B. is a nervous, sickly man, and, I be-
lieve, a great sufferer.
The weather here is delightful, and since we re-
turned from Canton we have enjoyed it highly, for, I
assure you, we got completely tired of company while
there. By the bye, I daresay you know the terms
that the Americans in Canton have been on with the
English for the last two years. I am happy to say
that under the new administration all differences
are settled, and on Christmas Day they had a gen-
eral meeting at the Company's, and a most delight-
ful time, — a splendid dinner, a great deal of speech-
84
ifying and good-fellowship. The new chief is very-
popular, and I hope all will be pleasant in future.
Now for "the woman pigeon." The Chinese
succeeded in getting us away, as they attacked us
on a vulnerable point. Had they stopped the
American trade in general, they would have had all
the gallant youths fighting for us at the city gates,
but they only stopped that of our house. I hear the
last report was that the Emperor's answer had been
received, forbidding any lady to visit Canton hence-
forth. Whether this is true or not we have our
doubts. At any rate, the Viceroy has not seen fit
to issue the mighty chop publicly, but will, it is
thought, when the Company leave. The Chinese
are very cunning, and know very well what they are
about. Uncle has not been down since the first of
December, when he came with us ; and we do not
expect to see him till February or March.
January 25. — I long to know what you think of
our trip to Canton. I daresay you will think we
were wrong to attempt it, thereby breaking the laws
of even the Chinese; but I assure you there is no
comparison to be drawn between the Chinese and any
other nation in the world. They will not allow any
innovation upon "old custom," and will ding those
words into your ears forever if it is not for their
interest to violate it, when it is quite a different
thing. Another thing they acknowledge is that
they "cannot talky reason," and must be "bullied."
Every one advised Uncle to make the experiment of
taking us up, and they were very shrewd, and knew
85
just the tender point to touch, — the stopping of the
trade of the one house. So we were obliged to give
in. Not that I wished to stay in Canton any
longer. Three weeks answered my purpose very
well, but I could not bear to let the Chinese know
they could do anything with the Americans. For
my own part, I was not well while there, and I am
sure Aunt L. was not. It is very delightful to
have our friends round us, and I would put up with
many inconveniences to be with Uncle and a few
others who live in Canton, but to be constantly
subject, morning, noon, and night, to visits from
people we care nothing about, but are obliged to
treat civilly, I assure you, fond as I am of society
and company, it was too much for me. On our re-
turn to Macao it seemed more enchanting than ever.
The lovely weather and the quiet were really de-
lightful; and since my return I have employed my
time much to my own satisfaction, which is very
comforting.
Poor Mr. B., being a feeble man, has taken his
troubles and disappointments quite to heart, and
last night was at the point of death. Mr. Dunn
took passage in the "Canning" for England, after
having been feasted, toasted, and cheered to his
heart's content. He has the good wishes and good
will of all who have ever known him in Canton.
He is very fond of good living, and will have every-
thing of the nicest kind, and is as particular in lay-
ing a cloth under the table to make it match with
the stripes of the carpet as ever Mrs. Ropes was.
86
March i- — We have received orders from the
Governor of Macao to leave this place. He says
he has received them from the Court of Lisbon.
Now this is so counter to the treaty of the nations
that the reasons for doing it are not understood.
He says he shall not resort to force to drive us away,
but, I assure you, it is not very pleasant to be threat-
ened from one place to another. We were sent to
Macao by the Viceroy of Canton, and, if the Gov-
ernor here tells us to walk, we shall just have to
apply to said Viceroy for permission to remain.
People say the government of Macao is only nomi-
nally Portuguese, and I do not think there is much
danger of our being sent home. Soon after we ar-
rived. Uncle called on his Excellency, as is cus-
tomary, and told him what house he had taken, and
the Governor told him he must apply to the Court of
Lisbon or Goa*for permission to stay here. He
wrote to Lisbon; but it will probably be three years
before he gets an answer, when I suspect we shall
be ready to go home. So much for orders, which
do not trouble us much.
In the last few days I have seen considerable of a
Mr. W., who came out in the "Fanny " from Phila-
delphia, a very ' ' clever ' ' and pleasant young man.
He leaves this afternoon, however, for Canton. He
has a long tongue of his own, yea, verily! Phila-
delphia turns out some great talkers !
* Fortaguese headquarters in ladia. — Ed,
BOOK III.
MACAO, MARCH I TO DEC. I 5, 1 83 I.
Well, my dear sister, I am beginning another
book. I wish I could be sure that you read them
with interest. My last I sent off, I think, on the
2Sth of February,* to go by my friend Mr. Russell.
Since I sent the last, I believe nothing particular has
happened, except that I have been introduced to
another American gentleman, who came out in the
" Fanny " from Philadelphia, a very clever and pleas-
ing young man. [Spoken of in the last Canton
letter. — Ed] He was introduced by Mr. B. on Sun-
day morning, being too diffident, he says, to come
alone. He managed, however, after the first time, to
come again to walk with us, and to stay to tea. He
is an immense talker, but always talks well, — wise,
witty, or grave, as suits his hearers. He is not hand-
some, but has a most intellectual face. He draws
very well, and immediately took me under his protec-
tion, and became my teacher.
March i. — After dinner we went to walk. Got
into a bit of a scrape ; something about walking with
Mr. W., not worth telling, however. Mr. W. spent
the evening with us, — a clever youth.
March 2. — This morning a party of nine, including
Mr. v., Mr. W., and myself, set off for the Lappa.
•This was the lost volume, before mentioned. — Ed.
We had a very delightful sail and a walk on the other
island. We visited the Joss house, which is situated
in the most picturesque manner on the declivity of a
high hill, among a great deal of shrubbery and some
fine trees. The river runs before it at a little dis-
tance, and at one side, quite near, is a fine fall of
water. The people were excessively civil, and gave
us tea and all the oranges they had. They brought
out some cakes, and something else, a sort of nonde-
script, Mr. Davis called it "pig-pye not sufficiently
disguised." The junks of fat pork were much too
apparent. We sat on the steps of the Joss house
and partook of our frugal meal, and, having rested our
weary limbs a little, we began our journey home by a
different route. All were highly pleased with the
excursion, and even Mr. Davis, who before he set
out, thought it "the complete assassination of a day,"
acknowledged that he felt repaid. He is a great
student, and feels every moment lost that is not spent
with his books, I believe. He is what the English
call an exceedingly clever man, and can make himself
very agreeable. He and his wife wished me to dine
with them, but I was too much fatigued, and went
home. Took my books, and studied a little French.
Mr. V. came in to bring my handkerchief, and stayed
till seven.
March 3. — Mr. W. called to take leave. He goes
to Canton this afternoon.
Zth. — This morning I have been reading the
papers father sent. I should like, when you do send
papers, to have something besides advertisements. I
89
do not think much of your Long Island Star. A few
words from my dear father on the margin of one of
them was worth all the rest.
lOth. — Mrs. Davis came in after dinner to say
that Mr. V. went out in the cutter yesterday morning,
expecting to be back in an hour and a half, but he
has not been heard of since. They have despatched
several boats, for the wind has been blowing quite
a gale. Went to walk in the afternoon with the
Davises, and found a new place. Went through a
village where we were assaulted or barked at by a
thousand dogs, which, with children squalling, made
quite a bedlam. Were very glad, on our return, to
hear that V. had got back, having been in a most
perilous situation. They came as near as possible
to being lost.
March 19. — Mr. V. spent the evening with us. I
wonder what you would think of Mr. V. as a parson.
He is one of the drollest creatures I ever met, and
keeps us laughing all the time. He is a good man
in his way, but has little of the gravity of a clergy-
man.
20th, Sunday. — I am now going to prepare for
church. I must write a letter to-day to Mr. W.
Goody, what a job ! He wrote me a very amusing
one the other day, when he sent me some drawing
materials. Now I must do my prettiest. I suppose
I shall have to begin " My dear Mr. W.", as he took
the liberty to say " My dear Miss L." ; but that is
so common here that it means no more than "my
dear sir," when a challenge is sent. As it rained
90
after dinner, I did not go to walk, but read one or two
sermons, and then H. K. White's " Remains," which
never fails to make me melancholy. I got quite dull
before tea-time. Went to bed feeling that I should
have no spirits to go out to breakfast to-morrow morn-
ing, but there is no knowing what an hour may bring
forth. I am happy to say a night's sleep often
softens the asperities of one's feelings, and calms
one's troubled thoughts.
March 21. — Awoke this morning with a weight on
my spirits, why I know not, but, however, was per-
suaded to go to the race-breakfast with Uncle and Aunt.
Had a very pleasant time. Went to the race-course
in a boat ; a very delightful morning, no sun, and just
cool enough. Races very good. Came home and
went to drawing, am quite mad now for this delight-
ful amusement. Dressed, and went at seven to the
Company's dinner. V. handed me to table, I sat
between him and Mr. L. If I could have chosen,
they would have been the ones. Came home about
ten, but I won't tell you, my dear, how out of humor
I was or the cause of it, till I see you face to face.
Then I will tell you all my little annoyances and
troubles. I went to bed almost resolved never to go
anywhere again while I was in Macao, but I suppose
this resolution is made to be broken, and in the course
of a week I shall be quite reconciled. But once in a
while I do retire in disgust from everybody, and
think that the rest of my exile shall be spent in por-
ing over books ; but I do like society, and soon I am
again drawn into it.
91
March 24. — My dear sister, I would give sixpence
to see you. I am not yet myself. I have got dread-
fully out of humor. I have not now the happy dis-
position you say I have. My books of late have not
had the interest they once had, but I hope to find
myself again in a few days. Adieu.
I left off here in a very gloomy state, and deliber-
ated which I had better do, — read over my old letters
(my constant resource) or take a dose of salts !
Having finally concluded that indisposition was the
cause of my gloom, I dissolved the salts, and was just
standing before the glass in my own room, thinking
how interesting I looked with the glass half up to my
mouth, making faces and shuddering involuntarily,
when Aunt L. came in, bringing me three home let-
ters. (I assure you the salts were instantly put on
the table for future consideration.) I read them
again and again. They were old, but just as interest-
ing. They might have been up here two months
ago, but were sent by a slow-sailing ship. Never
mind, they came just at the right time, and I felt six
per cent, better after them. Went to walk with
Mrs. A. after dinner. Met Mr. V., and had a most
delightful walk. The evening was quite perfect, and
we went up the steps of the cathedral, and listened
for some time to the rich tones of the organ. Oh, I
do so delight in hearing it ! It carries me instantly
back to our church in Salem. Now at this very in-
stant they are probably seated at the pine table in
the western side of the orchestra [query, choir f — Ed?^
singing away, as Eliza writes me they meet every
Friday evening to practise.
92
March 28. — A warm day ; find a white dress very
comfortable. Summer is coming upon us. Pulled out
\ old dresses to-day, and find the great sleeves worn
last summer will have to be cut out. Oh, dear, what
a job ! What slaves to fashion we are !
April 3, Sunday. — Went to church this morning,
Easter Sunday. Mr. V. gave us an excellent sermon,
the sacrament was administered, and I felt a great
desire to stay. I did not, but I sincerely hope before
another time I shall have made up my mind to fulfill
our Lord's last request, and to join in celebrating that
rite which was instituted to remind us of our duty,
and to draw us nearer to heaven and the presence of
Him who sacrificed everything for us. Yes, my
dear sister, I hope it will be a new era in my life, and
that by performing this one duty I may be led on
step by step till I arrive at the perfect knowledge.
Mr. V. came in after dinner, and I had a long talk
with him in the veranda. He says he will lend me
some books to read, which he thinks will quite satisfy
me on the subject.
6th. — Reading the Life of the Duke de Berry. I
am quite in love with his character. What an unfort-
unate family they have been ! After dinner went to
walk with the Davises, and young Daniell joined us,
and, just before we reached home, old Daniell. You
cannot imagine a greater contrast than these two
brothers. One all fun and life, the other so languish-
ing, so romantic, that the sound of anjrthing gross or
commonplace shocks him. It is really as good as a
play to see him and Mr. Davis, who is very blunt,
93
and sometimes not so nice in his observations. Poor
Matt looks horror-struck, and, I suppose, wonders that
the ladies do not crush him with a look instead of
doing nothing but laugh to see the effect it has on
him.
April lo, Sunday. — This morning V. sent me
several books, giving some explanations of the Trinity,
and a kind letter with some observations on the sub-
ject, pointing out some passages which he thought
would convince me of the truth of the doctrine of
the Trinity and the Divinity of Jesus Christ, all of
which I shall peruse with attention, and pray to God
to enlighten my understanding. ... I read the " Com-
panion to the Altar," and feel convinced that I could
conscientiously partake of the Holy Communion,
although I cannot bring myself yet to believe in the
Trinity. How much I wish I could converse a little
with my dear father! Arguments strong on both
sides quite puzzle me ; but can it be so important to
our salvation 1 Would our heavenly Father have
left anything in such hidden mystery, had it been so
very necessary to us .? Would He not have explained
it to us, if of such vast importance .'
After dinner went to walk with Mrs. A., and met
"old Daniell," who said he had come up to see what
that red thing on the hill was. (My bonnet !)
Coming home, he wanted to know what church I had
attended at home or to what sect I belonged. I
told him I had been in the habit of attending a Uni-
tarian church. He would hardly believe it. Said,
" You are not a Unitarian, or how can you go to our
94
church ? " He seemed to have a great horror of
Unitarians. He said they were as different as possible
^"^ from the Church of England, and, indeed, the only
sect that did not come within the pale of their
Church. He said they did not believe in the Divinity
of Christ, nor of any of his institutions, the sanctity
of marriage, of baptism, or anything. I told him
they were an altogether different sect in America
then ; that I had been baptized, that they did be-
lieve in the sanctity of marriage, and that the sacra-
ment was administered every month. He was quite
astonished. Says the Unitarians are not called
Christians in England. In short, they are there, I
should think, what we call Deists, which are as dif-
ferent as possible from Unitarians. I endeavored
to explain the difference, as well as I could, but
could not recall the proper term for their Unitarians
at the time. How I wished, at that moment, for all
Mr. Upham's knowledge on the subject !
April 13. — I forgot to tell you that after reading
Lord Byron last night, and then taking the expenses
of the day, I filled up the paper with poetry, which
has just afforded Aunt L. a good laugh. She says
she shall send it to Canton. Perhaps it will adorn a
column in the Canton Register. She told Mrs. D.,
who has given me the name of Byrona. Mr. V.
came in and brought me a beautiful rose, which about
ten o'clock inspired some more poetry, I think of a
higher order. Have some hopes of myself. Think
in the course of time I may be a poetess I
23^. — After dinner V. came in, and how you will
95
laugh when I tell you what he brought me from
Canton. You might guess till you were tired, and
would fail, I think. It is an article which is thought
very important when accompanied by something else,
and which often makes a great change in a person's
life ; but, without the article that should accompany
such a gift, I do not think it very important. It is,
however, very pretty, and will serve as a remem-
brance and cause many a smile. I would not have it
known here for anything. Guess if you can. I will
leave you in the dark for the present. Mrs. A. came
in, and saw this article lying on the couch. She
said, " I think this should never be seen in the draw-
ing-room, nor should it be in the possession of a
young lady."
April 2% to May 15. — [Journal "sadly neglected"
on account of much letter-writing. French, Spanish,
and drawing, with a little sewing and many calls
made and received, served to fill up the time, with
constant visits from "V." On May 4 she writes : " I
had a severe attack of the blues, and had just seated
myself on the veranda to relieve myself with a few of
those drops 'that from the eye relieve the heart,'
when V. came in, and his cheerful company soon
dissipated them." Again, on the loth "V. spent
the evening with us. We sat on the veranda and
had a pleasant chat. He is my best, and, indeed, my
only friend among the English." May 16 the jour-
nal begins to be a little fuller again. — Ed^
May 16. — The Chinese are commencing their im-
positions again, tearing the Company's walls down,
96
destroying their shrubberies, etc. The Foqua, now
the next in authority, has been larking round in Can-
ton, went into the Company's room, ordered the
king's picture to be uncovered, and said he would sit
in his presence, — one of the greatest indignities, ac-
cording to Chinese ideas, that could be offered.
They seemed to be carrying things with a high
hand. Some of the committee have gone up to see
what can be done.
May i8. — Again my birthday. Felt rather mel-
ancholy when I awoke this morning, for in my
dreams I was in America. F. and A. in this morn-
ing ; say the Company are excessively anxious for the
renewal of their charter, and they think there is now
no prospect of it, as every member now in the House
of Lords has pledged himself not to renew it.
May 20. — After dinner a ship arrived from Cal-
cutta, bringing four ladies, — two spinsters, I hear.
Quite a happy event for the gentlemen, for I believe
\y they are tired of the ladies here ; and we were pro-
, posing the other day that we should change ourselves
in some way for their benefit. But these new dam-
sels will delight them for a while. Poor things ! I
pity them !
May 25. — Went to call on the new arrivals,
— Mrs. Maiden, a widow, and two Miss Williams,
one considerably advanced, may be decidedly called
an old maid, and ugly enough, the other about
twenty. They are half-caste, and quite dark. I
hear the young one is to be married to Mr. Mendez,
whom we should call black ; but he is a pure-blooded
97
Portuguese, and, if ever so black, is considered above
a half-caste. Mr. D. joined us on our return, and
told us of the absurd edicts the Chinese have issued,
which it is quite impossible can ever be carried into
effect, such as saying that no foreigners are to go
into their factories, and, indeed, are not permitted to
go out, nor are they permitted to have Chinese ser-
vants, except one coolie at the gate, to see that no
improper person goes in. They may have two
coolies to work and one to bring water, but they
must not be the companions of foreigners, who are
crafty and deceitful, and not to be trusted, with
many other like absurdities.
2^th. — For the first time approached the altar,
and partook of the holy sacrament. May it be the
commencement of a new life in me !
June 7. — Mr. W. made us a fl)ang call after din-
ner. Came down from Canton this morning. Did a
week's talking in ten minutes.
June 8. — If I could tell you all the funny things
I have heard this evening, I think you would laugh.
The ends of my mouth have several times been un-
usually familiar with my ears, for you must know the
very sensible and facetious Mr. W. dropped into tea
with us, and he did his prettiest to be entertaining,
and succeeded. [Between "V." and "W." things
began to be rather complicated, one being sure to
turn up if the other were absent ; and on July 6 is
this rather significant entry. — Ed7[ : —
July 6. — After dinner walked out with Uncle.
We were joined by Talbot and V. The latter of-
98
fered his arm first, and I had to take it. I shall
have to cut him yet. Uncle shakes his head, and
says it will not do.
July lo. — After church Mrs. Davis came to tell
us that a nun was to take the black veil that after-
noon. So at four I set out with her for the chapel
of Santa Clara, a neat chapel belonging to the con-
vent. The entrance is rather magnificent. After
reading " Matilde, " one is apt to fancy all cei-emonies
will be like that one (described in " Matilde "). I had
prepared myself for something very imposing, but
was exceedingly disappointed. Indeed, I might have
known that it would be so, for some of their most
solemn and imposing ceremonies are performed with
the least degree of real solemnity. We had a good
stand near the altar, and could see the whole. At
the appointed hour the lady walked into the church,
accompanied by the padres and the boys with lighted
candles. She knelt before the altar; and an old
padre (a wicked-looking creature) chanted something
in Latin, and was answered by the other padres.
The lady then mounted another step ; and he chanted
again, and sprinkled her with holy water or incense,
then gave her an immense candlestick decked with
all kinds of tinsel. She took it and walked out of
the church, and was then lost to the world. The
band played a dancing tune as she entered the
church, to remind her, I suppose, that she must
leave the folly of the world behind her now.
From the chapel she went into the nunnery. At
the end of the chapel is a grating, and there was
99
a great rush there to see the end of the ceremony.
But never (I hope) shall my curiosity lead me into
such a scrape again, — to see a Portuguese nun, at
any rate. There was I in a crowd of these nasty
people, black, white, and gray, and could not move
an inch. Fortunately, Mr. V. protected me as well
as he could.
But, after all this squeeze, you will wish to know if
I felt paid for it. I am hardly satisfied that, the
account was balanced, but I will tell you what I saw,
and you shall judge. We at first saw the nun behind
the grating, dressed as in the chapel, in her splendid
dress of white lace trimmed with pink satin over a
white satin under-dress, diamond necklace, head-
dress of diamonds, fingers covered with diamond
rings, and a white veil thrown over her head. She
casts all these aside, renounces the world and all its
vanities, has her hair cut off, and comes again to the
grating. The padre chants again, and the organ
plays, with much singing, which being all in Latin no
one could understand. She then embraces and
salutes all her sister nuns, ugly old creatures, who are
behind the grating, covered with their long black
veils. She then puts on the dress of the nunnery,
which is of something dark blue, with a rope round
the waist, covers herself with a thick black veil, face
and all, and is seen no more. To make all this very
interesting and touching, you will fancy her young^
beautiful, and engaging ; but, lest it should make too
deep an impression on you, I will just undeceive you
on that point, and tell you she was excessively ugly.
lOO
and, it is said, not under thirty-two years of age. I
suppose she despaired of ever getting a husband ta
please her mind. She gives ;? 1,500 to get in there,
and conceals her charms from the world forever. The
gentlemen made no attempt to rescue her. The nuns
are there as novices for a year and a day before they
take the black veil, and during that time they can
return to the world if they please ; but, if at the end
of the time they conclude to remain, the bells send
forth a merry peal, and there is great rejoicing. I
assure you I was most happy when the ceremony was
over, and delighted to find myself in the fresh air.
July 14. — A very hot day. Thermometer 89
degrees at four o'clock. After dinner Talbot came
in, and we went to walk. He is an excellent young-
man. You would be amused to hear him and King
rejoicing at the chance they shall have when they go
home, having seen a census for 1830 for Massa-
chusetts, giving fourteen thousand more females than
males ! They think they will have their pick. It's-
rather desperate, I think.
July 19. — Mr. S. called this morning, introduced
by Mr. Bull ; quite an interesting youth and a good
muster * of an American. He is one of the Boston
aristocrats, and perhaps would not speak to us at.
home. However, they are very gracious here, and
very polite. He and Mr. B. dined with us.
22d. — Our party for the water proposed for to-
day. V. came for us about half-past five, and we
went down to his house, and waited till about six, and.
* Specimen or pattern. — Ed,
lOI
then went off. We had a most delightful party of
about a dozen. The night could not have been more
perfect, — still water, and just wind enough to move us
steadily through it. Had a band of music, and every-
thing good to eat and drink. We anchored for tea,
and with a delightful breeze reached Macao about
I A.M., — rather late hours, but several of the party
wished then that we were six miles out. The town
felt like a furnace when we came on shore, after
enjo)ang the pure sea breeze. By the bye, we came
on shore in a sampan rowed by two Chinese girls.
As Wood says in his "Sketches of China," "These
boats are manned by a brace of Chinese ladies."
August 4. — A budget of letters arrived for me
about two. I have seen accounts of the great
\ "revivals" in the papers. I cannot say, my dear
Xj sister, that they give me as much pleasure as they do
some people. I think it is generally too great an
excitement, that it is apt to vanish like the dew. There
are many, in my opinion, who, after having felt the
power of the Spirit as they term it, and made a pro-
fession of their faith, are too apt to think the work
done. But I pray that it may leave lasting effects on
the minds of all. Our little Willy seems now quite
impressed. I hope it will last ; and, if he so early
tastes the goodness of God, he will be a happy as
well as a good man.
^th. — The guns have been firing all day, the bells
ringing, and the flags flying at half-mast, mourning
for the old Queen (of Portugal) who died two years
ago. They never move here until they receive
official notice.
I02
\oth. — This evening finished " The Water Witch,"
the last forty pages the only part worth reading.
Went to a dinner party at the Company's, a very
pleasant party, but I cannot say I enjoyed it much,
as I was obliged to carry into effect some new and
good resolutions, — which was very hard, and cost me
a pang then, and almost a sleepless night. Poor V. !
^<^ I've had to cut him, — not from any inclination of my
own, but to satisfy the people. They will talk so.
How I should like to be within speaking distance of
you, my sis, that I might tell you all my little
troubles !
August 13. — A pleasant morning, for a great
rarity. The direct ships are arriving almost every
day now, and bringing the faces we saw on our ar-
rival. Went to Casilha's Bay, and admired the view.
Sturgis and Sullivan, two wild Bostonians, joined us.
It was as much as my dignity could do to keep them
in order. They appeared to be trying to see which
could make the prettiest speeches. I laughed at
them, just to let them know that I did not swallow it
all, otherwise think I should have let it pass by in si-
lent contempt. I have got to be such a matter-of-
fact personage that this stuff annoys me. However,
they were only in fun ; but I did not happen to be in
a funny humor. Mr. Alexander showed me his
sister's miniature to-night. How much I wished I
could show him yours ! He, poor fellow, idolizes this
sister, and, like myself, was never separated from her
before. I always encourage these young chaps in
talking of home or their sisters, for they are too apt.
I03
unless their affections are deeply rooted there, to
become indifferent. It shows a good disposition
in them when they speak affectionately of their
brothers and sisters.
August 1 5. — Had a letter from Uncle this morn-
ing, who says that Mr. Shillaber is in Batavia, and
his sister Caroline with him. Only think ! one of my
schoolmates. I got up from the breakfast table and
despatched a letter to her instantly via Singapore.
It seems good to hear that there is one of my young
acquaintances so near. I shall now indulge a hope
of going to Batavia. How much I should like travel-
ling in Java ! Rather an unpleasant situation there
for a young lady, I should think.
I "jth. — Had another letter from Mr. S. to-day,
urging Aunt L. to spend one monsoon in Java. She
means to send for Caroline to come here. How
happy I should be to have her ! and I hope we shall
one of these days.
About six Mr. V. came in, and I said all I had to
say to him, and now I hope I shall be plagued no
more. He stayed about an hour, — as long as he
dared, he said.
September ^th. — Sunday morning again, and what
has become of the last week .' It makes me tremble
when I ask myself how much better am I than the
week before. What knowledge have I gained, or how
have I improved the time .' A frightful answer for
the past week, I am sure, for I must confess, without
hesitation, that it has all been wasted. I have read
scarce any. I have been vexed and annoyed with
I04
trifles and events that I could not control, and per-
haps have been led to judge wrongly of those who
appear friendly, and perhaps have made some harsh
observations. Oh, dear suds ! how prone we are to
be led away by the feelings of the moment, when, if
reason were called to our aid, we should save our-
selves many a pang ! I often ask myself why I was
born, and for what purpose was I sent into the
world. I am tired of doing nothing. Would that I
could be placed in some scene of action where I
could do good to some one ! But there, prosing
enough for this morning, I'm thinking.
{Monday. — I seem to have been in a sad state
yesterday morning, but I feel better now.)
September 17. — Took tea with Mrs. Grant. Mr.
H. came in about nine, and sang his farewell song,
bade us good-night, and left for Canton. A very
quiet party, nevertheless several mighty things oc-
curred, which will only be written upon the tablets
of the memory. Every day I exclaim. What a funny
world this is, and what funny people there are in it !
You may laugh at the idea of seeing anything of the
world in Macao, but, I assure you, we see an infinite
variety of characters.
September 18. — This morning was spent in self-
examination, to see if by any means I could think
myself worthy to approach the altar, and in remem-
brance of Our Saviour commune with his Christian
disciples. Oh, my dear sister, would that I could
meet with you and those that are dear to me, with
those that I trust are far worthier disciples than any
los
that we find in this distant and irreligious world !
How I long to hear from you all, to know what prog-
ress you make in a religious life, to know if the
effects of that great revival are lasting or whether it
was a momentary excitement ! I rather dread these
general excitements, my dear, but I pray that their
effect may remain.
20th. — I shall have a summons to breakfast in a
minute and a half. The coolies and Nancy are danc-
ing about our rooms now, clearing up. I daresay it
would seem very odd to you to see two men coming
to clear up and sweep your room, and such sweep-
ing ! " A lick and a promise." They cannot imag-
ine the use of doiag the same thing every day.
They say : " Suppose make clean to-day, all same
dirty to-morrow. What for so fashion clean ? " They
think it a great waste of labor. However, they are
pretty well drilled now, and know what they must
do. It has become a habit.
September 23. — A typhoon threatens this morn-
ing. The wind is blowing a gale. Oh, dear suds !
what a stormy day ! The wind increased till about
two, when the tide coming in made the sea quite
tremendous. We could see it from our windows
washing over the tops of the houses on the quay.
It has completely destroyed the Praya Grande,
rooted up ten-foot pieces of granite, and thrown
them into the halls of the houses. A little boat was
anchored out in front of us. At last, they cut their
cables, thinking it was their only chance, and let her
drive. It was a dreadful sight. It seemed impos-
io6
sible that she could live in such a sea. We watched
her till it seemed as though with the next wave she
must dash on to the Point. I have since heard that
with the assistance of Captain W. the men were all
saved. The boat was completely dashed to pieces.
September 24. — Nothing but a scene of destruc-
tion this morning. Our veranda is quite unroofed,
our mats all gone. Where is the quay.? Gone,
completely demolished ! Houses without roofs, a
large piece taken quite out of the Company's, from
the roof to the ground, and immense masses of gran-
ite thrown up. Several Chinese houses at the end
of the quay quite levelled, the Pena church much
damaged. On the other side, on the point near the
Franciscan church, lies a large fishing-boat, a com-
plete wreck. Out in the roads is the hull of a large
ship that only a few days since I saw come in with
her towering masts filled with canvas. Now they are
levelled to the hull, not a stick left standing. This
is what meets our eye ; but, alas ! I fear that it is
not all. I hear that during the gale masts of ships
with numbers of men clinging to them were float-
ing about, the men calling for assistance, but the
ships could give them none. I am afraid we shall
hear of much more damage.
September 30. — A dreadfully rainy day. The rain
ceased about dark, but the wind began to blow, and
we feared another typhoon. The Chinese call it
" the Typhoon's wife." However, we went to Mr. L.'s
this evening, and danced till after twelve. I cannot
say I felt happy, for I received a note just before
I07
I left that made me quite miserable ; but I danced
every dance, notwithstanding.
October i . — Replied this morning to my note of
last evening, which cost me a sigh and many tears.
Not but I think it right to do as I did, but I can-
not bear to be unkind, and I fear it will be thought
so. But it cannot be helped, — there must be an end.
After dinner I went to see Mrs. A., then to Mrs.
T.'s. There I met Mr. V., the one my note was sent
to. He was civil, but I could see a change in his
manners. Poor soul, I am sorry for him !
3</. — Seven gentlemen, including Mr. V., called
this morning to say adieu. (The Factory leave to-
night for Canton.) Poor V. was barely civil to me.
Oh, dear, if one could only explain one's feelings and
motives ! At five Uncle left us for Canton. I went
to see Mrs. A., having heard she was not well, and,
when I came home, found a note in answer to mine of
Saturday. It occupied three pages of fine writing,
describing me as the most unkind creature in the
world." I wrote a short note in return, asking for
a few moments' conversation with him, but it only
reached him just as he was sitting down to dinner at
G.'s at seven o'clock, and they all left for Canton
directly after dinner. But not till he had written
a kind note, dated ten o'clock. I referred him to
Uncle, if he could not see me. He trusts we shall
meet under more auspicious circumstances. I think
we both feel happier.
October 6. — This morning I was sitting in my own
room when Assow (one of the Chinese servants)
io8
came to me. He said : " Miss Haya, Company's
butler wanchy see you. I have talky he master have
go Canton ; but he say no wanchy see master, wanchy
see that lady called Miss L." I went into the draw-
ing-room, and told Assow to ask him up. To my
astonishment, he came and handed me a letter which
Mr. V. had requested him to deliver in person. (Not
very important.)
October 13. — Read "Paul and Virginia" in French
to-day, and worked on my rose-colored gingham dress.
Resolved that I would endeavor not to grumble any
more. We have got into a dreadful habit, or I have,
of complaining. It is the fashion here, but I have
resolved to-night to be out of fashion, for it is wicked
when we have so many blessings to repine because
we have not more. Ungrateful creatures !
I ^th. — Had a long and important letter from
Uncle, deciding a case. Spent the evening at Mrs.
T.'s. My reflections before I went to bed were not
pleasant. I am sorry to say that I find out every
day how deceitful people may be in this world. I
hardly know, my dear sis, whether all the experience
I have had this last year will be for my good or not.
It has been bought with much pain, and I must say
my opinion of human nature has been much lowered
by it. It requires much patience and submission to
get along in this place. You would be startled if I
could relate to you many of the scenes I have wit-
nessed. Do not think this has anything to do with
Mrs. T. She is a woman of the strictest principles
and excellent feelings. If I am not deceived in her
too, I think she will be the friend, after all.
I09
2^h. — Had a letter from Uncle to-day, saying that
Mr. Shillaber and his sister had left Java for Manila
and Canton. She, poor girl, was quite ill. I long
to have her come here. I should be so happy to do
all I could to make her comfortable. A ship is a
dreadful place when one is ill.
October 27. — ^Went to Captain W.'s this evening.
Mrs. T. had the kindness to dress my hair for me.
Wore white lace over white satin. I danced seven
quadrilles, and got home at one, quite tired out. Was
introduced to several gentlemen from the sloop of
war. One youth looked so astonished when I told
him I was from America. He seemed to wonder I was
not a savage, or at least I thought so. I was quite
amused with this person.
2()th. — Mr. Millet came in after church, and en-
tertained us with the history of his travels in Java
and the wonderful parts of the island that he visited.
Speaking of the fruits, the mangosteen is thought the
most delicious fruit in the world, he says, and he
limited himself to a hundred a day, which he could
eat without the least harm or feeling at all cloyed.
I wish I could impart to you all he told us, — of the
fountains of mud thrown up into the air, of the
splendor of a volcano, and the wonderful plain of fire.
He says that this spot of ground about ten feet by
five will immediately burn a piece of paper or any-
thing else that comes near it. You can see a sort of
gas coming out of the ground and rising to the height
of five or six inches. In the night it looks quite
brilliant. It is held sacred by the natives. He says
no
Java is the most perfect country to travel in. At the
place where he stayed for two months the tempera-
ture only varied from 75 degrees to 80 degrees, which
is quite perfect. How I should like to travel there !
November 3. — A rainy day. Mr. Bradford spent
an hour with me, and we talked politics. He
brought me his sister's letter, giving the scandal
of Washington, the real cause of the dissolution of
the cabinet. It seems there was a laay at the bot-
tom of it.
lyth. — Mr. V. in this morning. I had a long tite-d,-
tite with him. He spoke in the highest terms of
Uncle. Rode on horseback after dianer. V. joined
our party. I was sorry, because it will make a fuss
in Canton.
December 12. — My dear sister, my book is now
drawing to a close, and it has been sadly neglected.
Caroline Shillaber arrived on the 7th, and I received
a large package from home by the " Franklin " at the
same time, the only two things worthy of note that
have happened since the last date, I believe. I send
you this book, my dear sister, hoping it may interest
you ; but I hardly dare flatter myself that it will. I
have no more books like those I have sent, shall have
to take to Chinese paper, I suspect. I have nothing
new to tell you, except that I ride horseback every
day, and like it much.
(From a letter.) Caroline and I get along finely
together. Her health is very good, and she is a
sensible and well-informed girl, really an uncommon
girl. She is only about nineteen, and has the quick-
Ill
est perception and the best judgment of any girl I
ever saw. She has a quick temper, but good sense
enough to control it, and a pair of piercing black
eyes which keep the gentlemen at a goodly distance,
though those who know her generally like her much,
at least any she takes a fancy to, which is not every
one.
December 15. — This must be my last date, and I
must close my book and send it off. I find it very
pleasant having a companion, I can assure you ; but
I cannot make a walker of her. She has been so
used to a carriage of late that walking fatigues her,
and I must confess it requires a year's practice to
run over these rough paths and hills. I have be-
come quite celebrated in that way, for I ' go over the
hills as I should over a level.
Well, my dear sis, wishing you a Merry Christmas
and a Happy New Year, and all the best blessings of
Heaven, I shall close this book, seal it up, and trust
it to the waves. If it serve to show you that your
sister, though absent, is still the faithful one she was,
it will answer my purpose. Love to all.
From your ever affectionate sister,
Harriet.
BOOK IV.
MACAO, FEB. I TO JULY 3 I, 1 832.
February i. — And now, my dear sister, I can have
a little more conversation with you, as my dear
Uncle has furnished me with another book. As
usual, I make no promises that it shall be more
entertaining or useful than the last; but it shall
contain a. faithful account of the way I pass my
time, and perhaps sometimes a few observations on
what I have been reading, etc. At best it cannot
be very amusing, for one day almost certifies an-
other. [A curious expression used frequently in
this journal. — Ed.'\
3(3?. — Went to the barrier, where Mr. W. joined
us. He began talking at one o'clock, and kept it
up till ten, with scarcely a response, except a laugh,
from the rest of the party !
6th. — Received a note about half -past two, which
ran thus : —
The humble petition of W. W. W.
This sheweth :
That the petitioner humbly solicits the pleasure of carrying
arms with Miss L. this afternoon, and the petitioner would
ever humbly pray, etc.
I answered it in due form, and had a very pleas-
ant walk with the petitioner. He is a young man
of splendid talents, and can be excessively agree-
able.
"3
Jth. — Messrs. W., G., I., and B. took tea with
us. I read a little Spanish with Mr. Ibar, and had
a pleasant evening. Mr. W. and Mr. G. started for
Canton about eleven, with a head wind. When
Caroline and I were sitting cozing over the fire
after they had all departed, she disclosed to me a
secret, which so discomposed my nerves that I did
not sleep till near four. I was, however, much en-
tertained, as C. began to talk in her sleep, upon
which I had a very funny dialogue with her. At
last my shouts of laughter, which I could contain
no longer, awoke her.
\2th. — A cold, dismal day. A note from Mr.
W. to-day with some caricatures. Met Dr. Col-
lege at Mrs. T. 's, to whom I made sundry com-
plaints, and prescribed for myself some bark, which
he said he would send me, kind creature that he is.
He said he must say I did not look so beautiful as
I used to. In fact, I am looking more like a tallow
candle than anything else ; but I told him, if he did
not restore the roses, I would not forgive him so
ungallant a speech. [My mother's complexion was
so brilliant in her youth that some of the gentlemen,
who believed in an interesting pallor for "elegant
females," used to say to her, "Really, Miss L.,
you are positively in rude health. ' ' — Ed. ]
February 17. — Gloomy, cold, and rainy weather.
Walked after dinner with Uncle, Mrs. D., and Mr.
B. Just as we got on to the beach, we were joined
by Mr. V., who had the impertinence to offer his
arm. Oh, dear! well, my politeness, I fear, will
114
have to suffer a shock yet ; for I will be rude, if
words politely given and looks are not enough.
Hyyah ! I will not walk with him ! Excuse this
soliloquy, but my thoughts went on to the paper
unconsciously.
i^th. — We had a long discussion on romance this
morning with Mr. B. and Dr. College, who is the
most matter-of-fact person in the world.
. . . Find by the help of Peruvian bark, which I
take twice a day (at the expense of horrid contor-
tions of my visage), that I am regaining my color
and strength, and consequently my spirits ; for I am
convinced that, unless one is well, they cannot have
good spirits, — in this place, at any rate.
February 25. — Another year of your life has
passed, my dear sis, and with this day commences
your twenty-fourth year, I think. If you are not
married soon, you will get into the old maid list.
We are both of us growing old. Well, you know,
and it is almost useless for me to say, that my best
and kindest wishes for your happiness ever attend
you, and that all the felicity this world affords may
be yours, is the sincere prayer of your absent sister.
Perfect happiness is not a resident on earth, so do
not expect it. I flatter myself I am quite a philos-
opher. . . . Spent part of the afternoon with Mrs. T.
I would I were near enough to you to tell you a
thousand things that daily annoy me and destroy my
comfort. I think you would hardly recognize me
as your heedless and wild sister ; for I have become
so tamed, so thoughtful, that I astonish myself.
[Nevertheless, her future husband's brother, who
did not know her till after her return from China,
said of her in a reminiscent mood, "My, but she was
a lively one ! " — Ed. ] I suppose it is age, in a meas-
ure. I have learned thoroughly to bear and forbear,
and will recommend myself as a good wife for a
quick and high-tempered man. I think I should
manage him beautifully !
March 6. — Mr. Ibar came in this morning, and
read Spanish with us. Says I pronounce very well.
We read one of Moratin's comedies. Very amusing
and well written. Called "La Escuela de los Mari-
dos. " The style is elegant, and for delicacy far
exceeds most English comedies. In fact, there was
not an idea in the whole that would rouse a blush in
the most fastidious. V. came in after dinner, and
wanted us to walk; but I told him we should not
walk. So we lost our own walk, for we had fully
intended to go. We were very anxious to go as
soon as he went away, but we were influenced by
Aunt L. 's prudence, and now I am glad we were.
There is nothing like having a steady person to con-
duct one. Many an error she has saved me from.
\-i)th. — Dr. College in this morning. Stayed two
hours. He is a "darling. " The best Englishman
I ever saw. He is truly good at heart. I believe
there is no nonsense about him. Went to the R. 's
in the evening. I wore my pink gauze over white
satin, Caroline blue satin under white lace, and
Aunty purple silk. A very large party. Danced
all the evening. The chief of my amusement was
\/
1 16
tormenting Mr. H., a demure, steady, serious-look-
ing fellow, but handsome and very gentlemanly.
Never was known to dance. At Mrs. Grant's I
made a "dead set " at him, and asked him to dance
a quadrille with me, which he declined doing. He
got well roasted for it, but he was incorrigible. He
said he was a wretch, and never deserved to be for-
given, and was ready to do any penance.
March 19. — Rainy morning. Messrs. H. and
W. in. We domesticated them. Caroline and I
were drawing; and they spent half the morning with
us, cutting our pencils and waiting upon us. It is
very pleasant, I assure you, to have them drop in so.
2.0th. — Walked with W., who took tea with us,
and at eight left for the (Canton) boat. This even-
ing a note from Ibar, saying the " Gen. Hamil-
ton ' ' has arrived, having on board Captain and Mrs.
McCondray. Hyyah ! it does not take long to
"catch a wife." Only about a year since he left,
and here he is back again with his sposa. I long
to hear whom he has married, and all the news,
which I hope is good. Expect this will set some of
the other bachelors on tiptoe.
22d. — After dinner we had handed to, us our
packet of letters per "Gen. Hamilton." I was.
delighted, I need hardly say, and happy to hear you
were all well as late as October. I am quite en-
couraged about writing in my journal, now you tell
me it interests you. Suspect I shall be more "co-
pious " than ever. A little praise sometimes does
an immense deal of good. Your description of
117
getting home after three months' absence pleased
me much. What will it be when I get home after
five years !
Although my letters made me happy in a degree,
yet I was quite ripe for a good cry. However, I
shed but few tears, and concluded it was better to
laugh than cry. So Caroline and I soon found a
subject, and we kept it up till nearly twelve. We
have several capital subjects in Canton for a joke,
and we expend all our wit upon them when we are
so inclined.
March 28. — Read French aloud to C. this morn-
ing. A translation from Cervantes by Florian of
his "Galatee, " extremely sickening, being full of
lovesick swains, who are ten times more silly
than lovesick damsels. Threw it by in disgust,
and took up the far more rational and interesting
work of Washington Irving, which is written with
his usual elegance and drollery. He seems to have
a great partiality for old-fashioned words, which he
draws in in a very funny way, — may be called
quaint.
2()th. — Our morning reading soon interrupted by
old Millet, a stiff old bachelor, who is conceited in
the extreme, and fancies he must be right and every
one else wrong, of course; but, to give the d — 1
his due, he has been very obliging and kind to us.
Soon after came in a bundle of books, notes, etc.,
from W., which amused, petrified, and astonished
the addressed, and left them in doubt whether the
youth had taken leave of his senses or not. Sent
some poetry, too !
ii8
loth. — Mr. Ibar came in, and we abused our be-
loved President Jackson and his whole cabinet.
Find from I. that it was known all over Macao
that I ate lobster salad at Mrs. D. 'son the 27th,
and I suppose in Canton, too, ere this. Have just
returned from walking, and C. is setting Aunty
into convulsions, telling her of our capers. You
may remember how I used to rave about a cer-
tain doctor at home. Well, there is another doc-
tor here, — parfait amour! We met him on the
Campo on horseback. We stopped by mutual con-
sent, chatted, petted the horse (instead of his mas-
ter), and made him promise to call to-morrow to see
Aunt L., as she is not very well. However that
may be, we shall have the call. Aunty says we
shall not go out; and we say, if Uncle does not
come down and take care of us, we will not behave.
V. spent the evening with us, and we teased Aunt
L. to give us a ball. She has half consented.
April 3. — Mr. I. came to read Spanish to us this
evening ; and just as we commenced we were inter-
rupted by Captain Little, just from the Sandwich
Islands. Every one gives sad accounts of the mis-
sionaries there. I have heretofore endeavored not
to listen to them, thinking they were prejudiced;
but this Captain L. I should depend upon. He
says the natives are being converted, from the
simple and, as it were, innocent life that God in
His mercy intended them to lead, to idleness, drunk-
enness, and treachery and deceit of all kinds.
They (the missionaries) have treated a little band
119
of Catholics there as no Christians certainly had
any right to treat their fellow-beings. He says
the accounts they send home are very incorrect, and
so it goes.
April i). — This morning C. and I adorned our-
selves to pay some visits. First called on Mrs.
W., who "had a litty sick, and no could see."
Then on Mrs. G., who also "had a litty sick."
The influenza seems to be travelling through Macao,
and very severe in some cases.
?>th. — This evening a Captain Whitney was
ushered in, a brother of Uncle's old friend, J. W.
Aunty had gone out, so I felt myself bound, as a
dutiful niece, to entertain him till her return. I
began the acquaintance with sundry sage questions
and remarks upon the weather, contradicting him
now and then for the sake of conversation, till
in about half an hour we were good friends; and
before Aunt L. came home we had discussed the
merits of China, Manila, Java, Bengal, Lima, Val-
paraiso, the Sandwich Islands, and the missionaries,
who, I am sorry to say, do not win either the respect
or love of their fellow-men, or, at least, their coun-
trymen. No one that comes from the Islands speaks
well of them, though for my part I make great
allowances. We passed a very pleasant evening,
and gained considerable information respecting the
manners and customs of different nations. I could
not help audibly wishing that I was a man, that I
could take up my bundle and go where I pleased.
Felt half inclined to fall in love with some captain
120
or supercargo, and put it in the agreement that I
should go wherever I wished or wherever he did.
I do hate this dependent system !
April g. — This morning sent out invitations for
a party that Aunt L. intends giving on Wednesday.
Received two annuals, a present from Mr. W.,
with his compliments, — so ceremonious it alarms
me. Oh, dear, what animals men are! They are
certainly incomprehensible. I do think I have had
some odd specimens to deal with. When I can tell
you, my dear sis, all the funny bits I have in store
for a tite-d-tite in "our" little chamber, you will
laugh and wonder. Now I am sitting scribbling'
here, waiting for the hour to arrive when I may
dress for Mrs. Daniell's, for at half -past eight we
are to go. Is it not absurd to introduce London
hours into Macao.'
^ wth. — Busy as a bee all day, making prepara-
tions for our party. Had everything turned out of
"my room to make a supper-room of it, because it
opens into the drawing-room and is quite magnifi-
cent. Got everything elegant and in good order,
but was tired enough before the company came.
Never mind that, however, must dance all night.
At eight we were all adorned and ready. Aunt L.
wore a China gauze over white satin, C. pink sero-
phane over white, and my ladyship blue crape over
white satin. Our hair was dressed with natural
flowers that some youths sent us for that purpose.
Ibar was master of ceremonies. He said he was
not well, but for the honor of Spain he must do his
121
best, and he made everything very agreeable. We
had Mrs. D. ' s piano, and Mr. and Mrs. P. played
and sang beautifully at intervals. Had the guitar,
too, and four Portuguese musicians, to the grinding
of whose fiddles we danced. I danced every dance,
and when the party broke up, about half-past one,
I could have danced as much more. T had got just
enough excited to forget my fatigue. We had a
handsome supper, and everything in style, I assure
you. We mustered about forty, — four Ameri-
can ladies, English, Spanish, Portuguese, French,
Swedes, Scotch, and I'm sure I don't know what
others. We made the Scotchman dance a reel, and
I joined in myself.
April 23, Easter. — At the church of San Jos6
the altar is dressed in black, and no light from
heaven is seen, till suddenly the black is withdrawn,
and flowers drop from above, and the joyful tidings
of the Resurrection are made known. I must say
the Catholics are much more strict in their outward
observances of religion than any others, but I can-
not say how far the heart is concerned. However,
it is not for us to judge. How few there are of any
sect who act up to what they know to be the duty of
a Christian! Went to church this morning, and
the sacrament was administered. I hope my thoughts
and prayers were directed aright.
April 24. — A very hot day. Went to the factory
about nine, and danced all the evening. Was very
much fatigued. I felt in wretched spirits, and
must confess that though it was a very brilliant and
122
gay party I enjoyed it but little. Not one there
that I cared about pleasing. Do you understand
that feeling.' I do not suppose you can, as when
you go to parties you always have the one you love
there. There was one person at this party, too,
who will not behave as I wish him to. He is most
unmanageable. '^,~ .., . . ,
$oi/i. — A melancholy affair I heard of the other
day has just been made public, and what do you
think was very near taking place.' A duel, yes,
a duel in China, in this little family, as it were.
The two unhappy editors [Mr. W., of the Courier,
and Mr. K. , of the Register, both of Canton. — Ed.\
have been sparring for a long time. It was begun by
the Register, and the Courier, having all the ability
and talent on his side, was able to drive the Regis-
ter completely from his ground. The latter (find-
ing he was nearly beaten in argument) thought to put
the other down by treating him with "silent con-
tempt, ' ' upon which the editor of the , Courier made
some remarks which caused Mr. K. to call on Mr.
W. and demand an apology, which Mr. W. refused
to make unless Mr. K. would do the same to him ;
but no, nothing would do but an "unqualified apol-
ogy." Whereupon, having refused this, Mr. W.
received, and immediately accepted, a challenge,
and, as his privilege, appointed time and place.
Mr. K. made divers objections to fighting in Can-
ton, and finally went off to Lintin, where he has
stayed till this time, and Mr. W. is honorably
exonerated from the duel. Everybody says that he
123
has behaved like a gentleman, and Mr. K. has not.
Much as I hate duelling, and much as I think it
should be shamed and put down, I do think there
are some cases in which a man must fight, in the
present state of society. This is the talk of the
place now, as you may suppose. As it did not end
seriously, it makes some fun.
May I. — Spent a very pleasant evening at Mrs.
P. 's. Two young Calves there, just from Paris,
real French in appearance, manners, everything.
They gave us some specimens of the Galopade, the
new dance. It is very horrid, I think, — at least I
should be very sorry to be obliged to dance it.
After dinner we all had to sit down and sew over
our gloves for the evening ; for you must know we
can never put on a pair here without having first
sewed every stitch of them, which is very trying.
May ^. — Mr. Ibar and Mr. H. in this morning,
talking over last night's party at the Company's.
Felt stupid enough, as I generally do. I say it is
the reaction after excitement, but C. will insist that
I did not laugh all the evening. Can you believe
that I, the greatest giggler in the world, could exist
a whole evening without laughing.? Just before
dinner commenced "The Enthusiast," by Miss
Jewsbury. Very beautifully written. The young
Enthusiast is a great genius, and from her childhood
wishes for fame. Poor thing, she has her wish, to
her heart's content, but in possession finds fame an
empty bauble, dearly purchased and unsatisfactory
in the extreme. There are a great many fine senti-
124
ments expressed, and many feelings I have often
had myself ; but I cannot say that my thoughts and
wishes lead to that point, — ^^fame. The character is
much like Caroline's, I think. Had a letter from
Mr. W., with four lead-pencils, and his statement
of the late affair, which I may perhaps send you.
The pencils, he says, are what Mr. Chinnery would
call "positive black butter. " This same Chinnery
is a droll genius.
May 5. — Came in from our walk and had a large
packet of letters handed to me by Aunt L. , who
said Captain Roundy was somewhere. I did not
stop to hear where, but rushed to my own room for
scissors and a light. Saw a letter from Captain R.
first, in which he said, " I send your sister's minia-
ture ! ' ' Think of my having a resemblance of you
in my hand, my dearest sister, and not opening it
first! Never mind. C. says, "Now do be moder-
ate! " I endeavored to be; and at last I extricated
it from its snug bed of cotton, where, with your
own dear hands, you had placed it. I unclasped it.
The first look did not satisfy me. I saw no resem-
blance to what I fancied my dear sister. I looked
again, and caught it. The tears came in showers
then, for I saw the same dear face ; and now I have
looked and looked till I think it a good likeness.
Yes, it is you, my dear. I have kissed it again and
again ; but at first it looked to me dead, and even
now I long to make you smile upon me. You look
so triste, and in the night so pale. Still, the more
I look, the better I like it. Aunt and Caroline
125
think it like. I laid it by to read my letters, but
ever and anon my eyes wandered to the picture. It
looks as Miss Ward [their old schoolmistress in
Salem. — Ed."] said hers did, "as though she was
looking at some refractory young nymph in the school-
room " ; but it is so delightful to see anything like
you ! On the whole, I am satisfied, though I wish I
could make you laugh a bit. That sedate phiz of
yours always makes people think you a great deal
more thoughtful than your sister, when, in fact, you
are not a bit. Have read my letters, and thank God
for His watchful care over you all. To hear that
you are still all alive and well is a great comfort.
I have left your picture on the drawing-room table,
and long to have daylight come, that I may see it to
better advantage. Now I must bid you good-night,
my dearest.
May 6. — Rushed out of bed the moment I awoke,
much to the amusement of C, and laid hold of my
picture, hoping I should find it still more like; but
there is the same look in the day. I do not think
it so good-looking as you are, my dear. It is much
too grave, even for you, and the head has a cant on
one side, which makes it look as though you had a
stiff neck. Who painted it.? I don't believe he
talked with you, did he .' I am persuaded one great
duty of the painter is to keep the sitter in conversa-
tion, that the expression of the countenance may be
caught.
14^/2. — This morning proposed a party to the
Lappa. The party, or some of it, assembled at our
126
house at half-past three. The "King and Queen "
were detained by a visit from a mandarin. Aunt L.
said, "Well, I hope Mrs. D. will give the manda-
rin his congd quickly, and not keep us waiting."
Whereupon a lady said, "Do they always give them
conjee f" (which is a sort of starch, often used here
for food.) I shouted at once, but upon second
thoughts sobered my face, and rushed on to the ter-
race, where C. joined me, quite ready to add her
laugh to mine.
We had a long but very pleasant walk on the
Lappa, though rather rough and hilly; but the hills
were so green and the scenery so varied that our
travellers told us we might fancy ourselves now in
the highlands of Scotland and then in the beautiful
scenery of Wales. The springs of water on this
island are delicious, and a clear stream was running
by our side most of the time. Now and then we
came to a fall over the rocks, which I instantly bid
my imagination picture to me as the falls of Niag-
ara in my own dear country, — a stretch of imagina-
tion, to be sure, but that we can afford now and then.
We found many beautiful flowers. The weather
was very pleasant, as the sun was obscured, but no
one was sorry, I assure you, on ascending the last
hill, to discover in a little valley a table hand-
somely set for twenty-six people. A beautiful
stream was running at one side, which was recom-
mended to me as a looking-glass. We all dined
well, and then had to descend, to get over the worst
of the walk before dark. This was the only draw-
127
back, that we had to hurry too much. We sat down
at the foot of the hill, a stream of pure water run-
ning at our feet, the full moon shining clear over-
head. Altogether delightful and romantic, and
some of the gentlemen sang, and very well, too. I
was chosen captain of that half of the party. The
plodding part had made straight for the boats. We
had a most delightful pull home. The moon was
so bright and the water so smooth that to prolong
the time we went round the Point, and landed at the
Praya Grande. Mr. Ibar gave us an amusing ac-
count of his adventures, and his gallantry to one of
the ladies of the party. In some parts of our walk
we had to go through paddy-fields. There is gener-
ally a ridge hardly a foot wide to divide them, and
this place, in the dusk of the evening, unless one
takes precious heed to their steps, is rather danger-
ous to walk upon, especially as it is often worn
away. Mr. Ibar says one poor lady fell into two
paddy-fields at once, so you may judge of her situa-
tion. There she was, seated on the ridge like a
man on horseback, and up to her ankles in mud.
To hear this told with all the gravity of a Spaniard
was enough to make one laugh, and laugh we did.
He said, to rescue her from her unpleasant situation,
he jumped into one field, and, covering himself with
mud up to his knees, he extricated her, and was
much pleased with himself for his gallantry. A
moment after I had heard a cry of "Mrs. R. in the
paddy ! ' ' One of my preux chevaliers rushed into
the paddy beside me, for what purpose I then had
128
no idea; but it seems he saw tiie sad situation of
Mrs. R., and determined I should not share her fate.
May 1 8. — Perhaps you know that my twenty-
second year expired last night of a natural death.
Only think how old I am growing! Upon my word,
I am fast getting into the detestable list of old
maids ! Never mind, it will be all the same a hun-
dred years hence. To-day I commence my twenty-
third year. I wonder what will be my feelings at
the close of another. Shall I go on in the same
quiet way, or will circumstances have entirely
changed? Shall I be as happy as now, or shall I
be miserable.' I sometimes wish to look into the
book of fate, although at the same moment aware
that it is in infinite wisdom that it is concealed.
Oh that I could only know the consequences of cer-
tain actions, which would soon be performed if it
were not for doubt! Well may we say with "The
Nonchalant," "Doubt is the Alpha and Omega of
our existence ' ' ; but one thing is certain, the more
I think, the more I am involved in perplexities.
Why have we desires for knowledge so far beyond
our possibilities of gratification ? Is this only the
first stage of our existence, and are we to go on
progressively from one world to another till we reach
the perfection of knowledge? Or what are we to
be in another world ? These questions I want an-
swered ; but where am I to go for the reply ? We
know not, must be the answer to all. All may think,
conjecture, and suppose ; but none can know, and the
more we know the more ignorant we feel. The
129
more we search, the deeper are the doubts, the more
incomprehensible is our existence, the world, and
the Maker, the Great First Cause, the Ruler and
Governor of all.
May 20. — Read "Decision" (by the author of
"Father Clement") aloud to Caroline. Do not
much like it. True religion is, I think, deep,
silent, spreading a mildness, contentment, and
cheerfulness over all our actions, subduing our tem-
per, correcting our evil passions and propensities,
the still small voice growing with our growth and
strengthening with our strength. I do not think we
are to give up the pleasures of life, but only to
enjoy them with moderation.
22^. — Have just had your picture in my hand,
my dear sister. I wish you would smile ; but you
look more tnste, if possible, than you did three
years ago to-day. Just three to-morrow since we
left our dear home, to tempt the mighty deep and
seek a home in foreign lands. I pray Heaven three
years more may not pass before I revisit those shores !
Majf 31. — Lieutenant Pinkham and Mr. B. of the
"Potomac " and Mr. Warrener dined with us. The
lieutenant was the best of the three in appearance.
For goodness of heart and morals, sincerity, etc., I
should say the schoolmaster would bear the palm;
for he is about as green and unsophisticated as need
be. He is a genuine Yankee, caught in the coun-
try, most probably. He wandered through Mr. B. 's
house, returning ever and anon to express his de-
light at everything. He says he had often heard of
130
"Eastern magnificence," but he had no idea of it
before. (Now you must know that Mr. B. 's house
is one of the plainest in the place, very comfortable,
but no elegance about it.) He is a very pious
young man, it is said, but knows little of the wick-
edness of the world. We have several good jokes
at his expense, but I shall not note them, for my
sister would say I was getting scandalous; Well, I
confess I am a very naughty girl, but I am sure in
my heart I have not a spark of ill-will. You know
I always liked a good joke. Mr. B. is a Salemite,
and as vulgar, fat, and greasy a muster as I should
wish to see.
June 15. — Caroline sick this morning. We sent
for Dr. College, and he spent two hours with us.
Promised each of us a cashmere shawl and a lace
veil when we were married. He is as good a man
as there is going, I believe. Read a review this
afternoon. I try in every way to gain some infor-
mation, but I am sometimes discouraged. It is so
hard to learn when one is old. I wonder whether
the knowledge we gain here will be of any use to
us in another world. I think it must ; for what is
the use of acquiring knowledge if it is to be buried
with us in the grave? I should like to know if we
go on from world to world, still progressing in
knowledge. Sometimes I think it must be so, and
then — I am lost in wonder, and must stop; for who
knows anything? Raining torrents, sheets, floods,
all night, with heavy thunder and lightning.
Seventeen inches of rain, I am told, in forty hours,
which is quite tremendous.
131
June 17. — Went to church this morning. A
great many there. Being Trinity Sunday, we had a
sermon suited to the occasion. Some good senti-
ments were expressed, but most of it I could not
comprehend. ^
Dr. C. and Mr. S. in after church. Had a long
chat with the former, who says he has never heard
any one speak ill of me since I have been in the
place. Do you not think that a compliment? But
coming from him, I believe it. I suppose they
think I am a good-natured, harmless crittur! But
what matters it.' I care not. After dinner went
in my chair to the Pefia, where I had an hour and a
half of delightful meditation. The scene all round
was fitted to inspire calm and tranquil thought. I
hope I am not to pass many more years in this unin-
teresting place, — not but that there is more tranquil-
lity here than, perhaps, I shall find anywhere else;
but it is a sort of quiet that does not suit my mind
or disposition. I am restless. I want something to
rouse me from this seeming lethargy. The present
is a blank. The future is all uncertainty. The past
has some bright spots. But, alas! not much that
is satisfactory to look back upon. Would to God
I could withdraw the past two years from my life !
I sometimes construct schemes for happiness, and
think with real pleasure of my return; and can
there be any mistake in the joy, the delight, I shall
experience in again being with my dear parents,
brothers, and sisters, by whom I know I am loved,
in whom I never can be deceived .''
132
June 29. — Reading some Salem papers all the
morning. It seems so natural to see the same old
names; quite carries me home. I see they are
going to make people fly between Boston and Salem
by means of railroads. Oh, the march of intellect I
March of bodies, too, double-quick time, I think.
July 5. — Spent the evening at the Company's.
A dinner party, and stupid enough. Not one there
I would have walked across the room to speak to.
Is it not delightful .' Walked in the veranda with
Mr. King, talked of one thing and another, argued
whether it were better to read novels and live in an
ideal world or to devote our minds to base lucre ! I
raved considerable, talked of the days of chivalry,
and wished that the brave and chivalrous spirits of
the past could be put into the men of this age, with-
out all the horrors of those times. From that I got
to my own uselessness. I would not include the
whole sex; but I told him I was a mere cypher, etc.
He said I drew a sad picture, and looked very grave.
I told him I might make him look grave, but it was,
nevertheless, true; that I had the will to do more
good, but lacked the opportunity. He said he dif-
fered from me. He thought we had the ability
and the chances, but not the will. I told him I
thought I was sure of the will, but I might be mis-
taken. I suspect he thinks I am a strange fish, but
I can't help it. He seemed astonished. I hear
poor V. has been very sick, and very much alarmed,
but not without reason. I hear he makes a great
many good resolves, which I hope he will keep, and-
133
that he may be able to say, "It is good for him that
he has been afflicted." I fear there is great need
for reformation in him' as well as others.
[About this time there are many references in the
journal to the attentions of a certain Mr. J. P. S.
and to the jokes made upon them. "On the 15th
we went to dine with him," Miss L. writes, "his
birthday. Forty, he says, — but never mind. He
has a magnificent house, and everything pleasant in
it. He is very agreeable.'' The girls called him
"Uncle Jem," and he seems to have been a daily
visitor. Some days later we find the record of a
walk to the Pena, when "Uncle Jem was very agree-
able." Underlined again. J Wonder if he is as
good as he seems. Oh, dear! I am dreadfully
suspicious [but justly so, it proved], unhappily
so for my own comfort; but, oh, this heartless,
deceitful world ! People laugh and look quizzical at
the old man. Not that his age is at all objection-
able to me. I believe I am a great hypocrite, for
I treat people delightfully when I ought to frown
upon them, and all for why.' Because I am a girl,
and must not put on airs. O ye married ones !
The privileges that are yours for having taken unto
yourselves helpmates ! You may command, entreat,
obey, if you please. You can make a little world
of your own, and live within yourselves. Well, un-
happy spinsters ! I say throw off all this unfeeling
general attention, centre it all in one, and then
there will be some chance for your happiness !
July 13. — Came in from the terrace directly after
134
dinner, when Caroline was taken with fever and
ague, I never saw anything so sudden; she was
quite cold, and shook like a leaf, then followed
violent fever. We sent for Dr. College, who gave
her some quinine. I sat alone upon the terrace all
the evening, musing. Had the blues. Had a good
crying spell, and feel better.
I4^A — Caroline better. Dr. C. came in, and he
made me both laugh and talk (though the others had
failed to do either). He made me a curious propo-
sal, which I do not intend to avail myself of. I
do not mean he offered himself. He is a queer
creature, but every one likes him. I hardly under-
stood his drift this morning. If the conversation
could have been written, it would have made you
laugh.
July i6. — Languid, listless, and lazy to-day. Its
events have been unusual, and excited feelings of
many kinds, but of too private a nature for this
book, — events that might under other circumstances
have affected my remaining life, but now I trust
not.
i^th. — This morning had an unpleasant duty to
perform. How much one has to do at times con-
trary to one's inclination! I have had to appear
selfish and hard-hearted to-day, and yet, — but then
— Oh, my dear sister, that I were with you !
July 1 8. — Dr. College comes in every day, and
chats with us. C. is not yet quite well. Mr. P.
spent the evening with us, and amused us very
much, giving us an account of all his loves, about
135
twenty of them, and he is but nineteen! Had a
note from Blight, saying Mr. W. was in Macao, —
his health the plea; but I suspect it is all fudge.
They do anything to get down here now and then.
He called to see us to-day, looking very well.
2isi. — Mrs. M., Blight, and W. took tea with us.
I had a delightful evening, talking seriously with
Mr. W. He is a pleasant creature, and one of my
best friends, so sensible, so witty, and so amusing.
24^(^. — W. and I had a long discussion this even-
ing upon metaphysics. Spent a delightful evening
talking like rational beings, — a thing we do not
often have a chance of doing here; but W. knows
everything, and is a most delightful companion.
Has great talents.
2^i/i. — A lovely evening, and we all went to the
Pefia. Mr. W. and I talked, and Caroline and
Blight went into a pine forest, if you can fancy such
a thing in Macao. I felt in very good spirits; but
all at once such a change came over me like a flash
of lightning, and I could not raise my spirits again
all the evening. 'Tis a very odd and most unhappy
feeling, but I cannot shake it off. I have it often,
and cannot account for it in any way. It sometimes
seizes me when in my gayest humor, and I know no
cause or reason why. I have been dreadfully stupid
all the evening, and puzzled and perplexed, so, as it
is now after twelve, I will go to bed, and endeavor
to sleep off this depression.
July 27. — Nothing new to-day, my dear sister,
that I can put in this book. Were I near you, I
136
could a tale unfold. This is a strange world. I
wonder why it is some persons love us for whom we
care not a straw, and, when we are dying almost for
something to rest our affections upon, the right one
will not come along !
$isi. — Half a dozen people dropped in and took
tea with us this evening. A very pleasant party.
Had a singular conversation with Mr. W. , which I
may have occasion to reflect upon many times in the
course of my life. Well, the recollection will al-
ways be pleasant. He is a youth worth talking
with, — high and noble feelings, good principles,
and first-rate sense, with extensive information. A
friend to be proud of, for he would be an ornament
to any society.
Now here I am on the last page of another book.
I hope you may find this more interesting than the
others, but, if not, excuse it, and, if there are any
sentiments expressed that are not pleasing, forgive
me, and believe ever yours,
Harriet.
BOOK V.
MACAO, AUG. I, 1832, TO MARCH 18, I833.
August I. — What an authoress I am! My fifth
book! Fancy them given to the public! O tem-
pora, O mores, what an amalgamation ! How
many more shall I write in China? I hope not
many, or it will be the same thing over and over
again. I must change the scene, or my readers will
withdraw their attention, I fear, for the writer
grows lazy and inactive for want of stimulus and
something interesting to relate.
2d. — The "Union" left to-day at half -past
twelve for Canton, carrying Uncle, Mr. W., and
several other friends. There is a northerly wind,
which feels like fire upon one's face, the barometer
falling, and every symptom of a typhoon ; but they
will go, and think they shall get there before it
comes.
3if. — Blowing a regular typhoon. You may
judge how anxious we were about Uncle. A dismal
day enough, and then to think how many poor creat-
ures will suffer! I do dread these gales. Fortu-
nately, we heard about dark that Uncle was seen
above Lintin yesterday, so we made ourselves easy
for the night. Went to bed early, for it blew
dreadfully, and I felt half sea-sick, the house rocked
so. You will laugh, but the house really had an
138
unpleasant motion, and being entirely shut up on
every side was quite dreadful.
August 4. — Moderated this morning. Lost some
of our mats and tiles, but suffered no material dam-
age. Two gentlemen called this morning besides
V. , who says the damage in the inner harbor is very
great, and dead bodies are floating about in every
direction, ships driven on shore, houses unroofed,
some utterly destroyed, and everything horrid.
Everybody dreadfully anxious about the " Union."
<)th. — About ten Aunt had a letter from Uncle,
for which you may judge we were very thankful.
He despatched a boat as soon as he got on shore to
relieve our anxiety. They fortunately got inside
the river, but were excessively uncomfortable, and
arrived only yesterday morning. Had three anchors
down, and lost one. The gale was felt very much
in Canton.
^th. — Captain Dumaresq called this morning,
the captain of the "Martha." He lost a mast in
the gale. The "Don Quixote " returned dismasted.
The "Spartan "went out to sea the morning of the
gale, and picked up the crew of the "Fair Ameri-
can, ' ' — forty-four out of at least sixty, mostly Ma-
lays. She sank off the great Ladrones, was just
from Java, and went down before they could save
a shirt to their backs, — a narrow escape enough.
The losses and accidents are beyond count. Every
day we hear something new. There is hardly a
green tree or shrub to be seen about the place.
Everything looks as if a fire had passed over it.
139
August II. — After dinner had just made myself
comfortable on my couch when the boy brought me
your interesting letter, per "Louisa," enclosing the
very pretty card of the new firm. [Miss L.'s sis-
ter's fianc^ had gone into partnership with her
father. — Ed.^ I am delighted to hear you are so
happy and prospering. Your letter was quite satis-
factory. It carried me home at once; and I can
now imagine just how you live, what you talk about,
and how you look. I suspect you will begin to
think of getting married now. I shall hate to have
you do it, though, before I get' home.
August 13. — There was a procession from the
church this afternoon. An image of a female was
laid on a state bed, very richly dressed, and carried
round with banners, the Host, etc. I asked Josepha
what it was, but was quite shocked at her literal
translation from the Portuguese. She said "God's
mamma had died that day," and they were burying
her in efifigy. It is horrid.
Have just had a consu in Caroline's room. [Ap-
parently, an abbreviation of "consultation," and
used instead of "confab." — Ed.^ I always go and
sit down at her door to brush my hair, and there
we talk sometimes till one o'clock. We discussed
beauty and accomplishments to-night, and con-
cluded that sensible men looked for something
more than beauty in their wives, and for our own
comfort agreed that beauty gained a great deal of
admiration, but very little sincere love. Intellect
is the thing nowadays, however. How different
140
from the days of chivalry ! I'm sure we should feel
no interest in a hero now, let him be ever so gallant,
if he knew neither how to read nor write. But it's
half-past twelve, and I must e'en to bed.
August 1 6. — The direct ships in, and huge pack-
ets from England just coming ashore. I almost
wished myself an Englishwoman, that I might par-
ticipate in the general joy. Well, I saw, and re-
flected on what I saw, and came home and felt a sad
depression of spirits, arising from different causes.
Oh, what a trying world this is! I wish I could
ever know that what I do is right. I am in a
maze of perplexity. This has been an eventful day
indeed! [But she gives no reason why. — Ed.^
August i8. — Began Walter Scott's last novel.
Find it dry and uninteresting at the beginning. I
hear they paid him a splendid compliment in Italy
by giving him a masquerade ball, and confining their
dresses and characters entirely to his novels. I
hear a Mrs. Trollope has been ridiculing the man-
ners and customs of our good country tremendously.
Blight and Forbes spent the evening with us. I got
in high spirits.
22d. — This morning I was lying on my couch
reading, and the boy brought me an anonymous pro-
duction in the form of an acrostic, which, if you
will not call it vanity, I will copy for you. I sus-
pect who may be the author. He endeavored to
conceal his handwriting, but did not succeed.
(Afterwards heard that this foolish effusion was
written by a Mr. , of the "Don Quixote.")
HI
" There is a winning charm of gentle nature
O'er all thy being like a perfume thrown,
Making each beauty, both of mind and feature,
Inseparable, — not to be singly known.
Something there is that as an unseen power
Subdues the wonted current of our thought,
Leaving the heart all passive. But one hour
Of thy sweet converse, and the soul is fraught
With feelings of a cast, oh, too, too deeply wrought ! "
Soon after receiving this, I got a letter, which
put the verses out of my head.
August 26. — A "bevy of beaux" spent the even-
ing with us. I wish I could venture to take off
every one, and put them down in their true colors.
Oh, what a book I should have ! To note down all
the funny things said in this house, and the incon-
sistencies of men ! It would be as good as a play.
This summer has been the most amusing one I have
ever passed in Macao, — big with events! Since
their departure* Carrie and I have been thinking
what different ideas and feelings we have now from
those we had when we left home. A few years
makes some difference in our feelings, and we see
the same things in quite another light on an acquaint-
ance with the world. I often sigh from the bottom
of my heart to think I have become reconciled to
things of which the bare mention would once make
me shudder. Wicked, wicked world! Why were
we created? Now, my dear, good-night. There's
no use in thinking.
August 28. — This morning we sallied forth to
*Of the gentlemen, not the events. — Ed,
142
make some calls. Went, among other places, to
Mrs. P. 's. The mistress of "the Palace" was
agreeable, and her amiable son gave us a tune upon
the "accordion," a new instrument just come out;
dare say you have seen it. Rather pretty. — I am
plagued. Had a letter this morning, which I an-
swered short and sweet. Hope I shall have no
more from the same source.
September i. — The "Sylph" is in, seventeen
days from Calcutta, shortest passage ever known.
Brings accounts of lots of people coming here.
Fashionables, too, so our gay season will soon com-
mence. I don't like Calcutta people, though.
/They only abuse the place and make every one
dissatisfied. Mrs. Davis came in, and we had a
long talk about that Mrs. Trollope's book, which
all the English are crowing over. It is as much as
we can do to fight for our country and our refine-
ment. I believe the sole motive for publishing
this book is to put down the spirit of emigration to
the United States, and to drive the people to Can-
ada. Mrs. TroUope certainly writes with great
spirit, but her going over with Fanny Wright is
enough to show the class of people she visited. She
tells many truths, but much that is false, or, at
least, her facts are so embellished, or discolored,
that there is no such thing as recognizing them. I
will not pretend to say, nor do I believe, that there
is as much refinement in America as in England,
but I know there is decency and civility and ele-
gance and luxury, if not to the same extent as in
143
England. But they (the English) will have their
laugh, and they well may, if they will believe every
word that is written by every person who chooses to
wield the pen.
September 6. — Letter from home to-day, which
disturbs my peace, for it tells of the death of Caro-
line's mother. I have not yet told her, nor do I
intend to. She will probably have letters from her
brother to-morrow or next day, which will mention
it. Poor, dear girl, how she will feel it ! And yet
she has great firmness, and will bear it well, per-
haps; but it is an awful thing to lose a mother, and
so far away, too. Heaven forbid it should be my
lot ! I feel sad and sick at heart.
September "J. — C. got letters this morning from
her brother, but, as he says nothing of the sad event
of course I shall not mention it till I hear further.
Walked after dinner, and had a very pleasant consu
upon the hill with Mr. B. and Dumaresq. It was a
lovely evening, and we talked of love and matri-
mony, etc., in general, of flirtations, nunneries,
travellers, and stayers at home, foreign and Ameri-
can ladies, and, in fact, our subjects were very
various. B. is a great enthusiast, and fancies
woman to be all that is good and lovely. His an-
ticipations of happiness are very great, and his ex-
pectations of pleasure in this world exalted. Ah,
poor fellow ! I did not undeceive him, or forewarn
him that disappointments await him at every turn.
No, they will come soon enough.
October i. — Fine cool morning. Made Uncle a
144
pen-wiper, a very pretty muster. Went to walk
after dinner. It feels like autumn weather at
home, and we find our bonnets quite comfortable
now. We have not worn them before for some
months. You would think it very bold, I suppose,
to go walking about without bonnets, but it is ex-
ceedingly comfortable, I assure you. I put my new
cottage bonnet on to-day, and admire it very much.
The crown is rather small, but the ribbon is splen-
did. A gentleman told me he did not hear the ser-
mon yesterday, my bonnet attracted his attention
so much. He said it reminded him of home.
About ten V. came in, and bid us good-by. He
leaves for England next month. It is not pleasant
to say farewell to any one, particularly one whom
you have been intimate with. He leaves Macao
to-morrow morning.
October 6. — Had a pleasant trip to the Lappa this
afternoon, and only one adventure. In crossing a
ridge, my foot slipped, and I went half-way up to
one knee in thick mud. With an effort I pulled it
out, but in such a condition ! There was no sign of
my silk stocking or my purple silk shoe. I thought
I had better dip it in the brook, and the cooly who
was carrying our provisions seemed to be of the
same mind, for he put down his baskets and jugs,
came down to the stream, and with the greatest
monchalance possible took up my foot and washed
all the mud nicely off with a cloth. He brought
the shoe and stocking to light, but left me in a
dripping state, I assure you. This was a piece of
I4S
gallantry I should never have suspected a Chinese to
be guilty of. We have come to the conclusion this
evening that he was some lover in disguise, for gal-
lantry and kindness are not understood by the Chi-
nese in general.
October 13. — Sat with Aunt L. all the morning,
and had a very interesting conversation with her.
She is a sterling woman, and the better she is
known the more she must be respected. I never
saw any one who would bear close inspection so
well, or who was so strict and conscientious in
the performance of duty. Aunt L. had a letter
from Canton, of which you will undoubtedly hear
more anon. It took up my attention till two,
when I finished the rest of the morning writing
to Uncle. In the evening we all got letters per
"Tremont." Nothing new but the disgraceful time
in Congress.
October 17. — ^This morning I finished a dress, and
spent an hour with Mrs. Macondray, who says there
is an order issued to take away all Chinese women-
servants from the foreigners. As they are generally
wet-nurses, this is a very cruel thing. Oh, these
mandarins are too barbarous ! The moment they
see a fellow-creature making money, they begin to
"squeeze" him, as it is called. No doubt this
order is to extort money from the nurses.
\%th. — At home all day, reading history. I do
love history better than any kind of reading, and I
should much sooner go to sleep over a novel than a
history. In the evening we were escorted by H.
146
and S. to the opera, where we heard the opera of
"Cinderella" very well performed in Spanish.
The music was very good, the scenery pretty, and
the acting very amusing. Cinderella was not very
beautiful, being a boy of very sombre hue. In her
home dress she reminded me of Harriet G. The
company was chiefly Portuguese, and no beauty
among them. The opera was wholly under the di-
rection of Mr. Pavia, who deserves great credit.
He wished to let his townswomen know what an
opera was, and, having travelled all over Europe,
and possessing great musical talent himself, he
undertook the task, and succeeded very well. We
really were very much amused. Got home about
half-past twelve. There was a farce after the opera,
which was rather tedious.
October 20. — D. just in from Lintin. It is cur-
rently reported there and elsewhere that I am en-
gaged to D. and Caroline to S., and all for why?
Because they have been seen walking with us a few
evenings. Poor creatures ! I wonder any gentle-
man dares to walk with us, for report engages us to
every one ; and, if they happen to break off and not
walk for a day or two, why then they are juwaubed,
or, in plain English, refused. We are quite in-
dependent of such reports now, and only laugh at
them. We warn new-comers of their danger, and
find out if there is any one to be made jealous at
home ; for these reports do not rest here, but take
wings to America, and often rebound.
22d. — Got letters from Uncle this morning.
147
which discomposed me for the day. After dinner,
however, I received letters from home, per "Pan-
ama, ' ' which turned my thoughts in another chan-
nel. Thankful to hear you are still all well.
October 23. — Went into Aunt L. 's room, and had
a long talk. Sat there from ten till one, settling
the affairs of the nation. I don't know that I ever
felt more wretched. Had a letter from Canton
while I sat there. What a world of trials and dis-
appointments this is ! Money seems to be the one
thing needful, the sine qua non of existence. Oh,
romance, where dost thou dwell .' Our dearest and
f9ndest hopes are often dashed for want of the filthy
lucre, our fairest schemes defeated, our plans
broken, and even our affections have sometimes to
be sacrificed for the want of it ! [The Mr. W. so
often referred to as so clever and so charming must
be the person whose addresses were not received
favorably by the wise uncle, who knew him to be a
man of irascible temper, little steadiness of charac-
ter, and with neither fortune nor prospects, with
nothing, in fact, but his brilliant talents to recom-
mend him. Miss L. fully acquiesced in the wisdom
of her uncle's decision later on, though it was hard
to bear at the time. We can realize, however, that
the blow was not altogether a crushing one, when
we find her on the evening after this most melan-
choly morning amusing herself with the incipient
mustache of one of their visitors. — Ed.'\
We had a stupid evening. My whole amusement
was watching one of our beaux and making fun of
148
him, for he is nursing a pair of horrid mustachios.*'
His face is white and sickly. He is about as
large as a knitting-needle, and the most conceited
puppy you ever saw. To make himself look fero-
cious, he lets the light hair grow all over his upper
lip,, to which he has to pay great attention, else he
stands a chance of chewing it. It is quite amusing
to see him poke it on one side, that he may find
room for his food. He caught me several times
looking at his manoeuvres and almost laughing. He
almost hated me before, and he will quite now, I
suppose. He goes by the name of "Don Whisker-
ando."
October 27. — Walked over to Mrs. M. 's, and
while there Mr. M. came from Lintin to take his
wife up, and urged me to go with them. I asked
Aunt, who thought it a good opportunity; and, as I
longed to change the scene and get out of Macao for
a while, I consented to go very gladly. Wrote a
long letter to Uncle on special business, which I
shall probably write you in a letter.
2Zth. — Got up at five o'clock this morning. The
party for Lintin breakfasted with us at six, and we
got on board the ' ' Martha, ' ' anchored in the roads,
at eight. The "Martha" is a fine little ship, and
reminded me very much of the "Sumatra," and our
departure from home, excepting the feelings. It
was a beautiful Sunday morning, just like the one
when we left our own dear shores. There was very
little motion, but nevertheless I was so unromantic
* At this time the New England prejudice against a mustache or beard was veiy
strong. — Ed.
149
as to be sea-sick. Towards night Mrs. M., being
very delicate, went below, leaving as triste a trio
on deck as you ever saw. My head ached most
dreadfully, and there sat B., H., and my ladyship,
all as deeply wrapped in our own meditations as we
were in our cloaks, and not a word was spoken for
some time. The breeze strengthened, and at eight
o'clock we anchored at Lintin. We were whipped
into the long-boat, and were soon put aboard the
beautiful bark "Lintin." I do not mean by
"whipping," my dear sis, that they took a rope's
end to us ; but we were put in a chair and hoisted
over the side, the most genteel way of getting there.
The "Lintin" has a fine round-house on deck, and
excellent accommodations. The Peak of Lintin
was close beside us, and about twenty-three ships
around us. A very pretty sight, I assure you.
October 2g. — After dinner we went on board the
"Red Rover. " I expect to be quite a connoisseur in
ships before I leave here. A lovely evening, and a
beautiful moon. Captains Mackay and Lockwood
brought their little band of music, which sounded
very well, and we danced a quadrille upon deck, and
the gentlemen waltzed.
^oth. — Went on shore with our party in the after-
noon, and had a pleasant walk. The Island of Lin-
tin is rather barren, though there are some fertile
spots, and the rice plantations on the level ground
look very f-retty. We went through the village, and
saw women, pigs, and children all eating and living
together. The great, fat, dirty pigs have the entree
ISO
of all the houses, to say nothing of fowls, etc. Saw
the stuff they make grass-cloth of being prepared.
It is a large stalk, which they dry and beat till the
fibres all separate.
November i. — Captain Rowland of the "Florida' '
dined with us. Went on shore after dinner, and
walked half-way up the Peak with him. Poor man !
he was quite exhausted. Sailors are poor walkers
on shore. They have so little practice. A most
lovely evening. About ten received letters from
Macao, and one from Canton, of which you will
probably know the purport one of these days. It
made me triste, I assure you, and disturbed my
night's repose. There was some advice in Aunty's
letter which is very hard to follow, for it goes much
against my inclination, but I must follow it, I
believe, and I hope it will prove for my good.
Nevertheless, it is very trying to the feelings.
November 3. — After dinner we were whipped into
the long-boat, and pulled round among the ships.
The sun had just set, and the moon appeared to have
borrowed an unusual share of his light. My star
was shining brightly above us, the waters were still,
and it seemed impossible that a cloud could ever
appear to obscure the brightness. It was too lovely.
I was lost in thought, and longed to soar somewhere
— where I cannot. It seems at such times as
though one ought to be able to divide the material
from the immaterial and not be chained to so small
a sphere ! However, the material must be attended
to, and gets much more attention generally than the
151
immaterial, for, in spite of myself, soon after we
got back to the "Lintin," I sat myself down to a
huge bowl of bread and milk, which relished ex-
ceedingly. Then I was weighed, and I find this
mortal body weighs one hundred and fifteen pounds,
which is seven pounds more than I ever knew my-
self to weigh. But it is the first time I have been
weighed for five years.
November 9. — Have had my breakfast, and here
I am in the cabin, leaning out of the transom, look-
ing ever and anon upon the blue waters and the
forest of ships around us, and endeavoring to think
what has happened during the last week. The
incidents are few, though many things happen that
I do not put in my journal, partly from laziness and
partly from prudence.
November 13. — A lovely morning. A smug-
gling boat alongside, such a sight you never saw.
They muster generally about a hundred men, and
when alongside they generally take the opportunity
to ' ' catchy chow-chow ' ' (to eat) ; and they form in
little groups of four or five men each, round five or
six little messes of fish and oysters cooked in divers
ways. Each man has his bowl of rice in one hand
and his chop-sticks in the other, which they dip
into the public bowl, and thence into their mouths
(having none of the delicate ideas of more refined
people), and then shovel as much rice into their
mouths as they can possibly crowd in. They sit on
their feet, and are dirty and ugly. They are gener-
ally of the lowest class, and as to morals I will not
IS2
say. If they have a moment's leisure, it is spent in
gambling; and I generally see them, as soon as they
have crammed down their food, with either cards or
dominos, and playing with all the interest possible.
It is a curious sight to watch the expressions of
their faces, — if by chance they have any expression
at all other than one of avarice and love of gain.
You may see one lying on the side of the boat smok-
ing his long pipe, with apparent indifference to
everything in this world and the next. I often wish
to ask them what they do think or if they think at
all. Was half-inclined to be melancholy and senti-
mental to-night, but thought it was not worth while,
so ate my bread and milk and commenced some
home letters. I think there is less variety here
than at Macao, no events. We lead a quiet and
steady life, and, indeed, I find it best suits my dis-
position of late. I am getting old and sedate; not
so fond of gayety as when all was bright and fair.
When I was young and unsophisticated in the ways
of the world, I was easily amused, and believed
all gold that glistened. [This blas^ philosopher
was then twenty-three years old ! — Ed. ]
November 19. — We were invited this morning to
go on board the Company's ship "Orwell," just an-
chored. We were delighted with her. She is
nearly as large as the frigate "Potomac." Her
accommodations are very fine, and such ships may
well be called "floating castles. " There is a great
deal of style and etiquette to be observed on board.
Mr. M., who is going home in her, retires this year
IS3
with a fortune, I suppose, dearly earned by twenty
years' residence in this country. He has grown old
and gray-headed in the service, and with his fixed
habits he is no doubt unfitted for living happily
and comfortably in any country but this. He leaves
China without a sigh of regret, however. We stayed
on board an hour and a half, had a nice tiffin,
and returned to our little bark, which is very com-
fortable, though a mite compared to the "Orwell."
20ik. — This morning a circular was issued for a
party to ascend Lintin Peak, about fifteen to eigh-
teen hundred feet above the sea. At one o'clock we
started from the ship, seven gentlemen and myself,
with about fifteen attendants carrying provisions,
and a band of music. We proceeded up the hill.
The sun was rather hot, and the roads rough and
steep, but we reached the top of the Peak at half-
past two. I have the honor of being the first lady
that has reached the summit. I could have walked
a good deal farther. We acquired very good appe-
tites on our way up, and were glad to shelter our-
selves from the sun behind an immense mass of
granite, with which the summit is crowned, and,
assembling round a table formed by Nature for the
purpose, drew forth the contents of our baskets and
had quite a sumptuous repast, the music playing at
the same time. Altogether we should have made a
most interesting group. Having finished our meal,
we made preparations for descending, after having
admired the view, which is very extensive. This
island, as well as all the others with which these
154
seas abound, is excessively barren and capable of
very little cultivation. We descended on the op-
posite side, where the grass was very long. Some
of the gentlemen sat down and slid from the top to
the bottom of the first ridge. About half-way down
we came to a little cottage, just big enough to hold
the ancient Darby and Joan who were busying
themselves about the door. Their faithful dog and
some fowls seemed to compose their worldly stock,
with a stool and a mat. They kindly invited us to
enter their humble dwelling and eat some rice,
which is the one thing needful here. We politely
declined, and the old woman of about seventy
handed me a stool, and I sat down under the shade
of a tree to rest myself. The old woman seemed
much pleased with me, and my hands especially
attracted her attention. She saw that my gloves
were ripped, and she looked at them with an eye
of pity. As they were flesh-colored, I fancied she
thought the flesh itself was torn. When I pulled
the glove off, her astonishment was very great.
She chattered something in Chinese, and tried to
put my glove on, but could not "succeed. She then
wanted to put her hand upon my face, to see if that
were covered in the same way, but I did not like to
have her touch me, and made signs to that effect.
She showed me her hands, that I might see how
clean they were, but I gave her my gloves, and bid
her good-by. I moralized upon her situation, and
concluded that she was just as happy as if she had
been rolling in luxury and refinement.
We arrived safely at the ship about six, after
having had a delightful time. The gentlemen of
our party took tea with us, and, having the band,
there was dancing, and, more from bravado than
anything else, I stood up in a quadrille. But for
once my strength was gone. I sneaked away to the
cabin below, and reposed my weary limbs upon a
couch.
November 21. — Before I was out of my cabin this
morning, Mr. M. came to my door and said he
would take me to Macao to-day if I would like to
go (instead of to-morrow, Thursday). So I packed
up my duds, ate my breakfast, bid Mrs. M. adieu,
and in less than an hour was on board the "Flora,"
a fine little schooner, and on my way to Macao.
Being so long an inhabitant of a floating habitation,
I was not at all sick, and enjoyed our sail much.
Sat on deck all the time, and felt a little stiff from
yesterday's walk. About two we arrived in Macao,
and I found Aunty and Caroline well, and delighted
to see me. It is really worth while to go away for
a time for the pleasure of returning. Our house
looks so magnificent after my being cribbed up in
a cabin that I do nothing but look round in amaze-
ment at its vastness. Had a great deal to do, put-
ting my things to rights, and talking, too. Aunt L.
says everything smells of cockroaches, and I should
not wonder, for there were many in my cabin. I
never went into it without having to sing out to the
steward to come and kill two or three and sometimes
more. So I just tumbled everything into the wash. .
iS6
November 24. — Had letters from Canton and Lin-
tin which disturbed my peace of mind, and obliged
me to act decidedly and against my inclination.
How often that is the case !
November 26. — Sent off a lot of home letters
and another journal. In the evening we got into an
argument about " fatalism," Caroline against me and
Aunt L. half inclined to be. None of us convinced.
I went to my room and read till twelve. Having
Beattie on Truth upon my table, I took it up and ex-
actly agree with him upon the subject. If we are
not free agents or have not some power over our-
selves, how can we be accountable creatures ? And,
if we are not accountable creatures, why are we to be
rewarded or punished for our good or evil deeds 1
And, while I believe in a wise and good God, I must
believe we are free agents, and, although we cannot
always discover the justice of everything, yet we be-
lieve in it. But what can we know ? At least we
cannot decide.
2^th. — Caroline got letters from her brother this
morning, saying he had taken passage in the " Cow-
per," and may be expected at any minute. Went
out early after dinner. I never saw a more lovely
night, so clear, so purely bright. As a correspond-
ent of mine says, " We look upon the stars, flashing
and sparkling like 'a jewel in an Ethiop's ear,' and
sigh to think how much happier may be the tenants
of those distant spheres ; we long to leave this earth
to revel in the happiness of another, too often with-
out thinking that the star we gaze upon with such
IS7
inexpressible longing, instead of the habitation of the.
happy, may be only the prison of the condemned."
This was in one of his melancholy moods. Can you
guess my friend, my dear sis ? Would he could have
been with me to-night, he is so rich in ideas, and
so keenly alive to the beauties of nature ! He can
amuse, distract, and entertain ; he is gay with the
gay, and grave with the grave. In a mixed company
you would think him the greatest rattle that ever ex-
isted, but take him by himself, let him feel interested,
then he shines. Will it ever be my lot to be with
him ? I fear, — anxiety, hope, and fear are the pre-
dominating feelings now. To-morrow must bring me
a letter, then my fate may be decided. Well, what-
ever it is, I will bear it patiently. I have had ex-
amples of patience and fortitude before me, and I will
copy them in every situation.
November 30. — Wandered about in a very unsatis-
factory manner most of the forenoon ; my mind is in
such a state I cannot read, — in fact, I can do noth-
ing at all. My ideas all seem to have vanished,
my thoughts are all centred on one point just now.
Went to walk early after dinner, the sky so intensely
blue it seems as though we could see beyond the
stars. I cannot describe my feelings on such an
evening ; it appears to me that I must have the feel-
ings of a poet, though they will not come out in
words. No one can feel more inward delight than I
in looking at beautiful scenery on such an evening ; it
seems to lift me from earth and make me think of
heaven.
158
December 2. — This morning received the long-de-
sired letter from Canton. It was all I could wish,
but my mind was so much discomposed that I could
not go to church.
December 6. — This morning I received a large
music-box and a letter requesting my acceptance of
it from Mr. D. It made me quite wrathy, as he has
gone, and has left me no chance to return it till he
comes back. I wish he had it in his cabin. I was
admiring his disinterestedness this morning, but
Aunt L. and Caroline do not seem to think it de-
serves that name. Well, I dinna ken. I am no
great believer in disinterestedness myself !
December 7. — Some person or persons attempted
to get into our house last night, and took a very un-
pleasant method, too, for they burned the door half-
way up. They must have got over an immensely
high wall. Fortunately, the smell of the smoke be-
trayed them, but the thieves were not caught. We
were very glad they did not bum us up. As all the
gentlemen are in Canton, they would have had no op-
portunity to show their gallantry.
December 8. — A rainy, drizzly, cold, gloomy day,
spent as usual. Mrs. Underwood sent her cards,
P. P. C. to-night. I have kept my resolution this
year, and have hardly become acquainted with any of
the strangers. If you do get interested in them, the
pain of parting probably forever overbalances the
pleasure you receive from their society. So they
may come and go, and I will care not ; in fact, I
sometimes say I never will decidedly love another
1S9
person, male or female, but I daresay I shall, for I
have a strong propensity that way !
December i o. — Mr. Inglis called this morning. A
very pleasant man, but very much inclined to be sa-
tirical. He has seen a great deal of the world, trav-
elled all over Europe, America, and India, and, I
suspect, is a little bit disgusted. I think he has not
much respect for the fair sex ; thinks them very
pretty playthings, but not fit companions for lordly
man ! Ahem ! He was once desperately in love with
an American lady, a Bostonian, his first and last love !
He speaks highly of American ladies, but the ladies
in India he cannot abide, and, indeed, they are but
toys. They are designed by their parents, from child-
hood for the India market. They are taught to
dance, sing, and play, that is, they are taught to
tinkle upon some instrument, and are then fitted up
and sent out in ship-loads to be disposed of to the
highest bidder. You will perhaps think I am joking,
but it is a fact. From people who have lived in
India I have heard the most melancholy description
of such marriages, — more than half of them turn out
unhappily. The climate makes Englishwomen unfit
for anything, and they lead a listless, vain, and use-
less life. There are exceptions, of course, but this is
the general rule. A beautiful young woman has
just left here, who possesses great genius for music,
plays and sings divinely, has a good husband, and
one who dotes on her, but, alas ! with all her outward ,
beauty, who would envy her either that or her ac-
complishments to have the name she bears of being
i6o
a flirt and ten times worse than a flirt ! I was told
to-day that her husband was obliged to fight a duel
on her account in India, and there is now a gay
young gentleman with her who is her slave. 'Tis
strange that a woman who has a good husband, one
who is worthy of all her heart, cannot be satisfied.
To possess the greatest of earthly blessings and yet
to so abuse them !
December 14. — This morning Caroline was made
happy by the arrival of her brother, so long expected,
how I wished he were my brother, too ! It made me
long still more to see some one I loved, some one in
whom I feel interested. Though I was delighted to
have Caroline made so happy, yet I never felt more
wretched. Oh, Molly, you cannot know the feeling
of loneliness that comes over me at times. I some-
times feel that I should be happier with those who
cared nothing at all about me than not to have my
own. Well, patience ! I wonder how Job would have
behaved had he been sent to China ! But I will try
and exert myself ; I am ashamed of myself, I ought
to have more energy, and I will, so allons.
■22d. — Strange and incomprehensible ! The man
whom above all others I thought perfect, or rather
the one whom for the last three years I have thought
incapable of a dishonorable act, has sunk in my mind
to the level of the rest of his sex. And yet I sus-
pend judgment, for there must be some mistake, it
cannot be true. If it does prove so, I shall never
put faith in mortal man more. I cannot bear to be
mistaken in this person, who has been my model for
i6i
nobleness of character, and goodness of heart. It
cannot, it must not be. Yet every circumstance is
against him, every appearance condemns. We did
not walk, for all our feelings were absorbed in this
event, speculating, conjecturing, wondering, and com-
pletely ^gar^.
23^. — No light upon the subject until noon, when
the sun appeared from behind the clouds, and all was
cleared up. I thought it would prove so ; how care-
ful we ought to be in judging a person ! Here
ever)rthing was sacrificed to the highest principles of
duty. It was almost impossible to see through the
veil, but fortunately everything is cleared up, and now
we understand it all. It should teach us to be slow
in condemning.
2^th. — A year ago to-night we were about going
to the Church of San Jose. What a change a year
has made ! My friend Mrs. Cartwright was here
then, but I fear she has now gone to her long home.
Mr. v., who was also here, is on his way to England,
and then how our feelings have changed ! Now the
bells are ringing, and the people are again assembled,
saying mass and singing, and to-morrow will be a day
of rejoicing that Christ our Saviour was born.
December 2^. — A rainy, unpleasant day, nothing
pleasing or attractive about it. One thinks of the
happy family groups assembled round "the festive
board " to-day, and sighs for such a scene. Now I
hear the clock striking twelve, the witching time of
night, but I do not want to go to bed. I have just
left Carry's room. We have been anticipating the
l62
time when we shall be ancient spinsters,* having
become almost disgusted with the genus homo, and
almost determined to live a life of celibacy. We
""■^Were thinking of living together and doing all the
good we could. However, I think, if it is not Hob-
son's choice, I shall yet espouse some poor unfortu-
nate man, just to be the torment of somebody's life !
Decem.ber 26. — It seems I went to bed in a par-
ticularly Christian spirit last night, by the conclusion
of my last page. Terribly cold ! I do not like cold
weather in this country ; great barns of rooms, great
cracks under the doors, and floors that you can see
through ; the carpet does not seem to do much good.
It is so rainy now that we cannot get a walk, and our
limbs are almost stiff with the cold. It makes me
shudder at the thought of encountering our winters,
though I know you have more comforts at home.
The Chinamen all look as thick as they are long now,
they have so many clothes on. The Portuguese,
many of them, go to bed and lie there. Mr. Inglis
in this morning, giving us the history of several
widows who have been on here. Upon my word, I
do not wonder that men get disgusted with our sex,
they do behave so, particularly the ladies in India.
It is enough to sicken one of marriage, I think. I
sigh and groan in the spirit, as tint after tint of the
romance of my youthful days is obliged to become
extinct. Caroline and I sat over the coals till nearly
one again ; it seems like the ghost of last winter to
be sitting in the same place in the same way. At
this hour one's thoughts seem to flow more freely,
* Marginal Note. — March 20. How soon she has deserted me f
i63
and, if one has a congenial companion, it is very
pleasant. Have begun "Rob Roy," and compare
my friend Care to Di Vernon. Think in spirit and
independence she is very much like her, — in fact,
many traits of her character are similar. The
brother £md sister are very much alike.
December 30. — It's awful cold, and, though the
thermometer is only about 40 degrees, yet to our
feelings it seems nearer zero either because the
cold has come so suddenly upon us or because we
were so thoroughly heated last summer. Went to
Dr. Morrison's this morning, shivering and shaking.
Heard a very good sermon, requiring us to review the
past and make good resolutions for the future. May
I attend and remember! Another year has gone,
and again the question returns, am I any better than
at the close of the last .' Alas ! I am still in the bal-
ance that is found wanting, my account is always
against me. Mr. Shillaber (Caroline's brother) and
I had quite a philosophical discussion, such a one as
I hate, on subjects I never enter upon if I can help
it, for we end just as wise as when we commenced.
He reasons deeply and thinks deeply, which is dan-
gerous business, I think. And yet why was the
power of reasoning given us, if we were not to use it "i
Is it wrong for us to use that power to its full ex-
tent 1 And, if we do, where shall we find ourselves .-•
Who can answer even these simple questions }
Jan. I, 1833. — I must begin with the compliments
of the season. I suppose you are receiving your
bevy of beaux l^o-day with your cookies and wine.
164
How I should like to be there and share in the sport t
Our little Josepha went round this morning, with her
kind wishes, to the maidens of the family, rich hus-
bands and long life ; to the married, wealth. The
Caffres were all dressed in the most fantastic way, pa-
rading the streets, singing and enjoying themselves.
They seem the happiest creatures in existence;
animal pleasures alone constitute that happiness, how-
ever. I have just got thoroughly heated through,
and have left the drawing-room to Caroline and her
brother. It makes me almost envious, and I sigh
deeply for a brother, too, that is near me. I am al-
most heartsick of this kind of life, I dare not think
about it. I sigh and smile, and all say, " How com-
placent and serene you always look ! " I sometimes^
long to answer, —
" The ray that tips with gold the stream
Gilds not its depths below,"
but I do not wish any one to know how I feel and
the effort to conceal it is best for me. I should feel
better if I could look into the heart of one person, I
think; if I could but know the cause of certain ac-
tions. But, alas ! perhaps I shall never know, and
perhaps from misunderstanding I may be always re-
garded as heartless and deceitful.
January 3. — Took to my French grammar this
morning, and studied till I became thoroughly sick
and cross. Nothing disturbs my " serene " temper
more than a grammar. There I sat all the morning,
hammering verbs into my head, which seemed to re-
i6s
sist the pressure with unusual force. Oh ! if I had
children, all this should be drummed into them when
they were susceptible to such impressions. It is so
provoking, when I can take up any French book and
read it without difficulty, that I cannot conjugate a
verb without all this trouble. I got sad and triste,
perfectly dissatisfied with myself and my capabilities,
and think myself the most stupid of creatures. I
wonder that any one has any pleasure in my society.
Indeed, I do not believe they would for any length
of time, and I think I will never marry, lest my hus-
band should get sick of me. I am unfortunately
fond of gentlemen of sense, and could not abide one
wanting it. I cannot, therefore, marry a fool, and a
sensible man would soon be sick of me. Therefore I
think it would be most wise and sensible of me to
join the venerable class of spinsters. Now, my dear,
I know you will think verbs have a very bad effect.
C'est vrai, but they must be learned. After dinner
I read " Rob Roy," and, having finished it, I regained
my spirits in a great degree.
January 6. — Have been to church this morning,
my dear, and heard an excellent sermon read by Dr.
Morrison. The subject was that the chief end of
our existence was to do good, certainly not to enjoy,
for the trials and troubles we are subjected to in
every stage of life prove that. I thought his reasons
and arguments very good, but, if this is the purpose
of our existence, how few fulfil it ! . , . I know one
person here who does, and that is Mr. College. He
is continually going about doing good^ he makes
1 66
every one love him, he is so universally kind and
obliging, and exerts himself to make all happy who
come in his way. We call him "the sunbeam," for
everything smiles when he approaches. His greatest
pleasure is in doing good, and his face speaks the
goodness of his heart. ... I think Dr. Morrison is
right, and that we should be happy if we exercised
the best feelings of our nature. The fatalist will
say, what if other feelings overbalance these, then
what can we do ? I am not a fatalist, and believe
that, though we cannot control events, we can control
our own passions. If I did not believe this, how
could I believe in a wise, just, and benevolent God?
But there, I leave the subject.
January 8. — This morning I studied a little, and
then went to Chinnery's room. There is a great
attraction there now, a picture of my friend, which
I was strongly tempted to pocket. It is a perfect
likeness. I shall probably never see it again, as
it is going to America. Well, I do not know why
I should wish to, he is nothing to me.
A Dr. B. from Philadelphia took tea with us ; he
bowed and scraped like a Frenchman, talked, and
made himself very agreeable. After he was gone,
we began to think how different people who come
from the civilized world are, to residents here.
They talk so much that it quite fatigues us old resi-
dents, for here we get in the habit of saying only
what is necessary. It is quite dreadful, the stupid,
lazy habits we acquire. Caroline says that, when
she first came, she thought all the ladies were terri-
16/
bly stupid. The fact is, we lose interest in every-
thing. I am afraid I should be quite stunned at
home for the first month. I would consent to be
killed, however, if I could but get there ; how can I
endure two years more !
i^th. — Studied all the morning, a cold rainy day.
We have most intolerable gloomy weather now,
coals scarce, and wood bought by the catty, very
dear; what would you think at home of buying
wood by the pound?
20th. — Shall I say it is cold again ? Here I am,
sitting in the drawing-room on a little footstool in
front of the grate, one side is roasting, and the other
shivering with cold. C. has just come in, and
wants to know if you will invite her to your wed-
ding if she is in America, and if she may be brides-
maid.' When are you to be married, my dear.' I
should think you would be tired of courting, and
yet I know not how mother would do without you,
you dear little creature ! I suppose you are trusting
that I shall come home a venerable spinster, and be
just fit pour manager. The first is most probable,
but the second not, for, when I do come home, I sus-
pect you will condemn me as a drone, and turn me
out of the hive. I must confess I never desire to
see a kitchen again (you know I never had a pen-
chant for the place) , but, in any other way, that I can
make myself useful, I shall be most happy. I do
not think I shall ever be espoused, and besides there
is nothing gives me more real happiness than mak-
ing others happy, so that shall be my aim when I
i68
come home. If I cannot be a pattern of conjugal
felicity, I can be a model for the heretofore despised
class of old maids. After all, it makes very little
difference whether women are married or not. If
they are, ten to one they repent it, and, if not, they
are independent, and can do pretty much as they
please. After their hearts get callous, and their
feelings too often thrown back upon themselves, it
matters little whether they are married or not.
One should be very unsophisticated to marry, I
think. If they become old enough to look behind
the scenes, ten to one they never marry.
January 23. — This morning we made an alteration
in our system, we are going to have dinner late,
and walk before dinner. Breakfast at nine, tifiin
and a cup of tea at two, then at three go out to walk
and come back before sunset, and dine at six. This
is the plan for cold weather, and we like it very
well. Took up "Patronage" after breakfast, and
finished it. It's very interesting, and the best of
Miss Edgeworth's that I have read. There is a
great deal of talent displayed, some fine characters,
and some which give a very good idea of fashionable
life, which, for my own part, I never wish to know
except in novels. Wrote several letters, and in the
midst of writing received a soliloquy from a Bach-
elor who professes to have been jilted by his faith-
less . A droll affair, to be sure. It was ad-
dressed to "Mesdames H. L. & Co., at the Palace
of Sans Souci, Celestial Regions." In reply to
which we wrote a long note, but I do not think it
169
worth copying. The "tender passion" seems to
exhibit itself in the most wonderful manner in these
regions. It has afforded us much amusement, I am
sure.
January 28. — Received a letter from Mrs. M.
this morning by Captain L. who has just returned
from the Coast and the Sandwich Islands, and called
to see us this morning. He is a very handsome
man, only too thin. His face answers to Byron's
"Conrad," in "The Corsair," I think. He says
that reports reached the Islands and the Coast that
I was to be married to three or four people. I told
him I thought one quite enough. It is amusing to
find what a notorious person my ladyship is ; really
I ought to be very vain. He says my fame has
reached from pole to pole, and all, forsooth, because
I happen to be a spinster in a distant land. I
might have remained in America to the end of my
days, and never have been known beyond my own
fireside. And even now, should I take unto myself
a spouse, I should forthwith sink into insignificance.
Well, it is the fate of spinsters to be a subject of
speculation. I am almost sick of this notoriety,
and heartily wish I could see some one worthy of
being — I won't say worshipped, — but there is al-
ways something in every one to make me get sick
of them ! I fear I shall never be suited. I feel
that I am in a very "bad way," my dear, and am
afraid I shall be a misanthrope before long.
January 29. — Received a letter from a gentleman
in Canton, very interesting. He gave me his opin-
I70
ion of me and my character frankly and candidly,
told me some of my faults, and also my good quali-
ties. He was partly right,, I think, but no one
knows me so well as I do. I answered this letter at
once, and pointed out the causes of the faults men-
tioned. I returned my thanks, and hope I shall
endeavor to improve upon the hints.
February i. — Warm day, doors all open, and a
little rain. Mr. Sam S. in this morning, and
I played battledore with him. Mr. College came
in about two, and we had some rational conversa-
tion. He is a pleasant creature, so frank in his
manners that you cannot help liking him ; he is
thoroughly English, somewhat aristocratic, and fond
of old customs. The English resemble the Chinese
in this respect; even though their reason tells them
they are wrong, they stick to old habits. We talked
a little about Unitarianism. He is' prejudiced like
all others, without knowing at all what it is. To
me a creed seems a small part of our religion.
2d. — Felt miserable this morning; spent most of
it in the interesting employment of weeping. Had
a little misunderstanding, which I have at last hap-
pily settled, and it will be a lesson to me for the
future. How experienced I am becoming ! Well,
experience forms the character. I have been a most
thoughtless child, — have acted too much from im-
pulse all my life, now I am going upon reflection.
I see the error of my ways, and I will try to improve.
February^. — Mr. B. came in this morning, and
we played battledore. I was reading over your let-
171
ter last night, and find that you kept it up two thou-
sand times, which beats us all hollow, for our
battledores and birds * are constructions of the Chi-
nese, and the bird goes anyway but the right.
e,tk. — This morning Caroline, Mr. S., and I sal-
lied forth to see the world. We made the circuit of
Macao, C. 's first calls for some time, and besides
there is something brewing which will astonish the
public.
6tk. — To-day my friend Mr. College offered him-
self to my Caroline, and she has accepted him ; I
have given you his character before. She will make
him an excellent wife, there is strong affection on
both sides, and will, no doubt, be happiness. She
is capable of being just what she pleases, and I have
no doubt will be all that he can wish. They have
my best wishes, for if I cannot be happy myself I
have no objection to seeing others so, — indeed, I am
not so selfish as not to delight in the joy of my
friends. But, notwithstanding, it does make me
feel melancholy and more lonely than ever to see
every one having some one worthy of loving, and
poor I, no one. I seem doomed to this, and so I
must bear it patiently and seem happy, lest those
around should think me envious. Well, if I can't
■ do better, I'll do all I can to promote the happiness
of those near me. Perhaps my turn will come, but
I see nothing in the future worth living for, nothing
that I most wish for, that there is the least pros-
pect of my obtaining. I should like to shut myself
in my own room, and die a sort of temporary death,
*The word " shuttlecock" does not seem to have been in use at this time. — Ed.
1/2
till the time comes for us to leave this detested
place. *
We dined at home, and spent the evening in talk-
ing, and thinking of the electric shock the people
will have to-morrow. No one in the place, outside
of our own family, had an idea of such an event.
February 7. — Mr. Latimer came in this morning,
and I had the pleasure of electrifying him. His
astonishment was great, and I enjoyed it much.
College is beloved and respected by all, there is not
a dissenting voice. He is not a negative character,
liked because he does no harm, but positively be-
loved.
Latimer forthwith despatched a boat to Canton, to
set the news afloat there, which will no doubt sus-
pend all business for a time! The bachelors will
feel they have lost one of their most worthy fellows,
and the married men will rejoice at such a convert,
for he had foresworn matrimony, till Miss S. 's
charms overpowered his resolution. It would have
been a shame that such a man should not have mar-
ried, and happy must be the woman he marries !
Well, it will never do for me to go on at this rate,
or you will think I am in love with him myself,
but no; you must understand that I admire him,
and hope I know how to appreciate his character. I
feel for Caroline as a sister, and would be as glad
to see her happy as to be happy myself.
College came in while Latimer was here, and the
congratulations were very fine. L. is one of his
*You must not mind these azure spots in my book, they come and go. — MargiTial
note by the writer.
173
best friends. College appeared "shut up in meas-
ureless content," and looked perfectly complacent
and happy, as though he would say, "Let him laugh
who wins. ' ' A rival was thunderstruck this morn-
ing at the announcement.
Twelve o'clock, and I have just come into my
own room to give you a few of my thoughts. Do
you know, my dear sis, what it is to feel alone .■' It
is to be in a far-off land, separated from your kin,
in a place where the society is too small, the inter-
ests clashing, petty feuds existing, where the voice
of friendship is seldom heard, — in a word, where
all are strangers to each other.
Then here is my friend Caroline. In the first i
place she has a brother who idolizes her, who enters
into all her feelings, her wishes are laws, and not a
sigh escapes unnoticed, and now she is to be doubly
blessed in being permitted to marry the man of her
choice, and one who is worthy of her whole heart.
I would not deprive her of the smallest particle of
her happiness, but I cannot help feeling like one
" Who treads alone some banquet hall deserted,
Whose lights are fled, whose garlands dead.
And all but me departed."
That is, I feel as though I was the only one without
some one to feel with me and for me. I must still
be what I am, the receptacle of cold and unmeaning
compliments, the cypher — nay, worse, for a cypher
adds value to the other figures, and I do not, — a
girl who is the object of speculation and criticism,
174
a girl who is expected to walk in the steps of a
I chaperon, and because she does not happen to be
married has no right to give her opinion, and, in-
deed, is of no consequence. Yes, my dear, this is
to be alone. I have preached till my hand aches,
but I think I feel a little better, knowing that there
is one at an intolerable distance who will read this
with patience, and hoping that one of these days I
shall have the felicity of rejoining our own family
circle. That hope supports me now, and in those
days of happiness I shall look over this, perhaps,^
and wonder that I could ever have felt thus. I
must fight against these feelings, I must
'' Be resigned when ill betide,
Patient when favors are denied,
And pleased with favors given."
This is said to be wisdom's part, so I will try, but,
alas ! my nature is social and formed for sympathy,
and I cannot alter my nature.
February lo. — The first thing I heard this morn-
ing was Uncle's voice. He came quite unexpectedly,
and is looking pale and very thin, but says he feels
pretty well. Mr. College, Mr. S., Caroline, and I
all went to church this morning. C. walked be-
trothed, I told her. The English always think it
necessary to go to church before they do anything
else after any event, such as marriage, accotichement,
or the like. They have some odd prejudices, and
I think often "strain at a gnat and swallow a
camel. ' ' Spent the afternoon talking to Uncle, (it
I7S
does seem good to see him again) and reading him
one of Buckminster's excellent sermons, speculations
upon the future life. It agreed perfectly with what,
since I have reasoned at all, I have thought of a
future state, that is, that we go on "from one world
to another, gradually progressing. It cannot be, I
think, that any one leaves this world in a state fit
for perfect blessedness ; we are none of us perfect,
nor are any all evil, and I firmly believe that we
shall all be rewarded according to our deeds, and the
use we make of the talents committed to our charge
in this world.
February 12. — This morning I received very un-
expectedly a letter from my friend in Canton, to
which, after mature consideration, I replied as I
have told you by letter. Oh that I could look into
his heart, and see its workings ! I have become so
distrustful of words now, that the warmest expres-
sions fail to convince me.
The "Red Rover" brings thq news of the death
of the Due de Reichstadt,* so there will be no dan-
ger from him any more, — indeed, I believe he in-
herited nothing of his father's spirit. Uncle is
troubled with a racking cough, which I do not like.
He has had it for some time. He is obliged to go
up to Canton again to-morrow, a flying visit after an
absence of five months.
College came in this evening as usual, to bebe cha,
as the Portuguese say, and Aunt L. and I very saga-
ciously left the room, that is, we had sagacity
enough to suppose we should be more agreeable in
*Died at Vienna July 22, 1832. — Ed.
176
another one. Well, I hope they will be married
soon, for I do not like this turning out business.
February 17. — Walked along the quay after ser-
vice, and into the Franciscan church, a very neat,
pretty place, beautifully situated, as is also the
monastery attached to it. They were in the act of
filling up the grave of a person just consigned to
the dust. They always bury their dead in the
churches, and the manner seems to us very shock-
ing. The body is carried through the streets ex-
posed in the coffin, it is taken into the church and
put into the grave without the coffin, it is first
covered with quicklime, and then the earth is beaten
down hard upon it by the black boys. When the
flesh has decayed, the bones are sometimes taken
up and burned. No female friends ever follow
the funeral. The padres chant and read prayers in the
church, and the bells ring most furiously from the
time the person dies till he is buried, which is gen-
erally in a very short time. The priests, as in all
Catholic countries, exact large dues from those who
are able to pay for their prayers, and are very extor-
tionate to the poor, I am told. Mr. College, who
knows more of them than any one else, told me the
other day that he was called to visit a woman who
was very ill, in fact had quite lost her reason,
owing to her father confessor, who thought it neces-
sary to punish her. for the heinous sin of saying the
English were very good people, when some of her
friends attacked them. He told her she must con-
fess to him all her sins from the time she was seven
177
years old. She being then forty, the poor woman
thought it impossible, I suppose, and it preyed so
upon her mind that she actually went mad, and Mr.
College says it will no doubt be the death of her.
(She has since died.) Is it not horrible? Many
such instances of oppression occur, and it seems
dreadful that the priests should have such power.
I wonder when this Catholic religion will be done
away with. By degrees I think it will be; the
mild spirit of Christian charity is growing in
America, and it cannot fail to spread. I should
like to look upon this little planet two thousand
years hence, and see what mind will be then, see if
people will not think for themselves, and consider
themselves the keepers of their own consciences, and
God their only master, their best judge. How
different the world is now from what it was in the
fifteenth century, and shall it not go on toward per-
fection? I prophesy it will! We, or others, shall
see these Chinese exalted in the scale, their turn
must come, I think; the barriers must be broken
down, ignorance must give place to knowledge, and
slavery to freedom. Women will then be exalted ;
what a state they are in now, poor degraded beings !
Mere toys for the idle hours of their masters,
crippled and tortured merely to please them. As I
was walking this morning, I saw a poor creature
toddling along on her little feet. I am told that
the agony they have to endure is beyond conception ;
they commence swathing the feet at the age of two,
and for years they suffer excessively, all to gratify
178
the mother's pride. I am told the men do not like
it, although they think it necessary for their first
wife to have small feet. I was one day talking
with a very intelligent comprador upon the subject,
who seemed to think our custom of nipping in the
waist was quite as barbarous and cruel as to pinch
the feet. [Sensible man ! — Ed. ] In fact, it seems
to be a matter of astonishment to them how we can
"catchy chow-chow" (or eat), which would cer-
tainly be a greater grievance to them than not being
able to walk. A short time since there was a wed-
ding in Canton, young "Minqua " was married, and
the gentlemen were all invited to call upon the
bride on the wedding-day. They were all rejoiced
at the opportunity, a very rare one, and went.
They were asked to sit down, and the lady was
tottled into the room, supporting herself by putting
her hands on the shoulders of her two bridesmaids.
She walked around and courtesied to the gentlemen,
who were not permitted to stand up to receive her.
After having gone through this ceremony, she was
backed out of the room, looking highly delighted
that she had finished her task. She was very richly
dressed, and had strings of pearls hung all round
her face, coming from the comb behind. She was
painted, and looked pretty. The presents were all
displayed, some of them were very substantial, being
cakes of sycee-siXv&x,* of good size. The bride-
groom is obliged to take a bumper with all his
friends, and no doubt feels very merry before the
* Lumps of uncoined silver used by the Chinese as money. — Ed,
179
day is over. Ought we not to be thankful that
we are so much further advanced in civilization?
Though, I dare say, never having known better, the
China-woman is just as well contented with her
situation as we are with ours, and indeed I am
sometimes inclined to believe that she is to be
envied when compared with a woman of fashion,
who is tormented with envy, malice, and all un-
charitableness.
Everybody has gone, and here I am still writing
and waiting for Caroline. If I don't give her a
scolding for letting "Tom" stay so late! It is
more than "five minutes past eleven," the usual
hour with you, you know, when I made inquiries
in old times. The clock has begun to strike little
ones, and it is time he was gone. If I were as mis-
chievous as I used to be, I should walk in and dis-
turb their tite-d-tite, but I believe I am a little
more compassionate than of yore.
February 22. — C. has promised to be married in
three weeks from this time. Short work of it! I
think my mind will not be regulated till she is
nuptified, so I shall be glad when it is over, and I
tell her I will do my best to get her out of the
house. This morning I went to work and cut out a ^
satin dress for her. I consider myself No. i at the
trade.
23^. — Uncle came in early this morning, he is
looking much better. Went out to walk with him
after dinner, it is delightful to have some one to
walk with and talk to that belongs to me. He says
i8o
that in going to Canton they picked up part of the
crew of a China boat very near perishing, five were
drowned. I can hardly account for the indifference
we feel regarding these creatures; it must be that
we have no sympathy with them, they appear to me
to be a connecting link between man and beast,
certainly not equal to civilized man. You see
different grades and links in all the rest of Nature's
works, is it not reasonable to suppose that there are
higher and lower orders of men .' These certainly
do not possess the sensibility of other nations, and,
when we hear of such accidents, our imaginations
never picture happy families bereaved and destroyed,
for, knowing their brutal customs, we cannot think
that such distress exists.
February 24. — After dinner read Aunt and Uncle
two of Mr. Buckminster's excellent sermons, ser-
mons which make you wish to be better, exalt your
feelings, and incite you to make good resolutions, to
reflect upon your errors and desire to amend them.
A lovely afternoon ; we three went to walk, and had
a delightful time, the weather was warm and clear,
and we sat upon the rocks and mused. Met young
H. R. walking, a victim of consumption, a perfect
picture of it ; the brightness of the eye, the hectic,
cheek, the attenuated form, all bespeak this melan-
choly disease. I came home, reflected awhile on
the vanity of this world's possessions, ate my din-
ner, and then Latimer and Clifton came in, and L.
and I had a little "spat," and then forgave each
other. Caroline would say that my steps from the
i8t
sublime to the ridiculous and the grave to the gay
are very sudden, but so it is, our lives are made up
of it, inconsistencies and caprice are found in every
human breast, I believe. Well, I think I have
moralized enough for to-night. To-morrow is
your birthday, my dear sis, methinks your twenty-
fifth year. May God bless you, and give you many
happy returns of the day ! We are growing old,
my dear, I should think it was almost time for you
to be married. I have thrown aside my once
cherished theories of long engagements, and think
it best they should be as short as possible. Don't
ask me why, for I am sure I cannot say !
February 26. — Busy all day helping Caroline.
Am astonished to find how very capable I am ! It
is a long time since I have made such a speech, I
think I have been rather going upon the modest
lately. A gentleman, who professes to be a great
observer of human nature, wrote me a letter the
other day, telling me what he thought of me. One
thing was, he thought me too modest, that is, too
diffident of expressing my own opinion. In an
instant a look of my dear father's came to my mind,
that accompanied an anecdote of a friend of his,
who said that "a certain degree of modest assurance
was necessary to show a lady to advantage." I
remember father used to think I possessed a good
share of it. I wonder what he would say now. I
think the lady perfectly right, and am sure nothing
makes a person appear so well as a little self-con-
fidence, but it should not border upon self-conceit.
l82
Well, to go back to my capability, this is in the
dressmaking line. I think nothing of cutting out a
-' satin or lace dress and making it up. This is a
dreadful place to get married in, no shops to go to,
^and you must pick up such things as you can,
"asking no questions for conscience' sake." You
would laugh to hear us tell the comprador to send
J and catch a tailor, and then to see a great long-
tailed fellow trot in, impregnated with tobacco-
smoke, to take your work, which after much trouble
you get stuck together, often in a manner that would
little suit our particular ideas at home, but to get it
done at all is the thing. If they have an exact
muster (pattern), they sometimes do pretty well, but
the grievances are many, and one has to bear and
forbear. Captain J. dined with us, and College
has been here all the evening, and now he and
Caroline are in the drawing-room. Happy ? Yes,
but will it last, can such happiness endure.' A
little while ago I had almost the same feelings
(only we never met after the engagement) ; I
thought I had found one on whom I could lean, I
thought — but there, it is vain, let it pass, it was
but a dream. It makes me tremble, though, and
yet I am sure that C. can never change.
^ March i. — H. and L. called this morning to
congratulate Caroline. It seems to me a very odd
custom to congratulate a lady upon such an occasion.
One would suppose that she had accomplished some
great enterprise, or that she had been endeavoring
to win the gentleman's affections (and you know
183
a lady is never supposed to do any such thing), and
had at last accomplished her designs. She may be
offered their kind wishes, but in my opinion the
gentleman is the only one to be congratulated. I
forget whether it is a common thing with us.
March 5. — This morning hear^of the "Boston's"
arrival from England. Does not bring much news,
except that of the death of Sir Walter Scott,* who
has done so much for the amusement of the world
and the improvement of the taste of the age. How
different the style of our novels since his time! I
think he certainly has not lived in vain.
yth. — This morning busy as usual of late, cutting
out work. A note from College says a company of
Italian singers has just landed here, four gentlemen
and two ladies. It seems they have been driven
from South America, and came here on their way
to Calcutta, but they propose to stay here a few
months. It will be delightful to hear some good
music, and I hope they will give concerts. Read
the "History of France" by Crowe, one of Lard-
ner's collection. It is extremely well written, and
very interesting I have just got to the reign of
Louis XIII., or rather of Richelieu, for Louis was
a mere cypher. R. was a tyrant, but with such
talents that you cannot help respecting him, and
trying to attribute to necessity many of his ungodly
acts.
March g. — "Another six days' work is done!"
Yes, and another week gone, never to return. The
•Died Sept. 21, 1832.
184
weather is perfectly calm and foggy, I have not
been out of the house for a week. Uncle has been
trying all day to get away; but the weather is so
bad and the water so calm that it is useless to start
in a European boat, and the Chinese demur at tak-
ing foreigners in their "fast boats," partly for the
chance of extortion, I suppose. An ugly, wicked-
looking creature came here this afternoon, and had
the audacity to ask forty dollars to take Uncle up to
Whampoa. A creature that anywhere else I am
sure one would be afraid to trust himself with, and
to think of paying that sum to be put into a miser-
able little hole where you cannot stand up, with
fifteen or twenty of these ugly creatures, who re-
semble more our ideas of evil spirits than anything
else I can compare them to !
-• March ii. — Cut out a gown for myself. Thick
fog again this morning, this visitation is really very
distressing, and everything so damp and nasty, as
the English say. You would be astonished to hear
how common this word is; it is applied to every-
thing, both people and things. I think they cannot
laugh at the Americans for odd expressions. Dined
at Mrs. D. 's, everything very elegant. A gentle-
man asked me to-night if the sacraments were ever
administered in America. Only think what a ques-
tion ! One would suppose they thought the Ameri-
cans perfect heathens to hear the questions they ask.
We are all endeavoring to have the marriage cere-
mony performed in the evening. It is so awkward
in such a place as this to have it before twelve
i85
o'clock. The D. 's are going to see Mr. W. (the
clergyman) to find out his reasons for declining.
Had a letter from Mr. Russell, written the evening
he called on you. Says you all seemed as happy as
possible. How happy I am to hear it ! Am afraid
our poor country is in a bad way, from all accounts.
I think I shall weep if Jackson is re-elected.
March 14. — Mr. P. called this morning, and
invited us to come to the Company's to-night, as the
Italian singers were to be there for the first time.
We declined going to dinner, but went about nine,
and heard some very good music, though they were
suffering from colds. The Italian music requires
some little time to get accustomed to, but before
they had finished the evening I began to feel its
power.
\i,th. — Making preparations for the wedding, I
have been writing cards all day. I shall send you
a muster to show you what the English custom is.
If it comes in season, I think you had better adopt
it. I think it very pretty. And I have been writ-
ing notes to all the people in the place to come and
breakfast at twelve on Monday morning to meet the
bridal party. We sent about sixty-five invitations.
Something of a party, but the Company's steward
will arrange it.
\?,th. — This morning soon after breakfast I
dressed the bride in white satin, with a lace hand-
kerchief over her neck, and veil on her head. I
dressed myself in white muslin,* and at eleven
* This reminds one of "The Critic": "Enter Tilburina in white satin; enter Con-
fidante in white muslin." — Ed,
1 86
our party, consisting of the bride and groom, Aunt
and Uncle L. , six groomsmen and Miss Pereira and
myself as bridesmaids, proceeded to the church, or
chapel, where the ceremony was read in the most
solemn and impressive manner by Mr. Wimberley.
There is much in the English service that I should
think better omitted, but, however, we got through
very well, and returned to our house, where the
tables were all elegantly laid for about seventy
people. They were all introduced to Mrs. College
as they came in, as at our evening wedding-parties
at home. The Governor thought to make himself
of consequence, and kept us waiting an hour, so that
we sat down to breakfast about one. Mr. Latimer
sent a band of music to play as we returned from
church and during the repast. Everything went off
very well. The Italian singers volunteered to
sing, and they were a great acquisition. The party
broke up about four, and the bride and bridegroom
went to their house about six. We had the brides-
maid and the groomsmen to dinner at seven, with
several other gentlemen. Altogether the day was
passed in a very satisfactory manner. I thought at
the time that you, my dear sis, might possibly be
going through the same ceremony ; if so, may God
bless you, and make you as happy in your choice as
I think Caroline is. There is no mistake about
College, nor do I think there is in George. There-
fore, I resign my two sisters with the greatest cheer-
fulness.
Now, my dear, as I am coming to the end of my
i87
fifth book, it is time to give you a few parting
words. So, my dear, make all due allowances for
the errors that may be found here. "What is writ,
is writ, — would it were worthier." Farewell.
BOOK VI.
MACAO, MARCH IQ TO AUG. 22, 1833.
For the sake of variety I will have no prelude,
but endeavor to think where I left off in my other
book, as I must look back some days. I closed with
the wedding - day, that memorable day ! A day
which witnessed the union of two people who two
years ago did not know of each other's existence.
How strange ! Meeting in the uttermost parts of
the earth, and linking their interests for life, and
perhaps longer. What a change in their manner of
living ! How delightful to find one on whom you
can bestow all your affection with a certainty of its
being reciprocated! That their horizon may be
always as cloudless as at the present moment is my
earnest prayer.
March 19. — Was very busy all the morning,
arranging my room and putting things to rights
(for everything was disarranged for yesterday's en-
tertainment), so that I have had no time to feel the
loss of my "better half." Everybody thinks it
necessary to call upon us after the party, and I
thought I should never get out of the house.
March 20. — Had a note from the bride this morn-
ing, asking me to come and see her. I went about
one, and found her looking blooming, with every-
thing comfortable and elegant about her.
1 89
2isi. — The bridal party dined with Mrs. College
at seven. Had a very pleasant evening. The bride
does the honors handsomely for a beginner.
23a?. — Uncle went back yesterday. We shall
feel gloomy enough, now he has gone. Our house
seems so still and quiet, and we can get no walks,
the weather is so bad. Busied ourselves this morn-
ing cutting out work for the tailor. After dinner
finished the " History of France " by Crowe, beauti-
fully written and very entertaining. His remarks
appear to me excellent, and his ideas of Napoleon
just. What a series of crimes and wickednesses
one reads of in history, what contrasts in character !
One cannot help wishing, when reading of a man
with great talents, that they were hereditary, though
the men of the greatest talents seem to do the most
mischief. You seldom meet with a great and good
man, the two seem almost incompatible. I am ex-
ceedingly fond of reading history, and yet it always
disgusts me with human nature.
March 27. — The "pea-soup," as Chinnery calls
the fog, has cleared up, and we have had no rain
to-day, though it is not clear ; the sun is very spar-
ing of its cheering beams at this season. Read
aloud to Aunty the "Life of Frederic the Great,"
by Lord Dover. He was certainly an able general,
and Napoleon says the only one of modern days for
whom he had any respect. Voltaire says he was
greater than Charles XH., for he was a statesman as
well as a hero.
2Zth. — To my book, to my book, to tell my dis-
1 90
tresses. It is the receptacle, the depot, of what ? —
shall I say miseries? I daresay you will think,
and perhaps rightly, that they are all imaginary.
Spent the day reading, visiting Caroline, and
sketching at Mr. Chinnery's. When it was time to
dress for the Company's dinner (in honor of the
bride), I tried very hard to make the boy under-
stand that I wanted some flowers to adorn mi caheza
(my head), but all my bad English could not accom-
plish it. He said, "No could catch, in Canton
could catch." I said, "Masque,'' and told him he
was a very stupid boy, which was all the satisfaction
I had. Soon after, however, I was supplied by a
friend, made myself very beautiful, and at seven
went to the party, from which I have just returned,
having had as pleasant a time as is possible here.
I laughed and talked a great deal, heard some music,
and was apparently the gayest of the gay, but, alas !
it was only skin-deep, for the moment I got home
I could have had a good cry, and indeed I could not
restrain my tears. I did feel so lonely to be the
only spinster in the room. It is no doubt very fool-
ish to feel thus, but I cannot help it. I wish I
could stay at home, then I am contented, but to be
dragged to places night after night is too much. I
think I am a little bilious, therefore I'll say no
more. I daresay you'll laugh at me, but I cannot
speak my feelings to any one, and so you get them.
You will say, if this is the sum of my grief, it is
imaginary, and perhaps you will agree with an
author I was reading the other day, that "there is
191
nothing like real evils to banish imaginary ones, for
which matrimony is a sovereign cure. " A very true
observation, I dare say. It is not that I wish to be
married that makes me feel so, the many that I can
have I do not want, there is no one here whose
friendship I covet, that is the worst of it. Now,
my dear, I feel better, and you, no doubt, will call
me a foolish girl, and that is all I shall get. Never
mind, I am at a good distance, and hope ere this
reaches you I may be thinking of packing up to
remove from here, I care not much where.
$isi. — I seem to have been in a very dismal
mood when I closed my book; the weather is my
excuse, for, in spite of Dr. Johnson, such a spell of
nasty, dirty, drizzling weather is enough to make
one gloomy. But to-day is lovely, like our delight-
ful spring mornings, the very air reminds me of
home. My spirits revived at the sight of the sun,
and I feel quite myself again. The house is opened
to dry up the damp and mould, and a regular "Sat-
urday cleaning" is going on. I have had quite a
feast of letters per "Bela. " I suppose before this,
my dear, that you are Mrs. Archer. Would that I
could have been there on that occasion, but it is
useless to regret; I think you were wise to defer it
no longer. Before you receive this, you will be an
old married woman, and, having had no experience
in that line, I can give no advice. I doubt not that
you will have all the happiness possible with so
dear a friend, and I feel happy in the thought that
you are thus united. All you say about the chil-
192
dren is very gratifying, and read with great inter-
est. After I had read my letters, we went to C. 's,
and with her and some others to Chinnery's, to see
Mr. College's picture. It is a most interesting
thing, a group of five figures, — but first for the like-
ness, which, I am sorry to say, is not so striking as
in many of Chinnery's pictures, the face is in pro-
file, which is, perhaps, the reason. The figure, a
full length, is perfect. One hand is resting on the
forehead of a China-woman whom he has restored to
sight from total blindness. He has lifted her spec-
tacles and is turning to Afun, his Chinese servant,
and telling him to explain to the woman how she is
to proceed in future. Afun's likeness is excellent.
The son of the woman is on his knees before Col-
lege, presenting a chop (or letter of thanks, always
written on red paper) for his kindness. The fifth
figure is a poor old man sitting on the floor in a
corner, with his eyes bandaged, waiting for atten-
tion. It is a most interesting and touching picture.
I hope to have the pleasure of bringing an engrav-
ing of it home with me. Mr. College has cured an
immense number of Chinese afflicted with diseases
of the eyes. Some have thought that something in
the rice they live on causes the trouble, but College
thinks it is because they pay no attention to these
complaints in the beginning, or often use medicines
not at all suited to the disease. It is not uncom-
mon to meet four or five blind people together in
the street, and the number of deformed people is
quite shocking. I never saw anything to equal the
193
distortion of limbs one often meets here. As I
came out of Chinnery's to-day, I saw one cripple, a
perfect picture of suffering, misery, and despair. I
could not help asking myself what feeling or prin-
ciple he could have within that could induce him to
bear such loads of misery. It could not be the fear
of death, for the most intelligent Chinese have no
idea of a future state,* and it appears to me that
this poor wretch could never have looked beyond the
present, and it seems impossible that it could be the
love of life.
April 2. — This morning called on Caroline, and
then went to that amusing man, Chinnery, and
stayed till after two sketching. There is a good
deal to be gathered from his conversation, and some
of his similes are most amusing. He has been a
great observer of human nature, for which he has
had every opportunity, his profession having brought
him in contact with people of high and low degree.
He has been in Calcutta for twenty years, and has
seen a great variety of characters, as you may sup-
pose, in that changing place. He has excellent
sense, and plumes himself upon being, "though not
handsome, excessively genteel " ; his personal ap-
pearance, I think, however, is rather against him, for
he is what I call fascinatingly ugly, and what with
a habit he has of distorting his features in a most
un-Christian manner, and with taking snuff, smok-
ing, and snorting, I think, were he not so agreeaible,
*Thi9 observation was made without reflection. Many Chinese believe in the
transmigration of souls. — Marginal note by writer.
194
he would be intolerable. But, to give him his due,
he is really polite, and speaks well of every one.
Being one of his especial favorites, I must say some-
thing for him; to use his own expression, he
"buckles" to me. We were asking him if Afun
(in Mr. College's picture) could keep still enough
to be painted. "Ma'am," he said, "the Rock of
Gibraltar is calves'-foot jelly to him."
[Mr. Chinnery was a great epicure, and my
mother told us that, having once asked a gentleman
at his own table how he should help him, the
gentleman replied carelessly, "Oh, I don't care,
Mr. Chinnery : help me as you would help yourself. ' '
Whereupon the artist laid down his knife and fork,
and looked at him in dismay. "Good Lord, sir!"
he ejaculated. "I wouldn't do that for my own
father!"— £^.]
April g. — Spent part of the morning translating
English into French. About twelve, Caroline
came in with Chinnery. He is going to take her
picture, a full length, for Papa College, and he
wishes to have her on our couch, with screen, fire-
place, etc., for background. Then we went to his
room, to see Aunt L. 's likeness, which is excellent.
I am to have my phiz painted, great presumption
on my part, I think, but it was the request of Uncle
and Aunt, and the thought of the pleasure it would
give you all that induced me. I sat for an hour,
looking at one of the ugliest men in existence, but
he makes himself so agreeable that you quite forget
how ugly he is. He requested me to have the
195
mouth open, a thing which I abominate in a picture,
but he says it will never do to have it shut, as I
generally keep it a little open.
" O wad some power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as others see us ! "
Now I am sure I was not aware that I had this
habit, — it is the ugly formation of it. Well, there
I sat, with my head screwed and twisted in a strange
manner, till after he had finished the first sketch,
and then I looked at it. Oh, ye powers, what a
thing! and yet I think it must be like me, because
I saw mother's look about the eyes, also Cousin
Forster's whom I was always said to resemble, but
such a fright ! I have laughed fifty-one times since,
to think of it. The head appears about ready to
take leave of the neck, the mouth is open as though
I were snoring; there is a little something yclept
nose, and a place where eyes should be. I suppose
I must wait with patience for a few more sittings,
but I think it will rather lower my vanity, though
on the subject of personal appearance I never had
much.
After dinner read the "History of Greece," and
then Aunty and I walked the veranda. Talked of
going home, the feelings we shall probably have,
the changes that have taken place, etc., till we got
quite melancholy, she at the retrospection, I with
impatience to be there. We were comparing our
blessings and troubles, — hers, I see, have been all
positive, mine mostly negative. She has certainly
196
tasted, and deeply, too, of affliction, but then through
all she has had her husband, and while he lives
she can bear anything, I verily believe. She is an
extraordinary woman, and indeed I never knew any
one who possessed so much fortitude; if all the
world were like her, there would be much more
happiness in it. Now I pass along as with the
current, — I have never as yet had either positive
happiness or positive misery. I have thousands of
vexations and annoyances, but they are not to be
mentioned in comparison with her afflictions. For
my part, I think happiness is very equally divided
throughout the world ; we are all suited to the cir-
cumstances in which we are placed, either by
nature or by habit, which is second nature.
April 15. — A glorious morning this, the air so-
delightful, it smells like home! You may think
this a foolish notion, but you have no idea what a
trifle brings home and its delights before us. ByroiL
has something like this in "Childe Harold," when
he writes, "It may be a sound, a tone of music, a.
flower, the wind," that strikes the electric chain
that binds us,
" And how and why we know not, nor can trace
Home to its cloud this lightning of the mind."
Say what you will of Byron, he could write poetry.
Follow his "Childe Harold" through Italy, go-
with him to the Coliseum, his description is beau-
tiful, and so is his apostrophe to Time. His,
description of St. Peter's is perfect, not a word.
197
too much or too little. When reading his poetry,
you wish almost that nothing of his character had
ever been known.
However, I have sadly digressed from my subject ;
and, if I can find my way back, I will tell you in
plain prose what I did with myself yesterday.
Every moment I had before eleven, I was study-
ing French, then I went to Chinnery's, and looked
at the man till two, when I found m)^elf in better
humor with my portrait, which will, I think, be an
excellent likeness, and a little paint will make it
better- looking than I am, I fear. You can make
allowances for the paint. Chinnery said some good
things, and we passed the morning very pleasantly.
He compares aristocracy to laudanum and salts,
which taken moderately have a very good effect, but
take too much of either, and you know the conse-
quences, exceedingly dangerous, and extremely dis-
agreeable. After dinner I went to Caroline's, and
College lent me an English and French dictionary,
so now I am made. Worked all the evening, and
now it is near twelve, which is my bedtime.
April 26. — Went to the opera this evening. Our
box holds seven, or rather it consists of seven chairs
placed in a row, which we dignify by the name of
box. Aunt L., Caroline and myself, Mr. College,
Mr. Chinnery, and two other gentlemen made up
the party. The opera was called " The Father and
Daughter." It is one of Mrs. Opie's tales drama-
tized and translated into Italian, with Italian music.
The heroine was Mme. Scheroni, Ernesto, her se-
198
ducer, was Mme. Caravaglia, who took the part of a
man, both good singers, but Mme. S. the better of
the two, and she appeared to more advantage, being
in better health. They all did very well, and we
were very much entertained. The music was very
good, much better than we had anticipated. The
opera was over about eleven, when we went to Mrs.
D. 's, and had z. petit souper, which relished very
well.
April 28. — Caroline dined with us, her sposo
being at the Company's, and after dinner we all
sallied forth to enjoy the pure air of heaven, which
is delightful at this season. We seated ourselves
on the rocks at Casilha's Bay, and a lovelier view
was never beheld by mortal eye. It is a place
where we can sit and reflect without wishing for
company, for
" There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,"
but we were not alone, for on Sunday evenings the
noiies (idlers) all turn out, and such a display of
figures you never saw, they are really very amusing.
They generally walk in groups of ten or twenty, and
smoke as they go, and it is quite dreadful to get in
the rear of one of these groups with the wind ahead ;
for you are in danger of being suffocated with smoke
and fumes of garlic. As I passed along, I noticed
some Chinamen about, "chin-chining their fathers, "
as they term it. I walked up to the grave to see
what they had prepared. They had an immense
199
quantity of gilded papers, which they were about to
burn, and I counted fifteen different messes of
"chow-chow" (food), which they place on the
graves with the idea, I believe, that their ancestors
or their spirits come forth and eat it, and find they
are still remembered. At this season all the graves
have pieces of red and white paper put upon the top
of the mound, with two pieces of fresh turf on them
to keep them down. There is something written
upon these papers, which, of course, I cannot read.
May 4. — Expected to have gone to Chinnery's
this morning, but he could not wait upon me. The
opera is postponed till next Tuesday night on ac-
count of the sickness of the opera-tors. So, you see,
we make plans for a day, but they are all defeated
without our having the least power to prevent it.
What passive creatures we are! Walked on the
terrace in the evening, longing for Uncle's arrival,
and had the felicity of seeing the dear soul just
coming on shore in a Tanka boat. He is looking
well, and I hope will stay with us for some time.
Uncle brings us dreadful news from America via
the Sandwich Islands. That is, the re-election of
Jackson, and the declaration of independence of
the South Carolinians. Well, it is "truly awful,"
I think, that the people should choose such a man.
It is a disgrace to the coimtry, and I shall be pre-
pared to hear anything. The dissolution of the
Union will follow, I daresay, and next thing Jack-
son will be declared king, emperor, or something of
the kind, and about the time we are ready to come
200
home there will be civil war, and all sorts of evils
may be anticipated. [What a furious little Cassan-
dra !^^^.] Well, I shall no longer stand up for
our government, when such a man as Jackson can
fill the highest station, by consent of the people, too.
May 7. — Uncle sat for his picture to-day.
Spent the morning with Caroline. We pinned up
turbans to wear to the opera to-night. They were
pronounced elegant,* and were made of Benares
muslin scarfs. Caroline's was blue and silver, mine
white and silver. They are such as the higher class
natives of Bengal wear. The same opera was per-
formed to a full house, and the singing was very
good, but I do not much like the play. Mr. Wim-
berley has risen two or three pegs in my estimation
by declining to go to the opera, though he had tick-
ets given him for the season. It seems that he can
make some sacrifices for his profession, which I fear
would not have been the case with my friend V.
May 8. — Dined with Caroline. A number of
gentlemen were there, and our turbans were spoken
of. I find mine was not generally thought becom-
ing, indeed, they begged me not to wear it again.
The fact is, the house was not lighted enough to
display its beauties. Besides, it was a turban that
belonged to an ancient spinster. So you see how
we are deceived! I went to the opera perfectly
satisfied with myself, and not having a doubt but
that I should be "the observed of all observers,"
*That was by partial eyes; you will observe what follows regarding them. —
Marginal note hy writer.
20I
that, perhaps, I was, but not "the admired of all
admirers." Well, I don't care much. I generally
have the credit of dressing with taste. The Ameri-
can ladies are said to be the best dressed of the
place, because we are always neat; the clothes of
many of the ladies, the gentlemen say, look as if
they were thrown on with a pitchfork.
May lo. — Went to Chinnery's this morning to
have ray own face painted.* Sat with all the pa-
tience I could muster from eleven till three, in
hopes it would be the last sitting, but there is one
more to come. The room is so hot that it is almost
insupportable, not a breath of air from out-of-doors
is allowed to enter, but I have the one satisfaction
that the picture must give you pleasure, for the like-
ness is said by every one to be perfect. They say
I must have run against the canvas and left an im-
pression there, so the thought of the pleasure with
which you will see it consoles me for all the exer-
tion I make in this hot weather. I was quite ex-
hausted before I left, however, but some dinner and
a rest on the couch made me feel better. Had a
walk with C. to one of our old haunts. We turned
our thoughts towards the past, and painted some
fancy pictures for the future, and talked of the
present, a time we are too much disposed to''under-
value. There is no comfort in writing to you at
night now, my dear, the mosquitoes are so trouble-
some that I am glad to put myself under the cur-
tains for a little repose. I must confess that insig-
• See frontispiece. — Ed,
202
nificant as they are, they ruflSe my temper and dis-
compose my nerves, and it is the more annoying
their boasting so loudly of their triumphs. I would
not grudge them a living from my person, if they
would take it quietly and go off, but that does not
seem to be their aim, and much as I often feel in-
clined to write at night when I am still, and every-
thing else, too, I am obliged to acknowledge myself
conquered, and retire from the field. So, my dear,
you do not know what brilliant ideas you may lose,
and what fine sentiments ; the collection of a day,
which may all evaporate before the next morning.
May 13. — This morning about two we were
awakened by the guns, drums, and bells all pro-
claiming in their different languages Fire! A very
rare occurrence here. Indeed, I hardly remember
an instance of it, so that I did not think of fire, but,
hearing a gre^t noise, concluded it must be some
feast-day, which is certainly not a rarity, so I turned
over, and went to sleep again. It seems it was a
salt-merchant's establishment in the bazaar. In
consequence, the price of salt has risen twenty
cash on the catty,* so you see they make the public
pay for the damage. After breakfast I went to my
own room, where I stayed till three o'clock undis-
turbed, turning English into French. You may
think I spend a great deal of time learning lan-
guages, and so I do, for, independently of the pleas-
ure and benefit of knowing the language, it is an
advantage to have some fixed occupation.
May 15. — Went to Chinnery's this morning for
• Cash, a small coin worth about ^. cent; catty, about i% lbs. avoirdupois.— £/i
203
my last sitting. The likeness is said to be perfect,
but I think it is a very ugly face. It has not raised
my vanity in the least. I sat there till nearly
three, when I was quite exhausted, and very glad
to leave the "studio." Spent the evening with
Caroline, and read a tragedy called "Fazio," one
played by Miss Kemble lately in New York. It
is very good, and she is said to have acted the char-
acter of Bianca perfectly. Came home feeling very
triste, why I cannot say. I do suffer more from
low spirits than I ever did before. What a light-
hearted thing I used to be! Now I hardly find any-
thing to make me feel really merry. I laugh, of
course, but I have lost the feelings I once had. 'Tis
retrospection, I think; the past year has been, I
can truly say, the most melancholy that I ever
passed, at least I have had more positive feelings of
both kinds, pleasure and pain, — but would that it
had never been ! " (9 monde, O monde .'" as Napo-
leon used to exclaim. I sometimes feel quite sick
of it, and I will bid you good-night, or I shall be-
come sentimental, and that is out of fashion.
May 1 8. — My twenty-fourth birthday. How
shocking ! Well, it cannot be helped, can it ? I
see I am looking much older than I did. Went to
Chinnery's with Uncle, as he was to have his last
sitting. Drew a little, but I do not take the same
interest in the amusement as I did last year, the
change of masters makes a great difference, I find
At seven Bradford came, and we went to the opera.
It was called "The Italians in Algiers" {Gl' Ital-
204
iani in Algieti) ; the dresses were rich, and most
of the characters well supported. It was very amus-
ing. You would laugh at our stage, which is ten
feet high, sixteen wide, and twenty deep! The
tallest man, Pizzoni, nearly touches the ceiling,
but the music is the thing, and we laugh at the rest.
It was over about eleven. Thus has ended my
birthday !
May 30. — Latimer and Green arrived last night
very unexpectedly. They came down for the opera.
The first thing I heard from L. was about the tur-
N. I bans C. and I once wore there. I tell you this to
give you an idea of the trifling things these people
talk about. I told him I did not wish to hear any-
thing about it. It makes me feel cross to think
they make such a fuss about nothing. Went to the
opera at eight. The house was very full. "All
the beauty and fashion ' ' of Macao were there. We
were, however, very much scandalized at seeing a
certain lady enter (with whom no decent woman
would associate, and no gentleman would have sent
there), covered with diamonds, head, neck, and
ears, and looking as impudent as possible, with her
servant behind her. When I come home, I can a
tale unfold concerning this, which would "harrow
up your soul, ' ' but I cannot disgrace my book with
it. Now to the singing. Scheroni as Almenalde
was quite enchanting, and the dresses one and all
were splendid; but what appears to me almost a
miracle is the compass S. screws herself into to
come on to the stage, and then to sing laced in this
205
manner, is shocking to think of. Caravaglia in
the character of Tancredi did very well, but, poor
thing, she is quite passie and not fit to sing. I
begin to admire the Italian music very much. It
is quite an acquired taste.
May 31. — At three we went to dine with Mr. P.
A party of twelve, no ladies but ourselves and Caro-
line. After dinner we jumped into a boat, which
was waiting for us in front of the house, and went
to the Lappon to see (or hear) a sounding rock,
which, from its peculiar situation or the metals in
it, sounds like a church bell. Indeed, there are a
number of them, and they are very curious. The
walk was delightful. The scenery on that side is
quite perfect, much prettier than in Macao. All
the way, at one side, ran a clear stream called the
Inha. It is about two feet wide most of the way,
but in places broadens into a lake, where the wash-
ing is done for the English and Portuguese of
Macao. The rocks are the scrubbing-boards, and
you may judge what work they make of the clothes.
June 7. — We hear by to-day's letters and papers
of war in Europe, the taking of the citadel of Ant-
werp, etc. Ten thousand French reported killed.
I was exceedingly pleased with the President's
proclamation regarding Carolina, and think with
him that they (the Carolinians) ought to be whipped
if they do not behave. I do not give the old
gentleman the credit of writing this spirited and
elegant production, but that he has had the good
sense to subscribe to such sentiments has raised
206
him some degrees in my estimation. I do not feel
very anxious now about the division, as I think the
Carolinians will certainly yield. There seem to
be terrible times in Europe, too, rebellion here and
rebellion there, and all owing to this independence,
a spirit which is placed in every human breast. I
got Rossini's "Memoirs" from the library, and
amused myself with them till it was time to go to
hear one of his best operas, "// Barbiere de Se-
viglia." It is a capital play, and some of the
music is very beautiful ; but on the whole I prefer
the music of "Tancredi, " that has made a lasting im-
pression upon me. Mr. Inglis was very entertain-
ing, as usual, and gave us some anecdotes of Ros-
sini, whom he saw daily at Naples. He says he
was the most indolent person in the world, as well
as reckless and extravagant. He said, too, that
after the opera in Naples the Italians would as-
semble at the house of one of the principal patron-
esses for a fetit souper, and as they came in, one
after another would go to the piano and play parts
of the opera they had just heard, till among them
the whole was often given from memory. They
trusted to that altogether, as there was no printed
music in Italy. Oh, the Italians certainly have
the soul for music! If I were anything but an
American, I would choose to be an Italian, with an
English education after I was twelve years old.
I admire their nature, their enthusiasm, their
strength and warmth of feeling, and their love of
music, which I think must be innate. Read an
207
article to-day in a magazine about a new-fashioned
bed for invalids called the "Hydrostatic Bed,"
made upon water, an odd idea! But I should think
it must be very comfortable. People certainly
stretch their imaginations now to invent comforts,
but I doubt if fewer people die nowadays than in
old times, when they had not so many.
June i6. — Slept till eight o'clock this morning,
quite abominable. Asked Josepha why she let me
sleep so long. She said she went to mass at five,
and did not get home in time. She thought, as it
was Sunday, Miss H. would not want to study.
You may think her getting up at five to go to church
is an instance of piety, but I think far otherwise.
Much as she goes to church and many prayers as she
says, there is no more religion in her than there is
in a bamboo. As to virtue among these people,
there is no such thing. I asked her the other night
what she did when we were out late. She said she
read prayers. I said, "For two or three hours .' "
She said sometimes she did not get time to read
any for several days, and then she had to make up
for it. I said, "Do you like to read them, Jo-
sepha.'" She said, "Must, liky or no liky!"
She gave me to understand that it was not at all
agreeable, but that she was accountable to the padre
for a certain number, which she must either read or
take the consequences ! Oh, it is a vile system !
Mr. W. came down in the ' ' Sylph. " I do not know
whether he will honor us with a call. He dined
with Caroline. I read the "Life of Washington "
2o8
all the afternoon and evening. Had to read some
pages over a number of times before I could take in
the sense, — savez-vous pourquoi f Oh, dear!
June 1 8. — Another blowing, miserable day. I
read awhile, then went to Caroline's, as she had
something to say to me. It was a message from
Mr. W. He does not intend to call. So be it!
Came home at two, and felt triste enough, did
nothing all the afternoon. Had the blues in good
earnest. However, before night I made some good
resolutions, and intend to act upon them. I began
this evening, took up my book, and by dint of exer-
tion became interested in it, and went to bed satis-
fied that for once I had conquered my feelings.
For there is a satisfaction in conquering yourself,
to feel that you have some power over your own
mind, if not over that of other people.
June 22. — Went to the opera this evening, where
Rossini's opera of "Edouard and Christine" was
performed. The music was very fine, but the com-
pany does not excel in the serio. With comedy
everything is in keeping, but tragedy does not
answer. My friend was there, but did not speak to
me. I am more and more convinced that all in
regard to that affair is as it should be. My feelings
were very much hurt this evening, as I may tell you
in a letter, but I am afraid of this book. It seems
as though I were doomed to all the annoyances pos-
sible, little things that one must bear quietly and
submissively without any credit for it, but which
are ten times worse than some great event, which.
209
if conducted with dignity, wins you some applause.
Mrs. Opie says in one of her books that it is easy
to perform a great action now and then, when the
eyes of the world are upon you, but that it is the
little, petty every -day occurrences which try you, and
those about you. I went to bed in a very unhappy
humor to-night, only wishing I could have an op-
portunity to give the gentleman a piece of my mind
with my own lips. I would not spare him.
June 23. — After dinner took the chair and went
to our hill, and ensconced myself where I could see
every one, but not be discovered. The soft wind
blew upon me, and in spite of my sadness I was
enchanted with the beauties around me, — the setting
sun, the green forest just behind me, the ocean be-
yond, literally beaming with sunny smiles. I had
been there about half an hour when a gang of
Chinese men and boys came up and surrounded me,
so that I ran half-way down the hill, but was deter-
mined they should not disturb me farther. They
saw I was alarmed, and followed me, but I took no
further notice of them, and they soon went off. I
knew there was no danger, as there were people
about on the other hills, but I didn't know but
they might give my ear-rings a twitch, which would
not have been agreeable. However, a Chinaman is
a great deal more civil than I fear the same class of
my own countrymen would be. I am sure, had these
men been English or American, I should not have
dared to sit there. Well, in moving from the top
of the hill, I was discovered by Mr. W., who came
2IO
to my rescue, and made a very humble apology for
his conduct of last night. I was perfectly aston-
ished at my own apparent coolness, while he was
choking and stuttering; but it is wonderful what
pride will do, and for those few moments you would
have thought me perfectly indifferent. Well, I
was satisfied with myself, and came home feeling
much better. As I have given you the whole his-
tory in a letter, I will say no more.
June 24. — A dreadful day, hot as possible. I got
tired of reading about two, and went to Caroline's.
She had been making some gingerbread, and, not
having any butter, the servant brought her some
mutton tallow, which she put in ! The Chinese
think anything in the way of grease will do. For
their own cooking, they use lamp oil. C. told me
that my friend W. had been to her in the morning,
and told her with how much coldness I had received
his apology. He seemed quite piqued. Well, I
am glad he could not see inside, as the Chinese say,
he might have been too much flattered. Went to
the opera in the evening. Enjoyed the music very
much, and quite forgot the heat. I saw Mr. W.
there, but he did not speak to me. It reminded me
of the song, "We met, 'twas in a crowd." He left
soon after with S. for Canton, — perhaps the last
time I shall ever see him. Well, God bless him !
All is as it should be, I am convinced, and could I
but forget, I should be glad; but "Time, the com-
forter and only healer when the heart has bled,"
must be my friend.
211
June 28. — A melting day again, Tiiis morning
Caroline sent me Mrs. Trollope's "Refugee in
America," a novel just arrived here. It is a very
interesting story, and pleasantly written, that is,
the style is amusing. I daresay she touches upon
many of the real foibles of our countrymen, but I
think she caricatures all she touches. She certainly
uses a great deal of language that I never heard,
but I do not know what they may do in Rochester.
I should like to know who this Mrs. Trollope may
be. I do not believe it is a lady.
June 30. — A letter from Uncle this morning says
that Father writes that one of the boys will come
out in the autumn. I sent to the Library, and got
Priestley's Memoirs and Sermons, and read them
throughout the day, and enjoyed the book much. I
find that every day I am the more convinced that
I am a thorough Unitarian, and, having in a manner
my own ideas upon the subject, I am delighted when
I find them supported by wiser and greater people.
I rejoice now that I have been placed in a situation
which has compelled me to form my own opinions
by my own judgment, and I earnestly hope that the
love of such a religion will grow with my years
and strengthen with my strength, for I am very
sure that it is the only consolation in adversity, and
the securest refuge in times of disappointment and
trouble.
July 3. — This morning after breakfast, having had
a little molasses given me, I undertook to make
some candy ; a delightful employment for a hot day,
212
but upon my word I felt no hotter for the fire, in-
deed I have not been so comfortable for some time.
I had a little furnace put on the terrace outside my
room, and there I sat and stirred, reflecting on the
many candy frolics I have had at home, and the work
we used to make for the servant, alias "help." In
spite of my reflections and my attention, my candy
all of a sudden burned, because the fire was too hot, —
a very good reason, surely. So I sang out to Achow
that he must take it down, and bring me another
kettle (or whatever name it might be dignified with),
and some more molasses, and I would begin with the
remains of the coals, and be sure not to burn it this
time. Sundry and divers regrets, which were of no
avail, so I laughed it off, and was soon under way
again, thinking, as I had less fire, I might take it
more comfortably. So with my bamboo in one hand
stirring with all my might, and my book in the other,
and a fine breeze upon my back, I began to think
I should make candy often. Suddenly I looked at
it ; the fire was defunct, and my 'lasses had stopped
boiling. "Thinks I to myself," this won't do, so I
sang out to Achow that the fire was defunct, and the
molasses would not walky. So up he came, the
cooly with some coals, and the boy with some fire,
for it takes three to do anything here, and you would
have laughed to see me sitting there in the midst of
them with my bamboo and my book, and their opera- •
tions were very amusing, too. Finally, all was in
order again, and I succeeded & merveille. The candy
was delicious, and the only trouble was that once in..
213
the dishes, we could not get it out again, for they had
not been well buttered. After much trouble I suc-
ceeded in getting some out for Mr. Wimberley and-
Mr. Davis, which they thought very nice, and sent
me some facetious notes in return. To Caroline I
sent a dish just as it was, and told her she would prob-
ably have to eat it dish and all, for I despaired of
ever getting it out. She sent me word that her ayahl
was tilting at it like any knight in romance, not
to unhorse, but to undish it, and she thought there
was some prospect of her succeeding. But, alas ! the
worst remains to be told. In the evening I wanted
some of my candy, and lo and behold ! it had re-
turned to that from which it came, and I saw noth-,
ing but a dish of molasses. It reminded me very much
of the old woman's soap which comes and goes, but
I fear this goes, not to come again. Well, I hope
you will be edified, — it has at least filled a page in
my journal. After dinner I had a letter from Uncle,
praising me for my spirit on a certain occasion about
which I have written you. He tells me it is Abbot *
who is coming out, and now I shall be all impatience
till he comes. I think from Uncle's letters we shall
be condemned to stay here another year. The
thought is intolerable, but we cannot be positive yet.
I try to cheer up, for I am actually tired of melan-
choly, but how can one be merry without a single cir-
cumstance to cheer them .?
July 12. — Letter from Uncle this morning.
Says they are inundated in Canton, and cannot
* Her oldest brother, A. A. Low, father of the present president of Columbia
College.— £■</.
214
leave their houses except in boats. It is dreadfully
hot there, and I fear after this it will be unhealthy.
I wrote Mr. Chinnery a flourishing note this morn-
ing, and gave him a little "soft soap" (for flattery is
a thing, he says, "he cuts mutton-chops out of"), and
returned his sketch-book, hinting that I should like
another. Whether the "soft soap" had a good
effect, or what other motive he may have had, I
cannot say, but in about half an hour he came him-
self, with another book. We had given orders "no
could see," so asked him to tea.
July 14. — Read two excellent sermons written
by Thatcher. He is certainly a superior writer.
After dinner read Zimmermann on "Solitude." I
fully agree with him as to the virtues of retirement,
but, for my own part, really to enjoy solitude I would
have one kindred spirit, as the poet says, to whom
to say, "How sweet is solitude!" When we wish
to commune with ourselves, to examine our weak-
nesses, and rebuild those parts which have not a
good foundation, then we must be alone. But it is
not in solitude or retirement that our strength is to
be tried, we must go into the midst of temptation
for that, we must be tried in actual service before
we can be pronounced strong. But, as none of us
are all evil, therefore none are fit for endless misery.
Every one has duties to perform in society, and
these are not to be omitted for your own selfish
gratification, every one has a sphere to fill, and, how-
ever small it may be, it is still to be filled and well
filled. Oh, dear! how easy it is to sit down and
2IS
say what one should do, to create your own little
world, and fill it with beings of your own fancy, to
be troubled by none of the cares or annoyances
which constantly assail you in real life, and in fact
to live in an ideal world of your own. Living as I
do here in Macao, if I went to bed every night feel-
ing that each moment of the day had been well em-
ployed, I should say, I have had no temptation to do
otherwise. Now this is what I call negative virtue,
and merits very little praise.
July 17. — This morning received some news-
papers ; do not see any news of importance, except
that peace is restored in America by the modification
of the tariff. So I hope they have done with
nullification, and that our President will presume
no more upon vetoes.
Mr. Stevens, the missionary in Canton, called to-
day, and for the life of me I could not think who
"Mr. Stevens" was, and what to say to him I
knew not. However, I asked him to sit down, and
I told him it was a hot day, which fact he seemed
to have been fully aware of, having walked through
the streets. I told him it had been raining very
violently, which he also seemed to know. Finding
that he would not contradict me, and knew so well
all I told him (thinking, I suppose, that I of course
knew his whole history, whereas I had not the
slightest idea of the animal), and finding that he
would not enlarge upon any of my safe observations,
I said I would call Mrs. L. , who fortunately remem-
bered his name, so I left her to entertain him. He
2l6
is a rosy-cheeked, bright-eyed fellow, but something
of a Goth I think, nevertheless Aunty asked him to
tea.
July 1 8. — Went out to Casilha's Bay in my
chair. Rainy weather; there is no such thing as
a walk, had a good shower while I was out. Sat at
the Bay some time with Mrs. M. , and chatted upon
different subjects. She had her little pet boy with
her, whom she considers a paragon of perfection.
All I can say for him is that he is the most disa-
greeable child I ever saw. I do not think it right
for mothers to select one of their children as a spe-
cial favorite. My lady went home, and I sat musing
still, and had a short chat with Sir George R., who
came up, waiting upon his son on horseback, a little
boy of six or seven. I do not know what papas at
home would think to have .to trot after children in
such a manner. Every day we meet Sir George
running by the side of the pony which carries one
of his children; three times in an afternoon he trots
out to Casilha's, and back again. I think, if he
knew the value of life, he would hardly be willing
to spend so much of it in tending babies, but every
one to their fancy, as the old woman said (when
she kissed the cow).
Titles do not always bring sense, nor cents, either,
as, for example, in this case. Saw a boat come in
from Canton this evening, and thought I should
get my letters, but comme d V ordinaire I was disap-
pointed. I despair of hearing from home again, but
I smiled and said, "My all was not laid there," was
217
not that heroic? I walked the terrace, and asked
myself if it was not a great weakness to feel disap-
pointed at such trifles ; but when I reflected that it
was but the result of natural affection, and that all
my happiness came from that quarter, I concluded
that it was not a trifle, that it was right and proper
that I should grieve, and that it was not weakness.
So you see how ready I am to excuse myself, and in
this instance I think I am justified, do not you, my
beauty? Uncle says brother Abbot was to leave
the 20th of March, so that I shall soon see him, 1
trust, and he will be able to answer all the ques-
tions I should wish to ask. Now I shall be so im-
patient ! The Empress of China is dead (or rather
the mother of the Emperor), and all the people will
have to mourn for a hundred days ; the men are not
allowed to shave for that space of time, so we shall
have beautiful-looking servants.
July 22. — Uncle came home about five o'clock
this morning. Brought me a long letter from my
friend in Canton, humbly apologizing for all that
has passed, expressing his regret, and lamenting the
dreary prospect before him, deprived of all hope,
etc. Having lost the powerful motive that has
hitherto actuated him, he dares not hope that any of
his good resolutions maybe kept, — a whole sheet
full of this, but I daresay "it is all in my eye," as
the boys say. I feel my heart grows harder every
day, my dear, and I am perfectly astonished when I
think how differently I view all that has passed
from what I did a few months since, arid wonder
2l8
what has produced the change. Why, in this in-
stance, it is reflection, and a thorough conviction
that all is best as it is. Circumstances I have no
power to change, therefore it behooves me to suit
myself to them. There, my dear, is not that philo-
sophical, does it not meet with your highest appro-
bation? This happy frame of mind which I happen
to be in is owing to a perfect state of bodily health,
which certainly has a great influence upon the moral
— or mental — condition. How long it will last I
will not pretend to say, but it shall be my aim to
keep it, for I am tired of moping. It seems foolish
to take out this book every morning to write you
such uninteresting accounts of my days, but in the
hope of coming to something better I go on through
thick and thin, as I do when reading a dry book,
fearing that I may lose something. So I go on
from day to day, hoping to find out for what I was
created, it seems impossible it can be only to pass
my days in such a manner. I suppose there must
be such beings in the world, if only to fill up the
chinks, but I do wish, if I am only to fill up a chink,
that I had had a quiet and contented spirit, and not
so much ambition, put into me. Well, since such
is the case, and Dame Fortune will treat me as she
pleases, I will e'en amuse myself as much as pos-
sible, and "study to be quiet," as Saint Paul tells
us. Every one is anxious for ships now, husbands
expecting wives, brothers sisters; and sisters
brothers and other friends. This is the return
season, as all who went home two years ago must
219
come back now. Moreover, all the English are
anxious about the renewal of the charter.
August 6. — To-night the rain held up for a while,
and Uncle and I went to the opera. We were very
much pleased with the music, but, when it was time
to go home, we looked out in despair. It was rain-
ing in torrents, nothing to be seen but water, and
the chairs appeared to be swimming. The coolies
with their enormous hats, wading up to their knees,
and with lanterns in their hands, presented a curious
picture. This was the scene below. Above, the
heavens appeared to be one sheet of flame, for the
lightning was incessant. What to do we did not
know, — it seems the house has sunk, and all the
drains were closed up, so that the water was all
around it as far as we could see. It reminded me
of the descriptions of Venice, and I took the chairs
for gondolas. At last, as we despaired of the rain's
ceasing, the gentlemen thought they would try to
bring the chairs up the steps and back us down. I
must confess I rather trembled at the prospect,
knowing the steps were so wet and slippery. How-
ever, I presently heard "Miss L. 's chair stops the
way," and I sallied forth with two gentlemen, I
forget who, to meet my fate, whatever it might be,
with all the courage of a heroine, in the midst of
thunder, lightning, rain, and darkness, and the roar-
ing of the Chinamen, which exceeded the thunder,
for they all holloa together, and thereby hear noth-
ing. I presently found myself shut up in my box,
and going down the steps backwards, rather an
220
awkward predicament, but I knew I must make the
best of it, and kept perfectly still. When I got
into the streets, I got along pretty well, till I found
my lanterns had gone out, and I was left at the
mercy o^ three Chinese coolies in the midst of the
dark streets. However, they lighted the lanterns
again, and I arrived at home safely, after much
tribulation, my face the color of scarlet, and my
head aching violently.
August 7. — This afternoon started for the Pefia,
the Campo was too wet. On the way we were
stopped by a group of gentlemen to inquire after my
health, after last night's frolic. In the group was
a ci-devant admirer of mine who had the politeness
(when he discovered who it was) to turn his back
to me without speaking. This is the one who last
year about this time vowed he would be my friend
forever, if he could be no more. So this is the
friendship of rejected lovers ! Well, there is one
comfort, I wish neither for his love nor his friend-
ship, they are not worth the keeping. I was ex-
ceedingly amused at his folly, for he gave everybody
reason to suppose what had happened. Came home
and talked to Uncle about the Chinese, their
cruelty, their recklessness of life, their belief con-
cerning a future state, etc. It is almost impossible
to know what they do believe, there is such a great
variety of sects. What makes me think that some
of them believe in traasmigration was reading some
letters to College, in which they said that, although
they could not pay him for his services in this
221
world, yet they would serve him as a horse in
another, with many other expressions of the same
kind. I recollect hearing a Hong merchant say
that, if he should live again as a man, he would be
a Chinaman, but, if a woman, he would be an Eng-
lishwoman. The other day I asked Achow where
that Empress would go, that died recently. He
said "to a good place." I asked, if she had been
a bad woman, would she go to a good place.' He
said, "No, more good, more better. " They are very
superstitious about the place in which they bury
their dead. Amwa, a merchant in Canton, whose
mother died two years ago, has just found a satisfac-
tory place to bury her in, having kept her above
ground all that time, and it seems he was not very
successful after all, for the late inundation came up
within two feet of her grave, so that he was in great
trouble, and obliged to have her taken up again.
They endeavor to get the driest place possible, and
have samples of the earth brought to them, that they
may judge of it. The rich about Macao bury their
dead on the tops of the highest hills, and put
around the graves an immense deal of stonework.
Caroline and I concluded the evening with one of
our old-fashioned frolics. I don't know when I
have laughed so much.
August II. — 'Another week gone, and what is
there to show it has been } To look back upon the
past three or four months, they seem to me a perfect
blank, or like a voyage at sea, nothing that I can
remember with any particular pleasure, or a moment
222
that I could wish to recall. It seems as though
every feeling but hunger and the desire to sleep
were extinct, and I almost fear they are, for I have
almost done hoping that I shall be capable of feel-
ing either pleasure or pain again, for it appears to
me that it is only by the constant exercise of the
feelings that they can be kept alive, they must die
without nourishment. Did not go to church this
morning, but took up a book which led me to reflect
a great deal upon original sin, but I am too lazy
now to give you the result of my reflections.
August 17. — We intended to have made some
calls this morning, but, alas ! we were made to feel
our dependence. We called for chair-bearers, but
they were not forthcoming, "no could catch. " You
might fancy from such an expression that they were
wild beasts or birds, but no, poor creatures, they
are far from that, but under bodily fear of every
petty mandarin who has the honor of wearing a but-
ton. It seems the mandarins have come short in
meeting their expenses, and so they have put an
extra "squeeze" upon the poor bearers, and, until
that is paid they forbid their carrying the chairs,
and their poor backs would suffer sadly did they
disobey the order. We cannot help pitying the
poor wretches who are subject to such tyranny, but
also feel annoyed that we are so dependent upon
them, for we lost not only our calls in the morning,
but our opera in the evening. Amused myself with
the Memoirs of the Duchesse d'Abrant^s, she is
so perfectly French in her feelings and style of
223
writing that I laugh heartily at times. It is truly
a woman's book, that is, she is so minute, dwells
a great deal upon "pretty white hands," "pearly
teeth," "curling hair," and "white foreheads."
There is a great deal of nonsense in the book, but
upon the whole it gives you a good idea of the state
of society at the time. It is more a history of pri-
vate life than of public events.
August 20. — That good-for-nothing personage, the
Sotow, has not yet recalled his order respecting the
chair-bearers, but not choosing "to trust our charms
to the perilous keeping of Caffre-men's arms," we
made ourselves independent, and with the aid of
Mr. G. got to the opera very comfortably on foot.
It was a fine evening, but the pavements of the
streets are horrible, they remind me often of "Old
Paved Street" in Salem, in days of yore, but per-
haps worse. The whole width of the street is very
little wider than the sidewalk there, and paved in
the same way. We had some fine music, and I en-
joyed the opera much. Messrs. H. and G. walked
home with us. How you would stare to see the ex-
hibitions that we see in the streets! They are
literally lined with sleeping Chinese and Caff res.
They make "the cold flinty rock" their pillow, and
lie there at the mercy of cockroaches and mosquitoes,
though I much doubt whether the latter could make
any impression upon their well-tanned hides.
August 22. — As usual, I spent the whole day at
my books. Aunt L. was not well to-day, and so
bon gr^, mal grd, I must stay at home, for the idea of
224
a spinster walking out alone is an enormity we
never could be supposed guilty of. There is no
gentleman here that I can call upon, and, even if
there were, it would be another crime for me to go
out unattended by a chaperon. Oh, hard is the lot
of spinsters in Macao ! Aunty and I fully agree
upon these points, and I cannot enumerate the thou-
sand little ways in which we are compelled to sur-
render our own wills to those of other people. I
verily think, if I were condemned to live here for
ten years, I should go crazy ! After dinner I had
the pleasure of receiving letters from home. They
were satisfactory, inasmuch as they assured me of
your health, for which I thank God most sincerely,
but they refer to old letters, and you do not at all
seem to feel that it is a long time since I heard
from you. From October to May is a great space.
However, I shall wait patiently till I can see Abbot.
You tell me you are married with as much indiffer-
ence as though you told me you had dined. I
should be most happy to know when A. sailed, but
that I cannot find out. Our boys all seem to be
separating, to seek their fortunes here, there, and
everywhere. Now, my dear, I have come to the end
of another book. I tremble for some of the last, as
I know I have expressed my sentiments often, and
perhaps not fully enough to be understood. I have
regretted this sometimes, as I think they may lead
my dear father to suppose that my morals are more
corrupt than they really are. Not that I should
mind your all knowing every sentiment of my heart
225
if I could but talk and explain, but in writing one
often gives a different sense for want of explana-
tion. I hope you will all make due allowances, and
believe I mean well, whatever I may chance to
write.
BOOK VII.
MACAO, AUG. 24 TO NOV. 16, 1 833.
August 2/^-2^. — Are you not tired, my dear, of
my importunity? For such it may be called, I
think, when it comes to the seventh volume, and,
now that all the delightful cares of matrimony are
coming thick upon you, I sadly fear I shall not re-
ceive such patient attention as heretofore. It has
been a burning hot day; about two o'clock the
breeze strengthened, and there was every prospect
of a visitation from one of the Typhoon family; by
seven very little doubt about it, as Achow says,
"It's Typhoon he own," that is, himself. We
were watching the destruction of our comforts,
which were vanishing like chaff before the wind.
One after another of our mats flew off, and the tiles
came tumbling from the roof, and destroyed our
grotto, that monument of our industry. The un-
sparing hands of the coolies pulled down my pretty
vines to save the pots from destruction. The sever-
ity of the gale was over before ten o'clock, and I
hope it was not so bad as that of last year. But I
feel so anxious about Abbot that I cannot be easy,
he has been out now five months, and it is quite
time he was here. Went to bed, but not to sleep,
for the house seemed like a perfect Babel ; the wind
blew a tremendous gale from the south-east, and
227
although the windows i.dre bolted and lashed and
fastened in every possible way, it seemed as though
they could not stand the force of the wind. Now
this morning it continues, and the house is as dark
as Erebus. I have got my Venetians tilted a little,
so that I can just see to write. The Chinese say it
will be worse to-morrow. The house rocks now
like a cradle.
^Qtk. — This morning found us still in bed at
half -past nine. Having had no sleep the night be-
fore, and the house being dark as midnight, we did
not awake. The wind is still blowing furiously,
and it is raining in torrents. Aunt L. and my
little bird and I sit all day long in one corner of
the room at the only window from which we can get
any light, our only interruption being the coolie
coming with his tub and cloth to save us from
drowning, for windows in China are not made to
keep out rain, and every now and then we find our-
selves in a pond of water. But the coolie discovers
our situation by its dripping through (to his quarters
below), and comes to our relief. I can easily fancy
a person in prison becoming attached to a spider
after a time. I am sure I should feel quite melan-
choly without my bird. He seems to get very pen-
sive now and then, but then again he says, like his
mistress, "What is the use of sighing.'" and cheers
us with a merry song. To think, my dear sis, of
your si,ster living without a care but that of feeding
a bird, she who spent her young days as one of the
most diligent of her sex! Well, I look back to
228
those days with pleasure, and would willingly have
as much to do now.
September (). — ^This morning, while we were at
breakfast, who should come in but Uncle, looking
like death. Poor soul ! I never saw a person so
altered in so short a time, but I daresay Macao air
will soon restore him. He had landed a long way
out, having got very impatient in the boat, and had
walked so far that he was quite faint when he came
in, but before night he looked better. College
came to see him, and I hope will soon cure him.
Canton is now in a terrible state; the river has
risen so high that it has completely deluged whole
villages above the city, the houses have fallen in,
many thousands of Chinamen have been killed, and
the rice is ruined. They cannot move out of their
Hongs in Canton except in boats; Uncle says the
water was up to their doors.
September ir. — We were all just comfortably in
bed to-night, when I heard the outer door open, and
soon after a knock at my own door, and in a second
I was in ray brother's arms. How rejoiced I was I
leave you to imagine. The thought that after all
my anxiety he had arrived safely, and the strange
feeling of seeing one of my brothers here, and the
excitement altogether, quite drove sleep from my
eyes. He brought me oceans of letters, but I left
them till morning.
1 2th. — Got up early, and ordered a bath for Abbot,
and the barber, which was very necessary, for hia
head and face were enveloped in a mass of hair of
229
four months' growth, and you could scarcely discern
his features. He is as brown as a mulatto, and has
grown a little taller, otherwise I see no change.
He is astonished at Uncle's appearance, but thinks
that, with the exception of having lost my color, I
have not altered at all. I have never passed so
happy a day in China, with such genuine home
feelings. If Uncle were only well ! I have at last
found out that you were married just four days be-
fore Caroline. Rather singular that we should both
have been engaged in wedding preparations in such
different parts of the world ! I have talked to A.
all day, and now feel acquainted with you all ; you
will not be such strangers to me when I come home.
Dr. College says that Uncle requires great care, and
that it will not do for him to go back to Canton for
at least six weeks. I am astonished to hear Abbot
say he does not like reading. I thought he was
fond of it, but | find business is his ruling passion,
and he is already impatient to get to Canton and
begin operations. Received your wedding-cake this
morning, my dear, it is super- excel lent, I never
tasted better.
September 2'^. — Abbot left us for Canton at ten
o'clock this morning, and it is hard to have him go,
for I may not see him again for five or six years, but
he was quite impatient to be employed, and I could
keep him no longer. Uncle went out in a chair to-
day for the first time, he is much better.
26ih. — We spent the evening in talking about
going home. Only think, to leave here in January !
230
I have hardly dared to believe the hints I have
heard to that effect before, but now I think it is
Uncle's intention, if possible. Oh! how delighted
I shall be, and I feel almost sure the long sea voyage
will restore Uncle's health !
October 5. — College told Uncle to-day that he
could not leave this place too soon, that the north-
erly winds that are coming are too bracing, and that
he thinks the voyage home may restore him. I
wish he could leave at once, but there would be
a disadvantage in that, because we should get to the
coast in a bad month. We feel very anxious, as
the north winds that have begun blowing make him
very uncomfortable. Oh, how I long to be among
you, it seems as though I could hardly wait ! Had
a letter from A. this morning, and wrote him one
in return. We keep up a pretty steady fire. I
admire his stability of character, and prudence. I
think he bids fair to make a sterling man.
October g. — College told Aunt L. this morning
that she could not get her husband off too soon, that
he never would be any better here, so we may get
off in a month. Busy all the morning cutting out
\ work, but the thought of the end in view softened
all my labors, and I would willingly wear the skin
off my fingers, were it necessary, for the sake of
leaving this place. Uncle expresses great astonish-
ment at my industry, and hopes it will continue. I
only want a motive to exertion, and no one is more
active. Am sadly afraid I shall not be able to fill
up this book before we go, for want of ideas, as
231
they are all concentrated at the present time on
linen and a sea voyage. So, my dear, you must not
expect much. Finished Uncle's flannel jackets at
ten o'clock this evening, and glad I am, for I am
quite tired of the sight of them. We could not
give them to the tailors, for they smoke everything
they take, and, unless the things are to be washed,
it is very unpleasant.
October ig. — Dined at Caroline's, with Captain
and Mrs. H. She is a very pleasant woman. She
struck us rather singularly, as she had her hair
dressed in the new style,* as plain as possible,
parted on the forehead, and put up plain or braided
on the top of the head in a round lump, and two
little "spit curls," as Mrs. Trollope says, at the
side. She has a small face, and, after the eye be-
came accustomed to this style, it did not look so
badly, but it would be very trying to most faces.
Uncle seems very feeble to-day, owing to having
leeches on last night.
24ik. — Uncle sent up this afternoon to have our
passages taken by the "Waterloo," sailing the
middle of November. He is obliged to give up the
hope of going to Canton again, which is a great dis-
appointment to him, but everything must yield to
illness.
October 28. — This morning went to work at pack-
ing directly after breakfast, and was on my feet till
three. Am happy to inform you that I have found
the use of both my feet and my hands, and display
* The style still prevalent was masses of large puffs on each side of the face and
very large, high combs. — Ed.
232
much less reluctance in packing now than when I
last thought of spending four months on the water.
We have enough to do, I assure you, packing things
to send home, things for the voyage, and things to
make ready for auction and for England, besides
attending to Uncle and writing for him.
$isi. — The last day of October. This time last
year I was at Lintin, how everything has changed
since then ! Went to dine with Caroline, she had
Dr. Bennett there, a famous phrenologist, who is
travelling about the world. He is exceedingly
agreeable, and we had considerable conversation
upon different subjects. He says he is well ac-
quainted with L. E. L. (Miss Landon), the poetess,
and told her character very correctly. He says she
is a most agreeable person when she pleases, but is
sometimes quite the reverse. She has great talents,
but is dreadfully satirical, and exceedingly fond of
flattery. Dr. Bennett is acquainted with all the
literary people of note in England, and gave me a
little sketch of the characters of many whose works
i am acquainted with, Mrs. Hemans, Mrs. Norton,
Miss Jewsbury (lately married), Mr. Bulwer, etc.
He spoke of Dr. Spurzheim, who died in America,
and of his great talents. Says he was most eloquent
as a lecturer, but not so great a practical phrenolo-
gist as many others.
November 2. — A dreadfully hot, oppressive day,
thermometer standing about 84°. A. sent me
a pair of Chinawoman's shoes, which I shall bring
or send home for your first girl. They will fit
233
her when she is about a week old. It seems
incredible that they can wear such things, but I
have seen them as small upon the Campo. After
dinner wrote letters for Uncle, and began the work
of destruction in my own room by tearing up two
large baskets full of them, which made me sad, but
it is impossible to keep them all. I have not yet
torn up one-third, and not one of my really valu-
able ones.
November 9.-:- Busy this morning preparing a
bonnet for sea. Mr. C. and Captain R. called, and
I talked till my throat was sore. These Yankees
do make such unconscionable morning visits that
they quite wear one's patience out. I had exhausted
all my stock of small talk, and was indebted to the
boy's setting the table at last, which saved me
from being "hard up," as the sailors say. Abbot
has come down from Canton, with Uncle James
Low. He looks pale, and thinner than when he
went up, but he is very well, and it is only the
effect of living in dark Hongs where they never see
the sun. They quite put us ladies to the blush,
they look so much more delicate. [To "look deli-
cate" was the height of a young lady's ambition, at
this period. — Ed.'\
\2th. — This morning we sallied forth "to see the
world, and falter out Adieu. " Saying adieu in this
place is not like saying it in most others ; it is true
that people do not care much about each other, and
do not pretend to, and in saying good-bye there is
more envy than anything else in the feelings of
234
those who stay, so they all congratulate you, and
hope their turn will come next. Still, say what
you will, it is not pleasant to leave the most indif-
ferent with the thought that it is the last time we
may ever meet.
November 16. — I am nearly all packed up, and
think to-morrow my book must be. I hope my next
will be more full of incidents, and therefore more
interesting. I shall have no time to write any more
letters till I get on board our "Castle." Think,
my dear, of a ship of thirteen hundred tons ! You
never saw such a one. The accommodations are
fine, and I think of it with pleasure. Captain
Roundy arrived after dinner. It is very odd, he
has been with us at all our embarkations, and has
now come to see us safe off. He is one of our best
friends, I think, and so few deserve the name that
they are worth keeping who are such. Mr. Chin-
nery called this afternoon to bid us good-bye. Spent
the evening with Caroline. Felt very triste, and I
am sure they all thought me very stupid. To-
morrow we shall be packing up, and on Tuesday we
shall probably go on board, there to remain till we
reach St. Helena, which will find us much nearer
home than we are now. The one prime object is to
restore Uncle's health; for that, as well as for
everything else, we must rely solely on the One
Being who orders all things. My daily prayer is
that we may all live to meet once more in our own
land, where we can dwell with those whom we call
our own. I am tired of living among strangers, as
235
I have often told you before, and I sigh to be again
at home.
Thus finishes my life in China. It is useless to
make reflections upon it, suffice it to say that it has
been like everything else, variable. Clouds will
rise wherever we are, and the sun will shine, and I
can say has very often shone upon me in China.
Therefore with gratitude for all the peace and quiet
I have enjoyed, and hoping the troubles will serve
for my good, I close my book, and trust myself to
Him
" Who has spread out the skies
And measured the depths of the sea."
BOOK VIII. PART I.
ON BOARD HON. E. I. C. SHIP "WATERLOO,"
NOV. 19, 1833-JAN. 13, 1834.
" Once more upon the waters, yet once more."
Nov. 19, 1833. — Left Macao this morning at
nine o'clock, with brother A. and various friends to
see us off, and after a little squeeze by the manda-
rins, and satisfying the boat-girls, we made sail,
and left Macao I trust forever. Four years' resi-
dence there cools one's love of it, and I for one give
up all the pleasures and comforts it does possess
without a sigh. I shall often think of it, and with
much pleasure; time, like the grave, will bury many
of the thousand annoyances I had there, and I trust
it was not all time spent in vain. But to proceed
with our voyage. Our "Lorcha" made sail with
a fair wind, cool and delightful, and we were along-
side our "Castle," which sat like a rock in the
water, at eleven o'clock. Our party was all cheer-
ful, none of us was at all seasick, we were whipped
on board, oUr friends saw us safe in our cabins in
the midst of tons of baggage, and had only time to
say a few words, as the boatmen hurried them off,
and our ship was soon under way. Well, we have
to make the best of these things, and with a few
tears, and a wave of my handkerchief as they passed
237
our stern, I lost sight of them all in a few minutes.
God bless them ! We were soon obliged to give
orders about our cabins, everything must be
"cleeted " and "lashed," to keep them from "fetch-
ing away, ' ' and the most must be made of the room.
Fortunately, we remained pretty well till about
dark, as the ship was steady, and the sea very
smooth, but the wind increased, and we were very
glad to seek our couches. Poor Uncle, sick as he
was, was the only one not quite helpless, and, in-
stead of our nursing him, he was obliged to turn
nurse himself.
November 20. — I awoke this morning, but with
no desire to move, speak, or look at an)rthing; I was
sure I was alive, but I cared very little whether I re-
mained so, or whether any one else did. I defy
any one, even the most brilliant colorist, to depict
the horrors of seasickness. O tempora, O mores!
I shall never forget this day !
November 22. — To-day, finding ourselves much
better, we dressed, and went to the "cuddy" table
to dinner. Methinks I hear you query, "What, or
where, is the cuddy?" Well, I can only tell you
that in land phraseology it is the dining-room, a
room that goes the whole width of the ship (with
the exception of a small cabin off at one end), in
front of our rooms. We met at table here the cap-
tain, the first and second officers, the purser, the
doctor, two other passengers, and a little sick boy,
named Johnny. We were introduced to those we
were not already acquainted with, and relished our
238
dinner very well, felt marvellously refreshed and
comforted. Poor Uncle is not well enough to come
out, and is obliged to dine alone. After dinner we
went upon the poop and had tea, a clear sky above
us, and about eight thousand yards of canvas to waft
us along, assisted by a good breeze. I enjoyed the
perfect order of the ship, everything goes on with
so little noise that it is really surprising when you
consider there are one hundred and fifty men on
board. Have read a little to-day, for the first time,
and begin to feel like myself.
November io. — The cool breeze lasted till about
ten this morning, when it died away, and now it is
as hot as possible; it is difficult to breathe, the air
is so close. When I got up and looked to see what
I could see, I discovered the long low coast of Su-
matra on one side, stretching a long distance with-
out any inequality of surface as far as the eye could
reach. The island of Banca on the other side pre-
sents hills and valleys, which is far more agreeable
to the eye. There was also a brig in sight, which
we soon left astern, and a Chinese junk, which
looked quite natural. We were obliged to anchor
about six, as the wind was quite gone, and we were
drifting on to the Sumatra shore. I could see with
the glass that this coast is completely covered with
wood, not a habitation is to be seen, indeed it is
nothing but a marsh, and the trees come actually
into the water. A hot night, went below and
thought I should certainly not sleep, but I threw
myself down and slept soundly till seven o'clock,
239
and they fiddled, weighed anchor, and made sail,
and I knew nothing of it.
December 2. — By the help of squalls and a favor-
able tide, we managed to get out of the Straits
about two. Passed the shoals safely, but had sev-
eral narrow escapes. Had a most uncomfortable
night, for in addition to the heat we had a quantity
of mosquitoes, which we took in at Banca, as sou-
venirs, I suppose, of that delightful place. They
were buzzing about all night.
December 4. — When I got out of bed this morn-
ing, it was blowing a little gale, with a great deal
of rain and very heavy thunder and lightning. How-
ever, we are steering our course and getting on, and
anything is better than a calm. After dinner I
thought I heard the ship's bell tolling, and, opening
our door to see what it was, I saw everybody as-
sembled at the gangway, about to consign one of
our men to a watery grave. We were not aware
that he had died, but it seems he had been sick ever
since he left England, and died this morning about
six. The captain read the burial service over the
body, and then it was consigned to the deep, and all
went on as before. Such an event to a thoughtful
mind calls forth solemn reflections, but it has much
less effect here than on one of our small ships, for
among so many one is not missed. There is some-
thing awful in the sound of the last splash, though.
December 5. — Went on deck this morning to look
at a ship which was approaching us. She proved to
be an American, but we were braced sharp on the
240
wind, and could not go near her. I wish you would
make my compliments to General Jackson, and re-
quest him to order our ships to learn to talk. The
English ships all have "Marryat's signals,"* which
enable them to converse on any subject (even meta-
physics) , but our ships have not arrived at that pitch
of perfection. This was a large ship, but she had
no bunting, and was dumb.
December 6. — Got under weigh this morning
(after being at anchor all night), with a strong head
wind. A fine morning, and we had a pleasant run
to Anjer, where we anchored at twelve o'clock.
The scenery about here is very beautiful, the land
very high, and covered with verdure. Along the
coast grow cocoanuts and plantains, and it is such
a contrast to all that we have seen in China that it
is quite enchanting to our eyes. The purser went
on shore as soon as we arrived, carried our letters,
and procured all the good things he could find, but
brought us no news. Plenty of proas lying along-
side, bringing fruits of different kinds, monkeys,
birds, shells, etc. The Malays disfigure themselves,
to our eyes, by chewing betel-nut, which makes
their teeth quite black, but they do not consider
themselves presentable until their teeth are black,
and filed off besides. What different ideas differ-
ent nations have of beauty, as well as everything
else! Ever)rthing looks just as it did when we were
here before, but then our feelings were different,
and all was novel. The captain and most of the
* A system of signals invented by Captain Marryat, the famous novelist. Bom
1792 1 died 1848.— EJ.
241
others went on shore after dinner, and wished me to
go with them, but Aunt L. could not leave Uncle,
and I did not like to go without her, and besides
they were going to sail, which I dislike very much.
The captain is disappointed at not getting any more
passengers, but they were not forthcoming. The
town looks very pretty from the ship, and after dark
the fishermen make fires all along the shore to
attract the fish, which has a very pretty effect.
December 7. — Had a fine run out of the Straits of
Sunda to-day. Passed very near the Island of
Cockatoo, which is the prettiest spot I have seen
for some time. It was completely covered with
woods and quite green; one high peak, with lower
hills around it, was beautiful. Before night we
had a strong breeze, and were very sure that we
were once more at sea, and shall probably have to
undergo another siege of seasickness. How many
times have I wished with the sailor that, "if Bri-
tannia ruled the waves, she'd rule them straighter " !
December 10. — Still going on well, though by
squalls. It blows ten furies, and then dies away.
Uncle does not seem so much better as I thought
he would in this cooler weather. His symptoms
are no better, and I feel quite discouraged at times.
I heard the ship's bell tolling again this morning,
and another body was consigned to the deep. We
have sixteen now on the sick list. I am almost
tired of walking at an angle of forty-five degrees,
and fetching up in a corner, but I will not com-
plain, for we have been highly favored in regard to
weather.
242
December \ if. — A fine breeze still, and we have
made a good week's work of it. We were very fort-
unate in taking the trades so soon after leaving
Anjer, which we did not expect to do at this season.
We have run over one thousand three hundred miles
this week, and have three thousand and some hun-
dreds yet to run before reaching the Cape, which, if
we average two hundred miles a day, we can do in
three weeks. Uncle has asked the captain to-day
to leave us at the Cape, as the climate and accom-
modations will be much better there than at St.
Helena. The captain has been wanting an excuse
to stop there, and thinks this will do, but has not
yet decided. The doctor thinks it would be much
the best thing. Uncle proposed that I should leave
them at the Cape, and either go to St. Helena, to
wait for Uncle James, or go on to England, but I
should be unwilling to leave him in his present
state, although I would jump at the proposal, could
I see him in a fair way to recover.
December 17. — A rainy day, and quite calm,
going only two knots part of the time, a state of
weather very disagreeable in itself, but in these
latitudes made doubly so by often being the pre-
cursor of a gale. So you see, my dear, we run from
one danger to another, we have left the rocks and
shoals behind us for the present, and we are now in
these tempestuous seas, nearly in the latitude of the
Isles of France and Bourbon, where they have tre-
mendous hurricanes. This reminds me of the affect-
ing story of "Paul and Virginia," which deeply
243
interested us both in our childish days. These
hurricanes are very sudden ; a year or two since, the
"Duneira" an English ship, had her three masts
snapped off in five minutes ; they sometimes last an
hour, and not a cloud to be seen. The captain told
us to-day that he had made up his mind to leave us
at the Cape, so we shall have the chance (if we live
to arrive) of trying that climate for Uncle. He is
very feeble to-day. I do not mention him daily,
but you may judge how many of our thoughts are
given to his condition. I am happy to inform you,
my dear, that I got a new idea at dinner to-day,
which I am glad to impart to you, and which I
think surpasses anything a spinster ever dreamed of,
and that is, that sugar is extracted from old clothes !
Query : how many old coats and shirts would it take
to sweeten a cup of coffee.' After this, I shall not
be surprised at anything. I must confess I could
not restrain an incredulous laugh, but the asserter
of this marvellous fact says it is veritable.
December 27. — Fair morning and good breeze,
but pitching in a most inhuman manner. Have
been reading Boswell's "Tour in the Hebrides with
Dr. Johnson," and find it very interesting, but I
cannot understand how a man of Boswell's abilities
could have been such a shadow to Johnson ; it ap-
pears to have been a complete infatuation on his
part. I think, begging his pardon, that the doctor
must have been a disagreeable companion. I find
that Johnson complained of his exile of a month or
two in those islands, and begged Boswell to return.
244
that he might "commence existence again " ; it is-
a waste of life, he said. Do you know, I begin to
think I was justified in complaining of my residence
in Macao? I wonder what the old doctor would
have said, had he been shut up there for four or five
years ? He says a ship is as bad as a jail, with the
fear of being drowned in addition.
December 30. — A splendid run of two hundred
and fifty-four miles since noon yesterday, with
which the captain professes himself satisfied. Went
on deck after having read an hour in what seems to
me a very silly book, "Contarini Fleming." I
fancied it ought to be good, because it was written
by the author of "Vivian Grey." Talked and
walked awhile with the captain. We were very
much amused by the sailors, who were manufactur-
ing a donkey. We saw this thing walking round
the capstan, and it afforded us a good laugh. Two
men composed it, with something thrown over them,
and swabs, old shoes, and a variety of other things-
seemed to make up the animal. It had two panniers
by its sides, and was ridden by a monkey. The
poor thing seemed to have less amusement than any
one, as it was tied on, and its hands were tied be-
hind it. Speaking of monkeys, the sailors have
fifty or sixty on board, and it is very amusing to see
them frisking about. They never come aft.
Jan. I, 1834. — "Pleasant, with light airs," d, la
Log-book. I therefore, with like pleasure and
calmness, wish you all, my dear friends, a happy
New Year, and hope that next time I may do it in
245
propria persona. My thoughts have often wandered
to you to-day, my dear sister, and I have wondered
whether married ladies sit for company to-day, or
whether it is only for spinsters. The captain says
he expects to land lis at the Cape in a week. Oh,
dear! I' don't want to go among strangers again,
but it must be done ! Went on deck after dinner,
a glorious evening. It is not dark now till eight
o'clock, and light again at four, so our nights are
very short.
January 4. — I was awakened this morning by the
pelting of books, which came into my couch by
dozens from a book-shelf over my head. Thanks to
my good condition I had no bones broken. A vio-
lent gale began about four this morning, and contin-
ued to blow with great violence till twelve, when it
gradually diminished. I will not pretend to say
that I saw much of the sublime outside, but I can
vouch for the ridiculous inside. Had I not been
violently sick, I might have enjoyed the sport, but
I defy any one to be amused with anything in such
a situation. I did manage to look out of my win-
dows, and the sea was one sheet of foam, and our
great ship seemed trembling for its safety. The
wind was dead ahead, and we only had three storm-
sails set, all the usual sails were furled. The
sky was perfectly clear, and the air pure and
dry, with the thermometer between 68° and 70° all
day.
January J. — A dead calm. Seven weeks to-day
since we embarked ; we thought to have been at the
246
Cape to-day, but there is a chance, if this weather
holds, that we may be here a week longer. Some
of our ofiScers have been nine weeks getting round
the Cape. Our luck seems to have blown away in
the gale. The black cats are petted, but all to no
effect. Our captain pretends to have great faith in
these creatures, but he is far too sensible a man to
put faith in such superstitions. However, they (the
black cats) are always treated with great respect,
while the poor tortoise-shell cat is sadly abused, if
she goes farther aft than the mainmast.
January 11. — A nearly fair wind. The captain
thinks, if the wind holds, that we shall see the Cape
of Good Hope to-morrow morning. I cannot realize
as yet that we are going on shore again; while we
have nothing in sight but sea and sky it seems im-
possible. Went on deck after dinner, and found
Cape Agulhas nearly abreast of us ; it is low land,
and takes its name from its resemblance to an
eagle.
January 12. — A fine day, with a fresh, fair
breeze. Looked out after breakfast, and found we
had the Cape of "Good Hope" nearly abeam. At-
tended prayers on deck, being Sunday, then went to
look at the chart. We are sailing past rapidly.
Table Mountain was covered, as the captain says,
"with a cloth," which looked light and airy, but is
said to be the sure sign of a south-east gale. This
mountain is 3,582 feet high; I wonder if I shall
ever attempt its summit. Our abode will be at the
foot of it. The land all along here is black and
247
barren ; not a trace of a shrub or anything green
have we seen as yet ; not much to be wondered at
perhaps, when we think of the scorching suns and
the bleak winds that are continually playing over it.
The purser will go on shore to-night, and get some
accommodations for us, and we shall land to-morrow
morning. I almost dread it for Uncle, he is so
weak, but we must trust to Providence ; we do what
we think for the best, and I hope he will benefit by
it. After I wrote the above, and we came nearer
the shore, there was enough to delight the eye. We
anchored about four o'clock. The health boat came
off, told us of the annihilation of the E. I. Com-
pany's charter as a trading body, of the abolition of
slavery in the West Indies, and various other mat-
ters, but nothing of America. Query : Where is
the English government to get ;£20, 000,000 sterl-
ing for the emancipation of her slaves? Well,
never mind that. It will be proper, before I pro-
ceed, to say what I think of Cape Town as seen in
the distance. It has a most singular appearance,
the land is so curiously formed. Table Mountain
is directly back of the town, and well deserves its
name. Its top is so flat that it actually looks as
though it had been planed off, its sides, apparently,
are rugged and barren. There is a very curious
peak near it called the "Cloof " I believe. The
town itself looks pretty, and more like civilization
than anything I have seen for a long time. Table
Bay is not deep, and is a shelter for ships only in
the south-east monsoon, or trade-winds. A most
248
lovely evening. Took my last walk on the "Water-
loo" with the captain and Mr. C. Never shall I
forget her, though, every one has been so kind and
attentive that I shall hold them all in grateful
remembrance.
PART II.
CAPE TOWN, JAN. 1 3 TO MAY 5, 1 834.
January 13. — This morning the air feels sharp
and cool, and reminds me of our delightful May
mornings in America; it brought the color into my
cheeks at once, and it actually seemed as though I
was breathing my own native air. We breakfasted
at half-past seven, and had ourselves and our bag-
gage put into the boats. Uncle had a couch ar-
ranged so he could be put on shore very comfort-
ably. We were landed at the jetty about nine, and
a coachman walked up to us, and said the car-
riage was ready. A novel sound to us, for we have
not seen a carriage for nearly five years. Never-
theless, we jumped into it, and drove to our boarding-
house. Everything looks strange, of course, but,
though I do not feel at home yet, I feel as though
I was nearer to it. I shall never be able to tell
you of all the strange things I have seen, but here
I am, on Afric's shores, and by degrees you will
know how and where we live. To describe my feel-
ings would be impossible, they were so mixed ; you
may imagine them if you can.
We drove to our boarding-house then, and were
introduced to a very pretty and genteel young lady,
whose name I learned was Crugwagen. Her mother,
who is a widow with two daughters, keeps the estab-
2SO
lishment The daughters speak English, and have
the charge of things. They had a breakfast ready
for us which we could not resist. Oh ! the deli-
cious bread and butter, the tempting apricots, figs,
and grapes ! We are just in time for fruit of all
kinds. Soon after breakfast we had the pleasure of
seeing a Highland regiment pass, and hearing the
most delightful band ; it seemed as though all our
senses were to be regaled at once. I was in a maze,
I assure you; I sat at the window all day long, gaz-
ing out. Every one seemed so busy, and there were
so many people moving about. What astonished us
most was to see ladies so plentiful, and walking
about so briskly in the middle of the day. Our
officers were in and out all the morning, but at two
went on board, after having bid us adieu. Had
a delightful dinner, and such an appetite! After
dinner, as the carriage was at our disposal for the
day, and Uncle felt too tired to go out, the two
young ladies and I had a delightful drive. We
went to Green Point, and saw the "Waterloo,"
some way out and with all her sails set. God bless
them all ! Stopped on our way home and got some
splendid flowers, mignonette, heliotrope, and a thou-
sand others that I have no names for. The weather
is delightful ; the people here call it warm, but we
do not. I noticed, while driving, a hill covered
with geranium growing wild. We passed some
lovely little cottages with grape-vines growing over
them, forming such a pretty contrast with the white
houses. The houses all have flat roofs, and at first
had a very odd appearance, but I begin to like it.
251
January 14. — Dr. Murray called this morning to
see Uncle. Says he must go directly into the
country where he will have finer air, and that he is
to have no medicine, but to eat everything good, in
fact to live on the fat of the land, which is rich
enough, I assure you. I do hope Dr. Murray will
cure Uncle, I really have hope again, he is a most
skilful physician. After dinner I went to walk
with Miss F. in the Company's Gardens, a most
delightful shady walk, very extensive, and with two
rows of oaks on each side. It is laid out in large
squares, and turfed, and seems to be the resort of
ladies and gentlemen and children.
January 16. — Am still amused looking out of the
windows, and watching the variety of faces, African,
Hottentot, and Caffres, all ugly enough in their way.
The ladies all look alike, that is their dresses. We
find ourselves quite outr^, but I do not care much.
Miss Crugwagen and I dressed and went shopping
this morning, a thing I have not done for five years.
I made poor work at it, for I did not understand
their money at all. Rix-dollars and schellings are
new to me. We went to Mr. Vallet's Museum, and
saw a great collection of stuffed animals, birds, and
snakes, natives of this country, and a great variety
of insects and butterflies from Rio, but among all
the birds I saw none to equal Mr. Beale's bird of
Paradise. The new governor. Sir Benjamin D' Ur-
ban, his lady and suite, landed this morning, and
there has been such a running to and fro by the
slaves to get a peep at him ; they all fancy they are
252
to be liberated at once. Poor creatures, they will
never be so comfortable and well off as they are
now, in my opinion ! In this family they are
treated more like children than servants, I never
saw anything to exceed the kindness.
January 17. — A south-west wind blowing, which
is considered very bad for invalids. Poor Uncle
soon felt the ill effect of it. The clouds of sand
were so thick that we could not see across the street.
We were obliged to close every window, and even
then the sand came in. The south-east winds, they
say, are much worse. I have often heard of them.
Every place, as well as everybody, must have its
"something."
\<^th. — ^ Sunday, and a rainy morning. Went to
the English service, which is held at eleven, the
church is just opposite our house. Heard a pretty
good sermon, and was delighted with the organ. I
heard one of the familiar tunes we used to sing. I
cannot tell you how pleased and yet how sad I felt.
The English, I am astonished to find, have been in-
debted to the Dutch for the use of their church for
the last twenty years, and have just begun to build
one. Sunday is very strictly observed here, the
town was as still as Salem on Sunday, at Macao the
day was just like any other.
January 21. — I wish you could take a peep at our
breakfast table, we have seven different kinds of
fruit upon it, and the most delicious ones of all,
green and purple grapes, fresh figs, pears, apricots,
peaches, green gages, and damson plums, and some-
253
times mulberries, then, besides, we have the most
delicious bread and butter, etc., so you may judge
that I eat a good breakfast. I expect before long to
be a "dicker fatty," as the Dutch say. I have such
sport with this language ! I hear it constantly
spoken here, but I doubt if I ever speak it ; I have
tried to pronounce many words, but they are so gut-
tural I cannot. The above and one other word make
the chief of my Dutch vocabulary at present. This
morning being very fine, Aunt L. went into the
country to Kirstenbosch, to see the house where we
intend going as soon as the doctor thinks best. I
stayed at home to take care of Uncle, who certainly
seems much better. Spent the evening upon the
' ' stoop, ' ' amusing myself with Dutch words.
January 29. — Finished packing this morning, and
made ready to leave our kind friends, and go again
among strangers, however I am not long in making
myself at home anywhere now. I shall never forget
the kindness of this family. We bade them good-
bye about half-past three, and, accompanied by Dr.
Murray, had a most delightful ride through one of
the most charming countries I ever saw. Nature
seems to have done her best to bring all things to
perfection, and to have concentrated them all here.
The tall pines and magnificent oaks that line the
roads are larger than those in our own forests, the
"silver tree " grows in great abundance and looks
very beautiful, and there is a great variety of heaths
in full flower to delight the eye, and "any quan-
tity " of blackberries might have delighted the taste,
254
could we have stopped to get them. We arrived at
Kirstenbosch about half-past four ; it is a most de-
lightful little thatched cottage situated on the side
of the mountain, and, being high up, we have a fine
view of the country around us. We were kindly
received by our host, hostess, and daughter, a very
genteel and respectable family, who all speak Eng-
lish. The air is very different here from that in
town, cool and bracing, arid I do hope it may be
beneficial to Uncle. He bore the ride well, and is
quite comfortable after it. We are upon the other
side of the mountain now, and not exposed to the
south-easters, nor so much scorched by the sun.
There is a vast difference in the two, I assure you.
Dr. Murray left us after having seen us safely
landed, and we surveyed the premises. My room
would look quite English, were it not for the floor
of Dutch tiles. It opens on to the "stoop," in
front of which the roses are blooming in great
abundance. I took a short walk with Miss Eksteen
to one of the most romantic little spots I ever saw.
We went through their gardens to a fountain, where
there is a fine spring of water. They have planted
a seat under the shade of a weeping-willow, from
which there is a most lovely view in the distance,
and no sound was heard but that of the turtle-dove
in the forest behind us. We passed through the
vineyard where grapes of every kind are growing,
and came back to the cottage with a splendid col-
lection of flowers. Nature is certainly most boun-
tiful to this part of Africa. We passed a very
255
pleasant evening in company with this interesting
family, which consists of Mr. and Mrs. Eksteen,
a noble-looking couple, and three nice daughters
and one son under sixteen. They have an English
tutor, who lives in the family, and made one of our
group this evening. The young ladies gave us
a little music, and then we retired.
January 30. — A cloudy morning, but cool and
comfortable. I feel once more as though I had my
liberty, which is a very happy feeling, so I ranged
through the orchard and picked blackberries, which
are large and nice, and admired everything I saw,
and then came in to my books. Mr. Eksteen killed
a hyena last night near the house. To support my
assertion a few pages back, that every place has its
"sussin, " as the old woman said, I must tell you
what this has, millions of fleas, as large (Aunt L.
says) as coach-horses. Now no doubt this is exag-
gerated, but I assure you they have power enough,
whatever their size may be, to make me exceedingly
uncomfortable, and to disturb my repose. Uncle
says he should have no amusement if it were not for
them, but I must confess I am too much fretted by
them to be pleased.
After dinner I went to walk with Mr. E. and all
the children, I cannot say where, but I know that
we brought home some beautiful flowers, some pears,
and some lemons. Although it is said to be not yet
the season for flowers, you cannot take a step with-
out finding them. The flowering heaths were very
fine, there are seven hundred different kinds about
2S6
here. Dr. Murray told me his wife had painted
over a hundred varieties.
February i. — Oh, such a lovely morning! I was
up at six, the birds were singing, but all besides
was still and quiet as possible. How much pleas-
anter than the town, where there is nothing heard
but the rattling of carts and carriages, and the noise
of the Dutchmen's whips! By the by, these said
whips are worthy of note. Coming from the country
over mountains and sandy plains, with loads of wine,
they are obliged to have an immense team, I have
often seen ten yoke of enormous oxen. A boy runs
ahead, and guides the first pair with a rope, while
the driver sits upon the wagon far aft, and wields
this immense whip, which reaches to the foremost
oxen. You can judge of its length ; I should think
it required much strength of arm even to hold it,
and I am told it requires a great knack to use it.
7.d. — A beautiful Sunday morning, and, as we had
no temple to worship in, I thought it best to go to
the woods, where none but pure and holy feelings
can be excited, so Miss E. and myself first went to
the orchard, and admired the ripening fruits, and
then got our bonnets and books, and went to la belle
fontaine, where we spent two hours very pleasantly.
We had the lemon, the citron, and the loquat to
shade us from the sun and to shed their fragrance
upon the breeze. The birds were making music in
the branches, and everything was so still around us
that one could not but adore the Author and Dis-
poser of all.
257
After dinner we took a very pleasant walk "over
the hills and far away," and came back loaded with
flowers, among them a white rose, which smelt of
home; I have not seen one before since I left
America. There are many things here that recall
that blest place to my mind. Dr. Bailey has been
to-day, and finds Uncle much better. He puts great
faith in a Caffre medicine Uncle is taking now,
made of herbs from the Caffre country. It would
seem to me little short of a miracle if he were re-
stored. Dr. Bailey says the heat has been intoler-
able in town for the last few days, while we have
been delightfully cool and comfortable here.
February ^. — The wind this morning is burning
hot, as though it had blown over fire, and answers
to all the descriptions we have had of the simoon of
the desert. My face felt quite scorched passing
along the stoop to breakfast. Uncle has been very
ill to-day, much weaker. We were obliged to keep
quite close to-day and shut all the glass to keep the
air out. Dr. Murray was out after dinner. He
says the heat is intense in town, 96° this morning
in the house, and 90° at night; this beats China,
but it is very uncommon.
February 8. — After dinner to-day, Mrs. E., the
young ladies and myself walked to Newlands, for-
merly the residence of Lord Charles Somerset, while
Governor here. Mr. Crugwagen, the present owner,
told me that Lord Charles spent ^^70,000 upon it,
and that he bought it for ;^3,ooo. The grounds are
very extensive. After walking through immense
2S8
avenues of fine trees, we ascended a hill, which is
flattened, and excavated to a depth of some twenty
feet, forming a basin, at the bottom of which is
a fine spring of water, constantly running summer
and winter, and supplying two mills. There is
a broad gravelled walk around this basin, where
seats and tables are placed for loungers and picnic
parties; on each side rows of tall trees arch over
the walk and the fountain. It is a most romantic
place. On our way to the house we regaled our-
selves with grapes and peaches, and, after having
gathered a handsome bouquet, Mr. E. drove us
home. I was talking with Mr. Jones (the tutor)
after dinner about the missionaries. He says the
Moravians and the Wesleyan Methodists are the
most numerous.
February ii. — After dinner Miss E., myself, and
Mr. Jones mounted horses, and went a long way up
the mountain, had a fine view of the country around
us, and the sea in the distance. I had no idea it
was so near. Heard the noise of the baboons,
which are numerous on the mountain, and some-
times come down into the orchard. After letting
our horses breathe a little, we turned their heads,
and took a good canter nearly down to Newlands.
You would have laughed to have seen our party and
our equipment, and the boys would certainly have
hooted after us, had it been anywhere but in the
bush. We neither of us had habits. Miss E. put
a skirt of her mother's over her pink dress, and I
had a black silk. Little Jesse was mounted with
259
Mr. Jones. Had a very pleasant ride, and a pretty
decent jolting, but still meditate another excursion
to-morrow.
February 12. — About half -past three we mounted
our steeds, and commenced our ride to "Bergvlyt, "
the residence of Mr. John Eksteen. We arrived
about five, and I must say it was anything but
pleasure to me. In the first place, my horse was
lazy, and if perchance by whipping I urged him into
a canter, it was almost at the expense of my poor
bones, for I had not yet recovered from yesterday's
frolic. To add to my miseries, the breeze was
strong, and the pins came out of my dress, and I
had great difficulty in keeping it in decent order.
Then my bonnet kept blowing off, and what with
my lazy horse, my sore bones, my whip, the reins,
my bonnet, and my dress, I had more than I could
manage. I could have cried almost, with vexation.
Whether Mr. Jones saw my knees or not, I do not
know, but he was kind enough to keep in front
a little. Before we got to our destination, my comb
had contrived to make its escape, and my hair was
hanging over my back, so you may judge how I
looked, but I cannot tell you the agony I was suffer-
ing. Miss E. had an easier horse and an easier
saddle, and was enjoying herself comparatively,
though her hair plagued her some. We arrived at
last, and, having arranged our hair and our dresses
a little, took a walk in the garden with the young
ladies. It was as romantic a spot as I ever saw.
We sat there some time, and then prepared for our
26o
return, which I dreaded, my bones were so stiff. I
gave my horse to Mr. Jones, and took his, hoping it
might be easier. It was not quite so lazy, but can-
tered harder. There was not so much wind going
home, and, saving the pain I endured, it was pleas-
ant. I certainly never was so tired before. We
made out to get home soon after seven, and never
was I more happy to find a resting place, nothing
would induce me to suffer so much again. I tell
Mrs. E. that she is related to everybody in Africa,
for between Kirstenbosch and Cape Town, and for
many miles round in every direction, there is no-
one but Cloetes and Eksteens. On every birthday
all the families meet at one place, and for three
days and nights they keep up a regular frolic, danc-
ing and feasting, and I am told that it is the
bounden duty of all the old (that is, married) men
to get tipsy, and the young ones are thought more
agreeable if a little funny. They are jolly people
enough and very social in their habits; a kind-
hearted people, the Dutch, but I think I should not.
like them tipsy!
February i6. — Sunday morning, and a beautifuli
day. Read two sermons to Uncle. Miss E. asked
her father to take us to drive after dinner, as it is
too dusty to walk. He consented, and we went to
the famous "Constantia, " where all the celebrated
Constantia wine is made. I had an idea it was.
a village, but it seems it is the residence of Mr.
Jacob Cloete, Mrs. E.'s brother. It is a most de-
lightful place, with a fine house, and a beautiful
26 1
view from the stoop of the country round, and of
Table Bay in the distance. Mrs. Cloete has a large
family, and an interesting grown-up daughter. I
am astonished to find what polished and elegant
manners all the young ladies here have. You would
suppose they had been brought up in a great deal of
society. This place was built many years ago by
one of the old Dutch Governors, and named for his
wife. The wine made here, which is so famous, is
very rich. I was told that of the real Constantia
there are only one hundred and fifty gallons a year
made. They leave the grapes on the vines till they
are so ripe that they begin to look shrivelled like
raisins, and there is very little juice to express. It
is consequently very sweet and rich. But, if the
seed of this grape is sown elsewhere, the flavor of
the wine is quite different. There is no doubt that
an immense deal of spurious wine is exported, and
that much of the common sweet Cape wine is drunk
for Constantia. They say to witness the making of the
wine is enough to sicken you, and from all accounts
I should think it would be as good as a temperance
society. The little sweaty, dirty negroes are sent
into the tubs to express the juice with their feet ; it
cannot be done by machinery, which would break
the stones. After they have got the juice out, the
skins are pressed, to give the wine a color. There
are four different kinds of Constantia wine, the
white and the red Muscadel, the Frontignac, made
of a light-colored grape, and the Pontac, which is
the most expensive and the most rare. There are
262
now several other places built near Mr. Cloete's, to
which they have given the name of "Constantia, "
but this is the real one. These people all live very
genteelly, very differently from our country people,
and more like the descriptions I have had of Vir-
ginia planters, as they have a great many slaves who
do all the work of the farm.
February 24. — Oh, if you could conceive how I
am tormented at night with these abominable fleas,
they are so thick, and they bite like the detice! We
sometimes pick off fourteen before going to bed,
and still manage to have some remain. I have no
peace night or day for them, so you see there is
always something to disturb one's quiet. This
morning I found our hostess was to have company,
and a little after nine four ladies were seen ap-
proaching the house. Ye powers ! said I, are they
coming to spend the day.' I soon found they were
"located" in the drawing-room, so I kept close to
my own and Uncle's room, for I could not think of
spending a whole day with them, and was very busy
with my books till dinner-time. I sallied forth
once to find out how they were employed, and found
them all at work, some knitting and some sewing,
looking as cosey and social as possible. Had they
•not all been strangers, I think I should have en-
joyed being with them. The Dutch are more like
the Americans than the English, in their habits and
feelings; there is none of the formality and stiffness
that you find in John Bull wherever he is. I never
saw more domestic happiness, more quiet and con-
263
tentment, than in this family through all its branches.
— Dr. Murray was out after dinner, and finds Uncle
better. If he only remains so for a few days, I
shall feel quite encouraged. What do you think
the farmer's call to his bullocks is.' Mr. E. had to
send for them this morning, and as he spied them
through the glass coming very lazily along the road,
he got out an enormous whip, five or six yards long,
and snapped it three or four times. Each snap
reverberated through the mountains, making a great
noise, and the bullocks were immediately seen to
quicken their pace, although they were a mile away.
I do enjoy this country life whenever Uncle is well
enough to enjoy anything. A most lovely night ; I
was out on the stoop till very late, and everything
was so quiet and still that it seemed as though all
thoughts and feelings should be as calm and tran-
quil. It seemed to be a holy stillness, as though it
were wrong for any but holy thoughts to arise, and
I could cry almost that I cannot still each anxious
feeling and desire, and be as calm and celestial as
everything in nature seems to be.
February 27. — Uncle being so much better, I
accepted an invitation to drive to Wynberg with our
family. Wynberg is a thriving little village, with
a neat little church and some delightful residences.
We stopped at Mr. Maquier's, and saw his two
daughters in the bloom of youth and loveliness,
with their hearts unsoured, and as cheerful as their
ignorance of ills and wickedness can make them.
You will, I dare say, think I make some queer ob-
264
servations, but you know, my dear, I am a novice to
the world at large. I have been living for so long
among people of our age and people well versed in
the ways of the world, that I am quite enchanted
to be among those of all ages and sizes, and espe-
cially when they laugh at nothing, as I used in my
young days.* One cannot help giving a sigh for
days gone by, and saying with Byron, —
" There's not a charm this world can give
Like that it takes away
When the early glow of youth declines
In feeling's dull decay.''
But a truce to romance ; I thought I had done being
sentimental. The Duke of Sussex arrived yester-
day from China. For the last three days the wind
has been blowing tremendously in Cape Town, while
here we could sit with a lighted candle upon the
stoop, and hear the wind roaring upon the other side
of the mountain. Dr. Bailey said he could not get
his horse to face it yesterday, the dust and sand
were quite smothering. Some of the ships were
driven out of the bay, and nine were trying without
success to get in. These south-easters, as they are
called, are confined chiefly to Cape Town, a few
miles back in the country they are not felt. In
some exposed situations the gravel-stones actually
drill holes through the glass of the windows. I am
busy much of the time now writing for Uncle. I
am his private secretary, and am glad to find myself
of some consequence.
*The lamentation of a " spinster" aged twenty-four! — Ed.
265
March 12. — A beautiful day, and after dinner
Mr. E. drove us to Wynberg, from there to Stellen-
berg, and home by a road I have never been on be-
fore. We passed through Schoenberg, where Sir
John Herschel, the son of the great astronomer, is
residing.* He has an immense telescope here, not
so large as his father's, but one by which he has
discovered volcanoes in the moon. He pursues his
studies of the worlds above, and, I suppose, will tell
us, one of these days, what the inhabitants in those
unknown spheres are like, — and Heaven only knows
what else ! I am afraid we shall be obliged to win-
ter at the Cape. I almost despair of ever reaching
my native land again, it seems as though the fates
opposed me. It will be a very long while before
Uncle can regain his strength; he is dreadfully
weak, though all his symptoms are better.
March 15. — Uncle was very anxious to have me
go to town to-day, and notwithstanding a strong
south-easter was blowing, as I could hear from the
stoop, we started after breakfast, Mr. and Mrs.
Eksteen, Joanna and Jesse with me, and arrived
safely. The houses were all shut up, and very few
people were to be seen in town, the dust was rolling
in clouds along the streets. I attempted to do a
little shopping, but could not force myself along.
However, I did all my odd jobs indoors, and, as that
was the principal object of my visit, I left the out-
of-door for a future time. I had a triste enough day
* At Ftldhausen. He arrived at the Cape Jan. 15, 1834, in order to explore the
southern heavens, and remained there for four busy years. He was created a baro-
net by the Queen at her coronation. Born in 1792, he lived until 1871, and was
buried in Westminster Abbey, close to the grave of Sir Isaac Newton. — Ed.
266
of it. Saw Dr. Murray, who told me that he has
no doubt now that Uncle's lungs are diseased.
That being the case, we can have little hope of his
recovery. He feels himself growing weaker instead
of stronger, and told Aunt L. this morning that he
should never be any better.
March 30. — A dreadful chasm since I wrote last,
on the I sth, in which time I have witnessed one of
the most solemn scenes possible, the sick and dying
bed of my dear Uncle (my father in feeling), and I
pray that it may make a lasting impression upon
me, that I may never forget it, and I pray also that
my end may be calm, peaceful, and happy like his.
. . . On Saturday, the 22d, he appeared much weaker,
and soon after eleven p.m. he breathed his last,
quite easily, — the spark of life went out like a dy-
ing lamp. . . . My dear Aunt has truly been a min-
istering angel to him; I never saw her equal for
devotion, for firmness and fortitude, for tenderness,
kindness, and deep, enduring affection. . . . Al-
though strangers in a strange land, we have been
thrown among the best and kindest of people, who
have done everything for us. The remains of my
dear Uncle were consigned to the grave on Monday,
the 24th. He was the first to be buried in the new
Episcopal cemetery at Cape Town, which was lately
consecrated by the bishop on his way to Calcutta.
We remained at Kirstenbosch till Thursday, the
26th, and then we thought it best to change the
scene and go to town, where we might be making
26/
preparations for leaving, for now all our duties are
performed, and there is nothing more to keep us
here. The spirit of our dear friend is, I trust,
happy in heaven, and all has been done for the poor
body that we are permitted to do. . . .
April I. — We begin now to be very anxious about
our ship. We hear the "Buckinghamshire" is not
coming, and we shall probably be obliged to go in
some nasty India ship, full of cockroaches, centi-
pedes, and scorpions, to say nothing of hosts of pas-
sengers. For two lone females it will be unpleasant
enough, but endure it we must, before we can reach
our journey's end. Once there, it appears to me I
never can be induced to leave home again ! Mrs.
Crugwagen has her house full now ; there are four
ladies and a gentleman here, and seven children of
the most noisy kind, they, however, go on in a few
days. Two ships are going on, but all full.
April i. — The "Madras" sailed to-day, and our
house is quiet again. How little you know in
America of the miseries of the rest of the w6rld!
India, I believe, is full of such. I could fill vol-
umes with stories of unhappy marriages, of dreadful
separations of parents and children, indeed of do-
mestic misery in all its darkest colors. Ambition,
envy, jealousy, and all the bad passions, are fully
displayed there. Dr. Murray made me a long call
this morning. Aunt did not see him. He is a kind
creature, and gave me something for my face; for
the last month I have been dreadfully afflicted with
pain in it, a sort of rheumatic pain.
268
April 7. — Two ships arrived to-day, but are quite
full of passengers, and cockroaches, and no room for
us, so we must wait awhile longer; there are plenty
more coming. We had an addition of ten to our
family to-night, from the "Madras." It is melan-
choly to see these India ships bringing in, every
day almost, the widows and the fatherless. This
ship had in it ten ladies, and of the ten seven are
widows. We have three at this house, and one poor
lady is mourning for her husband and three chil-
dren, her all. She goes home childless and alone.
As we dine in our own rooms, I have no opportunity
to observe how their afflictions are supported. I
can only witness the sorrow of my dear Aunt, who
bears hers with the most Christian resignation,
though at times it seems as though her heart would
break. I long to get her away from here, she has
nothing to do, and nothing to take up her time and
thoughts.
April \ I. — A beautiful Sunday morning. Ayok
came to me at noon, and told me he had been to cA/«-
c^2« at his master's grave. He asked me if it was
not our custom to do so. I told him no. He said
with great feeling that he thought it a very good
custom, and they (the Chinese) do it twice a year.
I was pleased with his attention and apparent good
feeling. Indeed, I have never met a Chinaman who
has manifested such good feeling as he has ever
since he has been with us, and at Kirstenbosch par-
ticularly. We have become quite attached to him,
he has been so faithful. If he only continues so,
we must consider ourselves very fortunate.
269
igth. — Mrs. Murray sent me the first volume of
"Men and Manners in America," by the author of
"Cyril Thornton." * I like it pretty well, but it
displays the Englishman throughout, that conceited
feeling which is in all of them, and that disposition
to sneer at everything American, and I do not at all
like his observations upon New Englanders gener-
ally, and particularly upon Unitarians. Many of
his remarks are no doubt very correct, particularly
upon manners, as far as I can judge, but, as regards
morals, I should think not. I wish Americans
would improve in their manner of eating, they are,
I know, piggish in that particular, and especially so
in public houses and steamboats. I should think
they would profit by the observations of all travel-
lers and foreigners. The fact is, there is not
enough attention to les biens^ances of life in Amer-
ica, they are too much given to money-getting, and
not enough to les politesses, and, more than all, they
have inherited much of the conceit of their mother-
country, which, with their ignorance of things in
other parts of the world, makes them appear very
ridiculous to enlightened travellers. [Could Cap.
tain Hamilton himself have been much more se-
vere .' — Ed. ] They have much to learn. I only wish
they would be more modest, and not boast so much
of their government and their institutions, and let
their visitors admire or not as they please. The
doctor came to inquire for me this morning, and,
finding my face still obstinate, examined my teeth,
thinks the pain may come from them. Told me to
* Captain Hamilton.
270
take a walk, and gave me something new, which I
tried, and for the first time in six weeks I slept all
night without pain.
April 2^. — The "Royal George" was signalled
last night, and Mr. Thompson writes me that there
is one cabin vacant, which we are now thinking
about. The captain is exorbitant in his demands.
I have agreed to go off to her, to see what the
accommodations are.
April 25. — This morning at nine Mr. T. and
Captain Embleton called, as agreed, for me to go ofE
to the ship. I tried very hard to get Miss Crug-
wagen to go with me, but she had a bad cold and
could not, and Aunt L. did not feel like it, so there
was nothing to be done but to go by myself, not
very pleasant, but I started off and said nothing.
We were three-quarters of an hour beating off; a
fine breeze, but dead ahead. Found the captain
a pleasing person, and the ship very neat, but very
small compared to the "Waterloo." However, I
smelt no cockroaches, and think the accommodations
are as good as we can expect ; there is but one small
cabin for us though, and we shall be well squeezed.
There are many passengers, mostly French, so we
may learn to speak it. Stopped about a quarter of
an hour, and then made sail for the shore. My
reflections were melancholy enough, as you may
imagine. Only the hope that I may see you all
once more cheers me, but the recollections of our
last landing, and the changes since, were almost
too much for me. I was glad Aunt L. did not go.
2/1
I reported favorably upon the ship to her, and she
has made up her mind to take it. I am sorry to say
she does not sail till a week from to-morrow. Dr.
Murray came in to see me just before night. He
wishes me to have a tooth out, which, he thinks, may
be the cause of all my pain. I suppose it had better
be done before I go to sea. This afternoon I saw
the hearse pass to attend the funeral of a gentleman
who died here the other night. It was dressed with
plumes, and the top was covered with black ostrich
feathers, as well as the horses' heads. Eight or ten
men walked behind, dressed in black, with feathers
and black bands. I must confess that it made no
impression of solemnity upon me, mere pomp and
show, and nothing to arouse one's feelings like the
tolling of the bell, which they omit here. None
but gentlemen ever follows the body to the grave.
This poor man had no relatives here, I believe, but
had come in search of health, leaving his wife very
ill in the Neilgherry Hills in India. Thus families
are separated in this part of the world.
April 30. — Persuaded Aunty to go down to break-
fast; it is better that she should meet some one be-
fore she goes on board, then she must, for we have
only one small cabin. We were neither of us sorry
we went below afterwards, for we met some very
pleasant and delightful people, particularly Colonel
Craigie and Mrs. Craigie. Her appearance was to
me exceedingly interesting, her countenance of
rather a Grecian cast, I should say, with regular
features, and she wears her hair d. la grecque, which
2/2
adds to the effect. Her manners are elegant and
easy, affable and pleasant. From the first I was
prepossessed in her favor. The colonel appears
a gentlemanlike man, and I think must be a sen-
sible one, from his having chosen such a wife.
Methinks I hear you say, "You are very hasty in
your conclusions. " So it would seem, for, though
I write them afterwards, they were all made in my
mind at the breakfast table. I said to myself. If
that eye does not speak purity of mind, I will never
trust again to appearances. After dinner we went
to visit dear Uncle's grave, a melancholy thing
enough. It is a quiet spot, looking upon the sea,
toward Green Point; there is an iron railing five
feet high all round it. We are going to have
cypress and, myrtle planted all about it. How one
longs to know, when standing by the grave of a near
and dear friend, where and how the spirit is exist-
ing ! We returned, and spent the evening with Mrs.
Craigie, who has not disappointed my first impres-
sions, on the contrary, my opinion of her increases
with my knowledge of her character and of her
mind, which is highly cultivated. I have discov-
ered that she is a near relative of the Duke of
Marlborough.
May 2. — The place is crowded with strangers,
and the nobility have been in an uproar to-day on
account of the arrival of the Commander-in-chief
from India. We had one of the party from the ship
here, the Hon. Mrs. Churchill, a relation of Mrs.
Craigie's, a handsome woman, but not so pleasing.
273
Dr. Murray came in to-day, and would not let me
escape, but took out the tormenting tooth, and I
behaved very well. We spent the evening most
delightfully in conversation with Mrs. Craigie, the
most interesting woman and the most profitable com-
panion I have met for many a day; I believe she is
a true Christian, though perhaps a little wanting in
Christian charity. She is a thorough Trinitarian,
and I could not entirely agree with her, but I gained
something, for I brought out many of her high-toned
and noble feelings, and, though I had neither con-
vinced nor been convinced, I was pleased with my
evening. To me it appears that a creed is of very
little importance, not so to my friend. Would that
I were more like her! She is an ornament to the
religion she professes; so cheerful, so kind, so affec-
tionate, so humble, so devout, and, I may add, so
energetic and indefatigable in the performance of
her duties. She regrets, as we do, that we are not
to be together longer.
PART III.
HOMEWARD BOUND (mAY S-JULY 12, I834).
May 5. — Got up early this morning, and packed
up our last trunks, and prepared for our departure.
At half -past ten Mr. Thompson called for us, and
we bid adieu to our kind hostess and her family
with much sorrow ; we have experienced great kind-
ness from them. We parted with real regret, too,
from Mrs. Craigie, for, though our intercourse has
been short, it has been exceedingly pleasant. The
colonel and Mr. Thompson waited upon us to the
boat, and we retraced the steps which three months
before we had taken under such different circum-
stances.
There was a busy scene enough at the landing-
place. Eight ships had arrived the day before, and
one or two this morning, all full of passengers, who
were landing with their baggage as fast as possible,
while others were going, and we among the number.
I could not help thinking what different histories
they might all give, and then"! thought how few of
them were probably here from inclination! Well,
leaving their inclinations to themselves, or any one
else, we went on board the ' ' Royal George, ' ' where
there was as much confusion as upon the jetty, the
passengers were coming in rapid succession, with
quantities of baggage and the like, so that the deck
275
was hardly to be seen, and, "thinks I to myself," all
this is for the comfort of these poor bodies of ours.
Well, we proceeded to our cabin, which looked as
though it could contain little besides those bodies,
but we set Ayok to looking into the berths and
drawers, and we found, to our great horror, that it
contained many other bodies in the form of cock-
roaches. Then there was the smell, and a thousand
other little miseries, all of which are ready to salute
one on first entering a ship, and to all of which we
become accustomed after a certain, time, but, until
that time arrives, they are hard to be endured.
After a while we learn to move in a smaller space,
and our cabins begin to grow larger, but I must not
be prosy. We had dinner about five, very nicely
cooked, and I did justice to it, thinking it best to
improve the time, as I shall get none to-morrow.
We had about twenty at table, mostly French, so
that I understood very little of what was going on.
We went to bed as early as possible, and "tired
nature's sweet restorer" did not refuse to come to
our relief. There was a heavy sea, and we were
pitching badly all night.
May 1 6. — Light winds most of the time so far,
and all our calculations on a short passage to St.
Helena disappointed. A little more wind to-day,
but before night we were braced sharp up, with
every prospect of a head wind. We are still a long
way from the island, and we begin to get rather im-
patient. The thought of being penned up in this
place for months and months is dreadful, and poor
2y6
Aunty is most unpleasantly situated. There is no
peace nor quiet for her, and the constant noise in
the cuddy is most discordant to her feelings. Our
cabin is more noisy than the others, as it adjoins
the cuddy, and these noisy French people keep up
such a chattering from morning till night that there
is no such thing as reading in peace. After break-
fast many of them remain at the table and play
piquet, backgammon, 6cart6, chess, and all sorts of
games, and keep it up pretty well most of the fore-
noon. At four we all assemble for dinner, where
we are wedged in so tight that it is difificult to eat,
and such eaters as our friends are I never saw be-
fore. After dinner Aunty and I generally take:
a constitutional walk together, and we walk till we
are quite tired rather than join the others, by whom
we find it difficult to make ourselves understood.
At seven we have tea, and as soon as that is over
the different games begin again; the old and the-
young, the grandmamma of seventy and the child of
seven, all deeply interested. We do not join in, I
sometimes look on, but generally return to the
deck.
May 17. — We are very little farther than we
were yesterday. Time passes swiftly enough, but I
wish we were making more progress. I am at pres-
ent very much interested in Cobbett's "French.
Grammar, " it is more simple, and makes the idiom-
of the language more easily understood, than any I
have seen. I am also reading Spurzheim on "Phre-
nology," and begin to look at people's heads very-
277
scientifically. To-day completes my twenty-fourth
year, and what account can I give of it ?
Was on deck all the evening, a most lovely night,
and we were cheered with the sound of a fair wind,
but, alas ! so little of it that I fear we shall not reach
St. Helena to-morrow night, as we might very
easily with a little breeze, we were only about one
hundred and fifty miles from it at noon. We shall
probably spend one day ^there, which will give us
time to visit Longwood, and the tomb of Napoleon,
which we must do, as we shall never have another
chance.
May 19. — Wind still light, but about sunset the
captain called me to see the Island which he had
just made out, and none but the eyes of a mariner
would have supposed it to be anything but a small
cloud. We all hailed it with joy, and anticipate
the pleasure of being near it to-morrow. Spent the
evening in conversing with Mme. N., a lady of
seventy years, and this is her sixth voyage. What
would grandmother say to that .' She has seen great
changes in her day. She is nobly related in France,
has lived in great style, and has had a first-rate edu-
cation. She is elegant in her manners, full of life,
and very active. She was in the same convent with
Josephine at the time she was separated from her
first husband, the Vicomte de Beauharnais, and just
before he was guillotined. She says that Josephine
was beloved by all, and gives the same idea of her
character and manners that we get from books gen-
erally.
278
May 20. — When we awoke, we found we were
very near the Island, and the anchor was dropped
about eight o'clock. There is no bay here, but
good anchorage under the lee of the land. I know
not how to give you an idea of this place as it looks
from the ship, but I will do my best. At first it
looks like a huge rock, rising perpendicularly out of
the sea. After a while you discover a few houses
and some trees at the entrance of a ravine between
two mountains, which appear to have dissolved part-
nership from time unknown, and retired from each
other in mutual disgust or by mutual consent.
Since which time the town has grown up between
them, and is inhabited by most of the people on the
Island. On the summits of these mountains and
on other high places are fortifications. The vast
ocean is all around, and we wonder in vain what
could have produced this enormous excrescence in
the midst of it. Two ships are anchored near us,
the "Duke of Argyle, " which had as long a passage
as we had, and a French ship, from the Isle de
Bourbon. After breakfasting, and having gone
through the customary visits from health boats, etc.
(and having put on our best bibs and tuckers), we
were whipped into the boat, in company with some
dozen of the passengers, and in a few moments were
again on terra firma, which is always pleasant, be it
what land it may, but how delightful it will be
when we again set foot upon our native land !
There are very good steps, and everything conven-
ient for landing, but such a queer place I never
279
saw. Our eyes had not deceived us, we were actu-
ally walking on the quay, with the rock rising per-
pendicularly for a thousand feet or more, and in
some places jutting over our heads, and not a trace
of vegetation to be seen upon it. Some miserable
little houses were built at the foot ; the sides and
roofs of some being formed by the rock itself, and
making one tremble lest some convulsion of nature
should bury them all. We marched on a little fur-
ther, and the next thing that struck our eyes was
a ladder, also nearly perpendicular, reaching from
the foot of the mountain to the fortifications on top.
The idea of going up made one dizzy. I have been
told it is three thousand feet long* (it certainly
looks two thousand), it was built by the East India
Company, and cost ^200,000. A little further on
we entered a gate, which locks in the "city" at
night, passed through a very clean street, the prin-
cipal one, saw some pretty-looking houses and one
pretty girl, and arrived at the hotel of Mr. Solomon,
a Jew, a very neat and commodious house, and well
furnished. Made inquiries at once for American
papers and letters, but no papers of late date were
to be had, and the only letter for us had been sent
to the Cape ! Very gratifying ; well, one must
pocket one's disappointment, and see others reading
theirs with patience.
The captain immediately ordered carriages to take
us to the tomb of Napoleon, r.s we had no time to
lose, and our voitures were soon at the door. I
hardly know what to call them, I should say they
* It is really about six hundred. — Ed.
28o
most resembled double buggies, with four very low
wheels, which brought us very near the ground;
the driver sat upon the horse, and led it part of the
way. There were no tops to the carriages, so we
were exposed to the sun, which was not very agree-
able. Our course was up a zigzag path cut into the
side of the mountain, the valley far below us, the
hills towering above, a low wall guarded the edge
of the precipice. Being above the valley, we had
a fine view of the town, which runs up some dis-
tance above the mountains, till it finally tapers off
and is no more. It is not a quarter of a mile wide,
the streets very narrow, but clean -looking, the
houses mostly small, and built of mud and stone.
We saw some pretty gardens, and a variety of beau-
tiful green trees, the banana and other tropical
fruits. The scenery is grand, the ravines and pre-
cipices are magnificent. I was enchanted with the
scenery, and, as we ascended, felt much nearer
heaven, for somehow or other it always seems to
exalt the feelings to be towering so high. When
we had nearly gained the summit we were obliged
to get out of our carriages, and descend a little way
to visit the tomb. Our companions were all violent
Bonapartists, and looked sad and solemn as we ap-
proached. The tomb is situated on the side of the
mountain, in a most quiet and delightful spot.
There is not a letter upon the stone to tell who or
what lies there, owing to the foolish jealousy of the
English government. The tomb is enclosed by a
neat iron railing, a sort of lily grows at the two
28l
upper corners, and the four sticks are remaining
which supported the forget-me-not planted by Mme.
Bertrand after Napoleon's decease, but which has
since died. Within the outer enclosure are two
large willow-trees, which waved over the grave, but
they are nearly dead, a few green leaves upon the
branches alone show that they once had life. The
present Governor Dallas has planted some cypress-
trees, which are doing well. It is a most enchant-
ing spot, but far too quiet for the spirit of such
a man as rests here, as Byron says :
" Quiet to quick spirits is a hell."
Finding a visitors' book at the entrance, I took it
up, and how quickly it recalled one of the favorite
sayings of Napoleon himself, "There's but one step
from the sublime to the ridiculous," for one glance
at this receptacle for names and remarks was quite
enough to excite one's risibles! Here were huddled
together eulogy and invective, sentiment of all kinds
from friend and from foe, poetry and prose, good
and bad, of the literate and the illiterate, of all
nations, tongues, and countries. One bit I was
particularly struck with, but unfortunately I can
only remember part of it, enough, however, to give
you some idea of its merit. It began, "Here lies
Bony part, he rests in/^aj, " with much more of the
same sort written in a very bad hand. I wrote
merely the names of our party, and we returned to
our carriages and proceeded to Longwood, but there
is hardly a trace left of what it was while Napoleon
282
lived there, it has been converted into stables, etc.,
and is in a most shocking state of filth and dilapida-
tion. It is a pity, I think, that they did not let it
fall into honorable decay, but his bedroom is now
turned into a stable, the sitting-room where he died
is a room for machinery and in a wretched state, and
his flower-garden is a pig-sty. Pity, pity, I think.
They showed us the grounds, etc., but there was no
trace of anything belonging to him. We saw the
rooms of Las Casas and Montholon, and passed the
house of General Bertrand. I was amused to see
our French friends carrying away large pieces from
the wall and the floor of the room where Napoleon
died, and saying how happy they should make their
friends in France and at the Mauritius by dividing
the spoil. We saw the new house built by Napo-
leon, containing fifty-two rooms, but, as the Gover-
nor is residing there at present, we could not go
through it. We returned by the same road, and
were almost suffocated with dust and the heat of
the sun. Our first demand was for a bath, and we
were exceedingly refreshed and comforted by it.
X Then we sallied forth into the streets, bought
" a spool or two of cotton, and inquired the prices of
some things; all and everything here is awfully
dear. After we returned, the American consul
called upon us with his two daughters, one a Mrs.
B. of Salem, who gave us some news of the place,
as she had come from there lately. We dined
at five o'clock, and had a good dinner, which cost
fifteen shillings sterling apiece. We should have
283
said nothing about that, for it was a very nice din-
ner, soup and fish, of course, turkey, goose, fowls,
partridges, pies, pastry, etc. ; figs, delicious plan-
tains, pears, guavas, native fruits and imported dried
fruits. But, when we were asked seven shillings
sterling for each bath, we exclaimed in perfect as-
tonishment, and I said, "Never say any more about
Chinese impositions, Europeans excel them ! " But
there was no disputing it, and we found everything
was charged accordingly, so we were not sorry to
find that our stay at St. Helena was limited to one
day. There may be reasons for all this, and it is
true that the bath-rooms were very nice, and well
fitted up, and I suppose they do not get customers
very often, but I cannot forget the price of their hot
water! At eight o'clock we walked down to the
quay, a most beautiful night, and went on board
again, quite tired enough with our day's exertion to
go straight to bed.
May 2$, Latitude 5. 9° 18'. — Five years yester-
day since we bid adieu to home and friends, and
took the last lingering look at our dear native land !
The weather is getting very hot as we come to the
top of the world, but we are chasing the sun yet,
and shall have it still hotter when we get further
north. We find the cockroaches begin to feel the
eiifects of the heat, and come out abundantly. At-
tended prayers on deck this morning, and then re-
turned to our cabins, and I read aloud one of Dr.
Wardlaw's sermons on "The Divinity of Jesus
Christ." In reading these different views of the
284
same subject, I get puzzled, my dear sister, the
texts brought forward and shown in different lights
confute without convincing me, and I am left,
though in the same faith essentially, yet puzzled
regarding the meaning of many parts of the Bible.
I sometimes think I will never read another book
upon creeds, but then I should feel that I was
sinning against my own conscience, because I think
we should read all sides of a question before we
make up our minds. I pray most sincerely that my
understanding may be enlightened, but, alas! there
are many things hard to be understood in the Script-
ures, and to me particularly the eighth and ninth
chapters of Romans.
May 28. — Still fine weather, and we are all well,
and, with the exception of minor evils, get on ami-
ably and cheerfully. We begin to have some com-
munication with our fellow-passengers, as we find
they are ready to converse with us without laughing
at our blunders, and assist us with pleasure in our
endeavors to learn their language, while we readily
return the favor. The cuddy is a regular school-
room after breakfast, and might well be called a
bedlam. This is the public resort, as it is cooler
than any other place. We generally spend the
evenings on deck, and our quiet is very much dis-
turbed by the nocturnal rambles of the cockroaches,
which sometimes take the liberty of promenading
over our heads and necks. To-day finished Spurz-
heim on Phrenology.
May 31. — Last evening about six o'clock a de-
28s
lightful seven-knot breeze sprang up, which wafted
us most splendidly across the line, and we are now
once more in the North Atlantic. I awoke this
morning with the sun, and sa\y him rise from his
watery bed in great splendor. I fancied the sky
looked more homish than usual, — how much fancy
can do! The breeze continued this morning, but
grew rather light through the day. I suppose the
winds will be very light and variable now. The
weather is very hot, and the cockroaches swarm. In
the lower cabins they say they have them by the
five hundred thousand ! They are a great nuisance,
in fact I cannot relish anything for them. They
get in our drawers, they eat our apples, and in fact
there is no peace for them.
June 7, Lat. 7°, 36'. — Have made but little
more than twenty miles a day for the last four or
five days. Just before I was dressed, I heard the
sound of the trumpet, — "Ship ahoy! and where are
you bound? " Looked out of the scuttle, and saw
an English brig abreast of us; we sent a boat to her,
and got three newspapers and some nice potatoes.
She was twenty-four days from the Scilly Islands,
and thirty-two from Liverpool. I assure you it was
no small pleasure, although we did not get much
news, and not one word from America. She was
bound to Rio Janeiro. I am sorry to find that our
ship is rather a slow sailor; she is not in good trim,
and has a list to port which retards her progress,
however they mean to "fix" her to-morrow, as the
Yankees would say. A smacking breeze to-day, and
286
we are pitching about merrily. But, go as rapidly
as she will, it seems slow to me, for my wishes go
and come back again, — everything is accomplished
in my imagination very often.
Sunday, June 8. — I intended, when I rose this
morning, to spend the day in a most Christian-like
manner, and arranged in my mind my books and my
employments, but so little can we control events,
and so much are we the creatures of circumstances,
that not for one little day can we pretend to say
what we will or will not do. Until eleven o'clock
I read as I intended, and then went out to prayers,
which were cut short by the sight of a ship on our
lee bow, outward bound. What was our joy when
we discovered she was an American ! We bore
down upon her, and though the captain was rather
unwilling to take in his studding-sails to speak to
us, when he found we were resolute he slackened
sail, and in a few minutes we were alongside the
"Italy," Captain Ritchie, from New York, bound
to China. We sent a boat to see if he had any
news or letters. I assure you I was made quite
happy by hearing you were well, as far as he knew,
and he had had a note from father a few days before
he left, which was about the 9th of May. A most
happy rencontre ! He sent us a lot of papers and a
few stores as a mark of attention to his country-
women. So our day was spent in reading news-
papers. I saw Uncle James's arrival, but not much
else in the papers except politics, which I regret to
find are in such a state. Our old general seems to
28/
be wishing to play Napoleon, or dictator, and I
should fancy from the papers we have that it won't
go! Oh, dear, I hope we shall not find civil war
when we get home ! He is certainly carrying things
with a high hand. We were busy all day reading
the news, and thus all my plans of the morning were
deranged, but I could not help excusing myself for
this innovation, as I had heard nothing of conse-
quence from my home for many months. We drank
some Philadelphia cider at dinner, which was very
nice.
June 15. — Since my last date, my dear sister,
nothing has occurred worthy of note. We have
jogged along to latitude 22°, and in my opinion if
our ship was good for anything, we ought with the
fine breezes we have had, to have been much further,
but perhaps it is my impatience. You may think
that with so many passengers I might find some-
thing interesting to relate, but to tell you the truth
I can say but little in their favor. Their rapidity
of utterance debars me from taking any part in the
general conversation, and in my private chats I
never venture to express my sentiments. The man-
ners of the party are not very elegant, and judging
from the very frequent utterance of Mon Dieu ! I
should not say much for their reverence of One
whose name is so irreverently spoken, but on this
subject I dare not judge.
June 19. — We have made precious little since
yesterday, and shall make still less to-day. We
now find ourselves in what is called the Sargosso
288
Sea, or the grassy sea, on account of a grass or sea-
weed that is seen in great quantities in these lati-
tudes. We are surrounded with it. The weather
is very hot now, there is so little wind, and faces
begin to lengthen at the prospect of a long voyage.
All our calculations are upset as to arriving the last
of June. We sigh in spirit, I assure you, and com-
plain that the weather is too fine. Though in my
heart I feel that it is all right, I cannot help wish-
ing the "right" were otherwise. Patience is hav-
ing .her perfect work with me. The sea is like
glass, and we invoke the clouds in vain for wind ;
they come and go, but heed not our wishes. I
fairly got the blues to-night, and was glad to go to
bed, and forget myself in sleep.
June 26. — We have now a good, strong, and
steady wind, which will carry us in a short time
beyond the Western Isles. We begin to feel a great
change in the temperature, and it is so cold in the
evenings that we have the cuddy full, some reading,
and some playing. All look serene and contented
because we are getting on. All we want is plenty
of exercise to make us feel delightfully, for I really
recognize my native air in these breezes, though I
do not know how you will account for it when I say
they are from the south-east; nevermind, they are
just like it, at any rate. To-day we are in the lati-
tude of New York, even that is pleasant to me.
July I. — Overtook the brig "Penelope" of Glas-
gow from Trinidad to-day; spoke her, and soon left
her behind, so we do sail faster than some things.
289
A most lovely evening, and every prospect of being
in before many days, say five or six, and all our
passengers seem happy at the idea of setting foot on
shore again. We have had a dozen ships about us
to-day, and have been quite amused by beating sev-
eral of them. It is very cheerful after a monoto-
nous voyage of six weeks.
July 4, and the fifty-eighth anniversary, I believe,
of our Independence. Fine weather yet, though the
breeze is falling off a little. "The peace and pros-
perity of our country, " with a pretty little speech
from Captain Embleton, was proposed as a toast, and
drunk in good fellowship by all, after dinner.
July 7.^ A thick, foggy morning; but never-
theless a pilot-boat came alongside from the Scilly
Islands, and told us we were but twenty-seven miles
from them. About four it cleared up, and at the
cry of "Land ahead!" we left the dinner table as
soon as possible, and soon discovered the coast of
England, the "Land's End." Much to our joy,
the fog had entirely disappeared, and we had a fine
breeze, which cheered us up at once. We had the
"Duke of Argyle" ahead, that left St. Helena the
day we did. By means of Marryat's signals people
can hold long conversations at the distance of five
miles or more; they are quite delightful, but not
generally in use with our countrymen. I suppose
the bunting costs too much for "Jonathan," but it
is very stupid to meet a deaf-and-dumb ship nowa-
days. When I went on deck, I heard a great noise,
and, looking half-way up the "ratlins," there were
290
two jacks busy in tying the legs of one of the pas-
sengers to them. I found it was the first time he
had been aloft, and they immediately took advan-
tage of his novel situation by practising the per-
mitted joke upon him sanctioned by old custom, to
the great amusement of the party on the poop, who
witnessed his struggles for liberty without trying
to assist him. Made the Lizards before dark.
July 8. — Wind quite fair to-day, and we are run-
ning along finely. Had the coast of Devonshire on
our lee, and about ten o'clock three of our impatient
gentlemen passengers left the ship in the pilot-boat
and made for shore, thinking to land at Dartmouth.
It looks good to see land again, though at a distance,
and I would gladly go ashore, too. After leaving these
passengers, we were obliged to change our course,
and with a fine, fair wind, and the most beautiful
weather possible, we steered for Havre, where we
are to land our French passengers. Had the island
of Alderney in sight about seven. There is now
daylight in the sky till eleven.
July 9. — Was awakened this morning at three
o'clock by the captain rousing his French passen-
gers, and I got up at four to see them off. We
then had the coast of France in sight, and the pilot-
boat all in readiness. The immense quantity of
baggage delayed them a long time, as there were
twenty people in all to leave. They did not get
away till half-past six, when we bid them adieu and
were saluted in French style by a kiss on each
cheek. I was amused yesterday to see young ladies
291
and all offer their cheeks with the most perfect
nonchalance to a French gentleman who left. It is
true he was a married man, and elderly ; I do not
know whether it would have been the same with a
young man, but, however, custom sanctions every-
thing. At eight we lost sight of the boat and our
friends, probably forever. Our head was again
turned towards England, and we made Beachy Head
Light at nine, a very brilliant revolving light.
July 10. — Captain E. called us early this morn-
ing, as we were nearly abreast of Dover. Dressed
and went on deck, to see " the chalky cliffs " I have
so often heard of. We were then about a mile and
a half away. (Took our pilot last night off Dunge-
ness.) Soon afterwards we passed Deal, with
which I was also much pleased. Indeed, my dear
sister, I fear I shall not have receptacles enough in
my brain for all the fine things I shall be called
upon to admire. I shall be obliged to intrust them
to my memory instead of my book, for it will take
too much time and paper to note them all, and my
memory is not a faithful friend ; I give many things
to its charge, and, when I demand them, they are
either lost or so snugly stowed away that they are
not to be found at the proper time and place. My
head, I think, resembles chaos, I would somebody
would put it in order ! But, in a word, the scenery
here is beautiful, would you could look at it, too !
for when I enjoy a thing, I always want those I love
with me. There are plenty of boats, ships, brigs,
and all sorts of vessels flying about, no doubt for
292
our express amusement ! As we got abreast of
Dover this morning, the "Steam boat" {sic) had
just started for Calais. It is really beautiful to see
it, it truly goes "like a thing of life." Ayok was
highly delighted, and said, "They say, suppose have
got foul wind can walky"; I replied, "Yes, sup-
pose no got wind at all, can walky," which seemed,
to heighten his pleasure and surprise. At noon we
turned the corner, and are now steering west. The-
wind is no longer fair, and we are beating up the
river. Have been making preparations for landing.
We were boarded this morning by a boatman with
yesterday's papers; he said, "Sir, the Vig ministry-
is dissolved, and the Queen has gone to Germany."
These boatmen all call for rum, temperance socie-
ties do not flourish here, I fancy. A head wind
and tide obliged us to anchor for the night, as we
were among shoals and quicksands. A lovely even-
ing, and a boat came off to us, bringing cherries and
all sorts of tempting things from shore. It is six.
years since I have eaten cherries, and I assure you
we did not grudge the fourpence a pound.
July II. — Obliged to remain quiet till ten this,
morning. Wind still ahead, and very little of it,
but we have had plenty to do, in arranging our lug-
gage and preparing to land to-morrow. We haver
Essex on one side and Kent on the other, a most
beautiful country, where all looks peaceful and.
happy, but one cannot always judge from appear- -
ances. Certainly, I have seen no appearance of star-
vation in any of the boatmen, every one looked well,..
293
and worthy of the title of "John BulL" A splen-
did steamer passed us just now, full of passengers,
and a band on board playing merrily. She was run-
ning easily against wind and tide, while we are
tacking and toiling, and shall soon be obliged to
anchor again. It calls forth a eulogy upon steam,
I assure you. Anchored at four o'clock. Lovely
weather, a beautiful moon in the evening, and time
enough for silent meditation, for everything was
quiet except now and then when a schooner or
smaller boat would pass us, with some one playing
the flute or exercising his vocal powers. I was
walking by myself on the poop till nearly ten,
when I went to bed. Oh that I were a poetess ! for,
rather than express my feelings in bad prose, you
will lose all my musings, my dear, which would no
doubt have been highly edifying, as well as amus-
ing; but, alas! alas! Nature, as I have often said,
was certainly going upon an economical plan, both
physically and mentally, when I was created.
July 12. — We made sail about ten, and got under
way, with hundreds of other vessels of all descrip-
tions and sizes, of all nations and from all nations.
Such a busy scene I never saw before. We were in
the narrow part of the river, and the land was very
near us, so that we had a delightful view of the most
charming country that ever was seen, most highly
cultivated, and as I had always imagined it, beauti-
ful without being grand, hilly in some parts, but
nothing approaching a mountain, or even a good-
sized hill. But the beautiful lawns, the thick-set
294
hedges, occasionally a venerable - looking church
"with its spire pointing to heaven," — indeed, my
dear sister, go to Irving's "Sketch Book" to find,
beautifully expressed, what I would fain give you
some idea of ; suffice it that I was much pleased to
find all my fancies embodied before me. We were
in a perfect Babel till about two o'clock, nothing
but tacking ship, etc., till we arrived at Gravesend,
where the confusion was made still worse by the
landing of our live stock; the pigs were rebellious,
and the geese ditto. Then all our steerage passen-
gers went, and soon after a steamer took us in tow,
and we went on smoothly, in defiance of the wind.
About five we arrived at Blackwall, and our trunks
were looked into on board, but passed without
trouble, and we congratulated ourselves; but when
about going ashore there, and in full view of all the
houses, another "Philistine" boarded us, demanded
our keys, and overhauled the trunks again. My
blood boiled, but we were obliged to submit and
bear it patiently, but I never felt so much annoyed.
We got off very easily, however, and landed in a few
moments. We called for a coach, to proceed to
Captain Embleton's house, and were put into an
"omnibus," after some fighting between the coach-
men as to who should have us. Captain E. was
obliged to collar one man, who was running off with
my dressing-box. I thought upon the whole we
were in a sad place ! In a few moments we were
kindly received by Mrs. Embleton. They live away
from the city, in Canton Place, East India Road.
295
It was pleasant, and yet painful, to see the happy
meeting between friends when there was none to
welcome us, but our turn will come, and we are
accustomed to strangers now. We had a fine treat
of strawberries, gooseberries, and cherries to-night,
and went to bed quite tired after the excitement of
the day.
PART IV.
ENGLAND, JULY I3-AUG. 2, 1 834.
Sunday, July 13. — Very like a Sunday at home,
no mails, no penny-post, so that we could not com-
municate with any one. Did not go to church, but
spent the morning writing to you. At noon Mrs.
E.'s mother and sisters from the country called on
us. I was delighted with them. They invited us
to go to their country-house next Sunday, which I
hope we shall be able to do, they appear to be just
the kind of people I like. After dinner Mr. Ibar,
our old friend from China, and Mr. Iglesia called
to see us. I was most happy to see the former,
I assure you. He told us much news, of marrying
and giving in marriage. My friend W. is married,
and gone back to China. We spent the evening
very pleasantly with our friends.
July 14. — This morning took a /'fly," and
started for the city, the busy, bustling city, the
noise of which almost stunned me, and the many
fine things nearly dazzled me. We passed the great
St. Paul's, and Heaven knows what else, carriages
innumerable, and such quantities of those detest-
able "omnibuses " ; I can't abide them. We drove
first to the "Adelphi," and engaged lodgings at
Wright's Hotel, No. 2, Adams Street, where my
dear uncle wished us to go, and where he put up
297
before. It is a nice house, with a respectable land-
lady. Having engaged to come to-morrow, we then
drove to the Pantheon, a new bazaar just opened.
To attempt to give you an idea of it would be great
presumption, there was a little of everything under
heaven in the building. On our way home we
passed the celebrated "Newgate," a dismal-looking
place enough, one would think it would be a warn-
ing to all evil-disposed persons. At dinner had a
note from Mr. Bates, and had the pleasure of hear-
ing that all our letters had been sent to the Cape !
So it goes, you see, — I could have cried, but
thought it best to laugh !
July 15. — Went to the West India docks with
Captain E. this morning, and after tifiHn to our
new lodgings, where we arrived about two, arranged
our affairs, and then did not know what to do with
ourselves. Not a book had I, the tables, chairs,
etc., could afford no amusement, and I was tired of
seeking a familiar face among the myriads that were
momentarily passing. In short, we felt as desolate
as possible, and at last determined to sally forth.
We sauntered through the Strand, passed Charing
Cross, and found our way to St. James's Park. We
should have enjoyed this much, but we took Ayok
with us, which made us so conspicuous that we were
glad to return. The Park is a most delightful
place, and again I sigh for the painter's or poet's
art to bring to you some of these fine things
wherein art and nature are so beautifully combined.
The weather, too, is perfect, and it is not dark till
298
after nine. We returned home to dine, and soon
after sallied forth to a book-seller's, for we had noth-
ing at all to read, and, having walked as far as
Waterloo Bridge, returned to those dear companions
(our books), which cheer us in every situation, and
are, indeed, the only antidote to the blues. A
gentleman from Boston was announced soon after
our return, and who should it be but Mr. O., the
gentleman who fell in love with Jane S. in the
coach, and followed her to Salem. How singular
that we should meet again here ! He advises us to
go to Liverpool to embark.
July 16. — Did some shopping this morning, and
then walked to Somerset House, where we saw a
vast collection of paintings, and were very much
delighted. The house is immense. There was one
room filled with statuary, that looked very old and
extremely dirty. I could not prevent a blush when
I entered the room, for it seemed indelicate, and
hardly fit for a lady. However, I thought it would
hardly do to be so unfashionably delicate, so I
walked through with apparently great nonchalance,
but I was very glad to make my exit. I am a nov-
ice at these things as yet ; indeed, I would not be
quite dead to such feelings, but I saw some ladies
sitting down and enjoying it. I must confess I
directed my attention to the models of buildings,
with a sly look at the figures, but even this was
nothing to some of the public exhibitions. [Such
being the proper state of mind of an "elegant fe-
male ' ' in those days, it is not so surprising that
299
Mrs. Trollope, visiting the Pennsylvania Academy
of Fine Arts a very few years earlier, found a screen
placed inside the door of the "Antique Statue Gal-
lery," (to prevent any incautious glance being
shocked by the specimens of sculpture within), and
an old woman posted at the door, who told her to
make haste and go in while nobody was looking, as
most of the ladies liked to go into that room when
no gentlemen were watching them. — Ed]
July ly. — A very hot day, but Captain and Mrs.
E. called, and wished us to go to the Zoological
Gardens. It was so hot there that we could not
really enjoy it, but we went from there to the Coli-
seum, passing through a gallery lighted with lamps
as we entered, that was so delightfully cool that for
the moment I felt I could pass my life there. We
entered a statue gallery next, with a mellow light
thrown in we knew not how, but through tapestry
which covered the semicircular apartment in a most
fanciful and elegant manner. All around in arches
were little marble tables and delightful crimson-
covered spring-seats, where we immediately seated
ourselves, and partook of ices and cakes, and felt
much refreshed. Then we examined the statues and
busts. Some of them were beautiful, and there
were very few that the most modest would blush at.
We then went into a little octagonal room about ten
feet in diameter, and were wound up to the top of
the building,* where we saw a panorama of London
that was quite perfect. It looked so like nature
• This must have been about the first of all " lifts." — Ed.
300
that I thought I might be deceived with regard to
my standing-ground. Ayok was quite "stabber-
gasted, " to use a vulgar but most expressive word.
After this, we went through the conservatory, filled
with plants of all countries, beautiful grottoes, jets
cPeau, etc., indeed, it was so enchanting that we
said, What cannot man's devices accomplish .■' Many
more things we saw, and drove home at last quite
tired enough. All the gaiety and fashion of Lon-
don were out as we drove through Regent Street, a
most magnificent street.
July 19. — A rainy day. About two we started in
a one-horse "fly " for Mr. Dariiell's studio in Bed-
ford Square, where we saw the pictures of Mr. and
Mrs. College, and were very much pleased, it
seemed like bringing them before us. Ayok burst
into quite an hysterical laugh when he saw his
father's face in Mr. College's picture. The pict-
ures were unfortunately all too late for the Exhibi-
tion. Chinnery's paintings are much liked here.
Poor Ayok excites so much attention that I believe
he will be very willing to doff his Chinese costume.
Being rainy to-day, he had on his great umbrella
hat, and cut a curious figure, to be sure, to those who
are not in the habit of seeing them. We dined with
the Embletons, and about six took a carriage and
went to "Woodhouse, " Eastham, Essex, the house
of Mrs. E. 's mother, where we were invited to stay
as long as we could. After an hour's drive, we
arrived at one of the sweetest little places, with a
fine large house, handsomely furnished, and quite
30I
enveloped in trees and shrubbery, with delightful
smooth lawns, but it rained so hard we could not
enjoy them much. However, there were attractions
inside which prevented our sighing for those with-
out. Mrs. M., a very fine-looking and extremely
kind personage, welcomed us as though we were old
friends, making us quite at home at once. There
were two unmarried daughters, both very pleasing,
and four sons, all at home to spend Sunday, so that
with Mr. and Mrs. E. and ourselves we had quite
a table full. There was the respectable-looking
footman, with his breeches so tight and so white,
who seems to be a necessary appendage to such a
place, and every comfort and many luxuries in the
house. We took tea, and then adjourned to the
drawing-room, and the young ladies played and sang
most of the evening, and showed us their paintings.
Miss Sylvia, the eldest, had made a chess-board,
inlaid the black squares and painted flowers from
nature upon them, and transferred a little picture
to each of the white squares. There was a splendid
wreath of flowers round the edge, and altogether it
would have done any one credit. At ten we had a
little supper, and then prayers, and retired for the
night.
July 20, Sunday. — Still rainy ; however we drove
and the gentlemen walked to the little village
church, built in the year iioo. It has lately been
repaired, and looked in good order, though very
ancient, as you may judge by the date. There were
several ancient monuments of noble families, and
302
some rude statuary. We had a very good sermon
from the vicar of the parish, and came home quite
pleased. It cleared up at noon, and we took a walk
round the grounds, had a pull in a little boat on the
fishpond, got some fine fruit in the gardens, and
seated ourselves in the summer-house and had an
interesting chat with the young ladies. Had some
sacred music after dinner, and passed the evening
very pleasantly.
July 22. — This morning we had all our baggage
examined, and at twelve took a carriage and drove to
St. Katherine's Docks to look at the "Montreal, "
and were very much pleased with her accommoda-
tions. Finding it will be an immense deal of
trouble and expense to transport ourselves and lug-
gage to Liverpool, we at last decided to take a
cabin on this ship, for the first of August. Once
decided, we felt relieved of a heavy load, for we had
had great anxiety about it. The ship has splendid
accommodations, and having no cockroaches we
shall feel quite happy. From the Docks we drove
to St. Paul's. We spent a long time there looking
at the monuments, and went as far as the whisper-
ing gallery. Everything looked smutty, dirty, and
ancient. They are just now erecting a monument
to Bishop Heber. We then went to the Soho Ba-
zaar to make some purchases, and, on returning to
our lodgings, found a number of cards that had been
left for us. Heard to-night that Mrs. College has
a son, but is not very well.
July 24. — Went to the House of Lords and West-
303
minster Abbey. Let me refer you to Irving's
"Sketch Book," and his reflections in this place;
be assured, my dear sister, it is impossible to enter
it without moralizing on the mutability of all things,
it would take volumes to tell you the thoughts that
rush upon one in such an ancient and venerable
building. In one little chapel there are wax figures
of Elizabeth, William and Mary, Queen Anne and
many others, all robed in the fashion of their day.
They were all quite dusty and defaced by time.
Queen Elizabeth struck my eye the moment I got
up the narrow staircase, an ugly-looking, rattish
sort of face, but very like her pictures, and seeming
to express her character perfectly. Some one had
seen fit to clean her face, leaving a circle of dust
on the forehead and round the features, which cer-
tainly does not add to her beauty. Next to her
stands Nelson, most lifelike I should think, judging
from his pictures. Over him were the words he
used when he went to battle, "Victory or Westmin-
ster Abbey. ' ' He had both.
We wandered about a long time, and then drove
to Hyde Park. The first thing that meets your eye
on entering is an immense statue of the Duke of
Wellington in bronze,* quite naked, erected by the
ladies. If it had been an equestrian statue, I think
it would have been more to the purpose, and have
done greater credit to the delicacy and good taste of
said females. This is a most lovely Park, where
one can see all the gaiety and fashion walking,
* The statue of Achilles, erected in compliment to the Duke. — Ed.
304
driving, sauntering, flirting, reading, musing, etc.
We passed Kensington Gardens, where we could see
the different groups among the trees, and the chil-
dren sailing their boats upon the Serpentine.
July 2'j. — Went to church this morning with
Mrs. Embleton. They have a fine organ, and I find
it is the custom for the charity children of the par-
ish to sing and make the responses, but they make
too much noise, and, until you become accustomed
to it, it disturbs you very much. It was a very
pretty sight to see them all dressed alike, and
ranged round the galleries; the little girls with
black or blue dresses, and white bonnets and mits,
looked as neat as possible; the boys in brown linen
frocks, looked neat and behaved well. There were
about six hundred in all. When we went in, there
were about six couples at the altar being married. I
thought from that and the number of publishments
that there is not much regard paid to either Mal-
thus's or Chalmers's "Political Economy." We
heard a very good sermon from the vicar of the
parish, a venerable old gentleman of eighty. In
the evening I attended the Limehouse Church, and
heard a most solemn and eloquent sermon, and sing-
ing by the children again. Their dress was a little
different, as they wore neat white caps instead of
bonnets. Behind the altars of both these churches
were handsome painted windows, with a figure of
our Saviour pointing to heaven ; very well done, but
savoring very much of Popery. (!) The evening
hymn closed the service, which was very solemn and
gratifying.
305
July 29. — At home all day, "tooing" about and
preparing for our departure ; one more voyage, and
we are done for the present I hope, for it requires
all one's energy to be moving about in this way.
N. B. — Never travel for pleasure without a gentle-
man at your command, for there is no pleas-
ure in it. In our case, it is our misfortune, and
sad it is, — however, I do not complain, we have too
much to be thankful for.
31JA — This morning took a carriage to pay our
parting calls. Went first to the Jerusalem Coffee-
house, and delivered some letters to the far-famed
Mr. Hardy's care, then to the watchmaker's. Were
much surprised to find our coachman could not read
even a sign. Who would have thought we should
have found such an instance in London ? I was quite
astonished ! Made our calls, and then went to the
Pantechnicon, a magnificent bazaar. Then we paid
another visit to Westminster Abbey, where we left
the guide and walked round by ourselves, and saw
much more than before.
August I. — Got up early, and packed up our duds
to send on board with Ay ok ; they started at ten,
and to-morrow we are to go to Portsmouth, to join
the ship there, and that is all for the present, my
dear. I think I shall not edify you with any more
of my long stories, my next will be viva voce, I
hope. Adieu.
In reading "Outre-mer," I found the following
observations, so applicable to my own feelings that
I could not resist copying them : —
3o6
"These, fair dames and courteous gentlemen, are
some of the scenes and musings of my pilgrimage,
when I journeyed away from my kith and kin, into
the land of 'Outre-mer. ' And yet amid these
scenes and musings, amid all the novelties of the
Old World, and the quick succession of images that
were continually calling my thoughts away, there
were always fond regrets and longings after the land
of my birth, lurking in the secret corners of my
heart. . . . Truly, the love of home is interwoven
with all that is pure and deep and lasting in earthly
affection. Let us wander where we may, the heart
looks back with longing to the paternal roof. . . .
And now farewell. The storm is over, and through
the parting clouds the radiant sunshine breaks upon
my path. ' '
THE VOYAGE HOME.
AUG. 2-SEPT. 21, 1 834.
[A supplementary diary, written in pencil, relates
the journey from London to Portsmouth, and the
voyage to New York; and, as the conditions of travel
were so different then, a few extracts may be found
interesting. The diary was not kept regularly,
owing to the hardships and the monotony of the
voyage. — Ed. ]
Aug. 2, 1834. — Left London for Portsmouth in
a very nice coach, holding four persons inside, and
loaded outside with all sorts of etceteras. We had
two very pleasant ladies with us, who were on their
way to the Isle of Wight to rusticate for a time
during the hot weather. The steamboats are con-
stantly plying between there and Portsmouth, and
are generally full. We travelled through the most
delightful country imaginable, and passed through
the town of Guildford, the only large town on our
way. The scenery beyond Guildford was very beau-
tiful ; there was everything to make a perfect land-
scape, a romantic old ruin, a castle in the distance,
a highly cultivated country everywhere, and in
short I was delighted, and wanted to bring it all to
America. I am charmed with England, but do not
be jealous, I am ready to leave it, for the heart is
constant still. We left our lodgings at nine in the
3o8
morning, and arrived at the Fountain Hotel, Ports-
mouth, about six in the evening, without having left
■the coach. We changed horses seven or eight times
with the greatest despatch, and were never detained
many minutes for the noble horses were all har-
nessed and waiting for us; splendid animals, I think
we do not have such in America. It was very hot
and dusty, and our wheels were troublesome; on
account of the friction we are obliged to quench
one. The roads were very fine, and I do not wonder
that Englishmen complain of ours when they make
comparisons.
When we got to the hotel, and found ourselves
all alone, we began to be very miserable, feeling
tired and solitary and beginning to wonder what we
came for. However, we had some tea, and went to
bed, and rose refreshed the next morning.
August 3rd was Sunday, and we .passed the day
quietly and rather satisfactorily, the first quiet Sab-
bath for many months, but an inn is a disagreeable
place at any time.
August 4. — At home all the morning, reading.
I was finishing the Life of Legh Richmond, a good
and valuable man, pity there were not more such !
After dinner we sallied forth and surveyed the place,
it is strongly fortified, I should say. It is sur-
rounded by embankments or bastions (or both, for I
am quite out in these descriptions), with a moat
below, running all round the city.* A gravelled
walk, shaded by trees on the embankment, is very
*The moats and embankments were destroyed as unwholesome a few years ago. —
Ed.
309
pleasant, and on the side next the sea makes a cool
and delightful evening walk. The beautiful Isle of
Wight is in full view, and pleasure yachts and other
vessels in abundance. There is nothing particu-
larly novel or lion-like in this place except the
docks and a block manufactory, which is very famous ;
but, as we had no one to wait upon us, of course we
did not see them. We were quite satisfied with
Portsmouth by the time we got back, and sorry not
to see our ship in sight, but head winds prevail.
August 5. — Got up very leisurely this morning,
but before long heard the summons, our captain was
below, and said we must be ready to go on board at
ten. Ate our breakfast, and met him at the cutter,
with many of our fellow-passengers. Were soon on
board the ship, and had all the confusion attendant
on such occasions. However, we have become so
accustomed to this that we take it very coolly, and
quite astonish the inexperienced ones. We got all
our things to rights, and I fully expected the usual
feelings, but, wonderful to relate, I felt quite well,
went on deck, read papers, walked, and felt as
though I were on land. We have fifteen ladies on
board, and shall have confusion worse confounded no
doubt, but everything seems nice and comfortable,
and there are no cockroaches.
August 6. — Head wind this morning and a rough
sea, but I keep well, though all around me are ill;
indeed, I never was in such a scene before, but I
shall not be very particular in describing it, though
it would be most amusing. Some are very, very ill,
3IO
and suffer much, others doubtful, and all envious of
me and two other young ladies who went on board
at London. The wind continued ahead, and a most
uncomfortable sea is pitching in from the westward,
which makes it exceedingly disagreeable. No pros-
pect of getting out of the Channel to-night. Our
cabin, and indeed the whole ship, is a perfect hos-
pital. The first thing we heard this morning was
that a man in the steerage had cut his throat and
thrown himself overboard in the night, judge of our
feelings if you can ! The weather is dark, rainy,
and dismal, and altogether we are surrounded by an
odd mixture of the comic and the tragic. Some of
the ladies are not charmed to-night with the sea !
We do not get on at all. In the evening a young
lady was taken very ill, fainted, and remained in-
sensible for a number of hours. We felt seriously
the need of a physician, and think it very wrong for
these ships to be without one. It was difficult,
even with the most powerful remedies, to keep Miss
M. alive; I was up with her all night. Fortu-
nately, Aunt and I are both well enough to attend
upon her, for she has no friend on board. We felt
miserable enough, I assure you, for it was an awful
responsibility. A blister relieved her, and the next
day we had a change of wind and weather for a
while, and our faces and hearts were brightened. I
never was in such a scene before, and hope in, mercy
we shall have a short passaga
August 9. — Tolerably pleasant day, and the inva-
lids begin to turn out, an odd mixture enough; it
311
might with propriety be called a menagerie. To
see the people perched about in their respective
berths reminded me of the Zoological Gardens. I
have certainly not laughed so much for the last year
as since we have been on board. I shall tell you
many anecodotes if we ever meet, but at present I
see no prospect of it.
August II. — A little breeze this morning, which
I believe took us a few miles beyond Scilly. By
night it strengthened to a small gale, so that we
could carry but very little sail, and a monstrous and
frightful sea was pitching us about tremendously.
Although it was very awful, yet we could not help
laughing, and I defy any one to help it, at the
scenes we had to-night. Many of the party wisely
kept their berths.
August 12. — Wind increased, but I went on deck,
and even walked. The sport commenced about tea-
time. It was almost impossible to keep our seats,
the lurches of the ship were dreadful ; one overthrew
all the crockery; over went pitchers, plates, cups
and saucers, and it was with great difificulty that we
saved ourselves. The Rev. Mr. S., who was sit-
ting on the lee side, was deluged with milk; he
looked so perfectly ridiculous with the milk drip-
ping from eyes, nose, and mouth, and his coat and
all completely covered with it, that, though we
trembled at our danger, we could not resist laugh-
ing. Another lurch, and over went another pitcher
of milk upon a lady who was lying on the floor
faint ; it restored her, however, so it was no matter.
312
Altogether it was such a mixed scene that we knew
not whether to laugh or cry, but the night was
dreadful, some of us dared not undress. Miss M.
and I clamped each other in one corner of the cabin,
and there were various groups in different places,
but very little sleep.
August 14. — Calm again, but the motion not
much better. We have been all this time (nine
days) doing four days' work. We are now only
I4J4° west. Horrible! Was amused to-night by
one of our passengers telling me that neither he
nor his wife had ever seen the sea before, and could
not imagine that they should not see fields and trees
on our way ! They are missionaries.
August 28. — Since my last date we have had very
little besides head winds and calms, principally
calms. Have now been out twenty-three days, and
we have had only thirty hours of fair wind in the
whole time. We are quite discouraged, and what
with the combination of disagreeables, and the anxi-
ety about getting home or not getting home, I am
quite unfitted for anything. I certainly never read
so little on board ship before. The weather is very
pleasant, but we are not yet half-way, and, although
we have been going at the rate of eight and ten
knots for the last three days, we have not made more
than one degree (about sixty -nine miles).
August},!, Sunday. — Had a very excellent ser-
mon from Mr. B. in the cabin to-day. We have
had a delightful ten-knot fair wind since noon,
which has cheered us all, and we begin to make
313
calculations about going on shore. But I am too
used to this fickle element to be very sanguine. We
were all very much frightened to-night at tea-time
by an alarm of fire, one of the worst of dangers
aboard ship, but it was a trifle, and soon over.
September i. — Our fair wind lasted till this
morning, when we had a most magnificent squall.
We were all in the round-house, admiring the scene.
The glass fell very much in the course of the day,
and after dinner we had another squall, which
ended in a severe gale. I never experienced any-
thing like it before; every bit of sail was taken in
but the foresail, and the noise of the whistling wind
was tremendous. We were all alarmed in the night,
we shipped such seas, and many of us did not vent-
ure to go to bed. The gale broke about midnight,
but the sea was worse afterwards, and the next morn-
ing, September 2, we were worser, and felt as
though we had been beaten. The adventures of the
night were marvellous and amusing, and I, for one,
felt very grateful that we had been preserved.
September 7. — Another week gone, and we have
not made much more in the whole of it than we did
last Sunday. We get on only about half a degree
a day. We are now on the Banks of Newfoundland,
and had a specimen to-night of the fogs which are
so celebrated in that region, together with a calm,
which does not conduce at all to our mirth. It
seems as though we never should reach the desired
haven, hope deferred truly makes the heart sick.
We have such a strange medley of passengers on
314
board that we shall not have much regret in parting.
I never heard the king's English so maltreated
before. The H is totally dismissed where it is
generally required, and called into office where it is
not necessary. They talk of "'orrible 'ot, " lead-
ing ladies to the "h'altar, " and "h'anchoring. "
One says when he gets to New York he'll have "a
pat of parter" (pot of porter, — this is Hampshire
dialect.)
September 8. — Morning calm, fair wind about
ten, which increased before noon to a violent gale.
We went on deck about half-past ten to look at our
ship flying through a smooth sea at the rate of four-
teen knots. The sight was grand, but a cloud in
the north-west, from which proceeded vivid light-
ning, added much to the brilliancy of the scene, but
predicted a head wind. We had one of the most
awful nights I ever experienced, and were up till
nearly five, the wind blowing tremendously and a
frightful sea. We felt our dependence on an Al-
mighty power at such a time, and have great reason
to be thankful that we were preserved. The cap-
tain says we were in great danger, as the wind
nearly amounted to a hurricane.
September lO. — Still very uncomfortable, and
pitching in an awful manner, and, what is worse,
the wind is again ahead. We do have bad luck.
We have made only one good day's work in the last
week, every inch of water is fought for. We had a
little push across the Banks yesterday, but are now
drifting back again, I believe. My patience is al-
315
most exhausted, — and wardrobe, too ; as is the case
generally, I am afraid.
September ii. — Head wind. We are now in
longitude 57°, only three days' run from home with
a good wind, but, alas ! alas ! the fates are against us !
Oh, dear! Finished a little piece of work yester-
day, and therefore indulged myself to-day, by lying
in my berth and reading.
Calms and head winds till the morning of the
1 8th, when we were rejoiced to feel a fair breeze,
but we rejoiced with trembling, for they are
always fleeting. We feel anxious enough to get in,
for nearly all our passengers are at swords' points.
I do not think there was ever such a melange of
people before. Being charmed witb our fair wind
this morning, September 18, we were all on deck,
and by way of variety went to visit the steerage,
and inquire for their health and condition. Poor
creatures ! we complain, but we ought not, when we
consider how comfortable we are in comparison.
There are a hundred and twenty people there,
huddled together, getting short of provisions, and
quite comfortless.
September 19. — Fair wind, which continued all
day and night, but we hardly dare mention it,
though we all have our private opinions, as well as
public, and I for one was anticipating the pleasure
of crossing Brooklyn Ferry to-morrow night at six
o'clock, which we might easily have done had the
wind lasted, but, alas ! we appear to be doomed to be
tried to the extreme, and the wind gradually died
away, leaving us becalmed.
3i6
September 20. — Oh, dear! I am almost sick with
anxiety and hope deferred. The time since we
heard from you seems so dreadfully long that the
dread of what I may hear takes away the pleasure
of arriving, and, though I am wishing the voyage
over, yet I tremble too, when I hear we are going
on well. It is a strange feeling, and one not easily
described. Went on deck after dinner, and found
we were becalmed in a thick fog. Pleasant pros-
pect ! All our speculations as to arriving to-morrow
at an end. So, you see, our hopes vary with the
wind, and to prove it, before we left the deck the
wind increased, and we fully expected to be in sight
of land by daylight. We went to tea, the haze had
vanished, the moon was just rising clear and beauti-
ful from her watery bed, and my poor little heart
was going pit-a-pat at the idea of once more meet-
ing my dear mother, father, and all hands. About
lo P.M., as I was playing chess, the report' from
deck was that we were just ninety miles from Sandy
Hook, and the wind was dying away. The next
sound, when we were retiring to our cabins, was
"Haul in the studding-sails, and brace the yards."
That was the end of the ups and downs of this day.
Say you, my dear, that there is no variety in the
life of a sailor.? I sat up till after twelve, but no
change came for the better. The night was perfect,
save and except that we were two points off our
course.
2\st. — I think you will begin to look anxiously
for us now, for we are a week or two over our time.
317
The first questions this morning were, "Any land
in sight? and how's the wind?" The responses
were anything but agreeable, — no land, wind ahead,
and the ship but just moving, can't possibly get in
to-day. Got up, and breakfasted in the ladies'
cabin, and then stoned some raisins for a plum-pud-
ding, with some of the other ladies. Next time, I
hope it will be for Thanksgiving at home. It re-
minded me of old times. A most lovely morning
it would have been to have gone up the Bay, so
bright and clear ! The wind is light and ahead, I
have no work to do, I cannot read, and the day has
seemed as long as six when employed. I sit and
muse, and cannot fancy at all how I shall find you,
but I endeavor to keep myself quiet, trusting to that
Being who has been so merciful to us in all the
perils by which we have been surrounded, and not
doubting that whatever he sees fit to do will be for
our good, and feeling, too, that sufficient unto the
day is the evil thereof. I cannot explain how I
feel, it is a sort of all-overness, and yet it appears
to me that I am going to a strange place, as I have
been to so many before !
POSTSCRIPT.
Here the Journal abruptly ends. In all proba-
bility the " Montreal " arrived in New York not many
hours later. That Miss Low's apprehensions as to
the strangeness she was to encounter were not
wholly unrealized, we may judge from the fragment
of a letter written to her by an pld friend, in the
most gushing and sentimental style of the day. The
change from the comparatively brilliant society life
of Macao to the deadly dulness of Brooklyn in 1834
must have been overpowering, and even in the home
circle there were changes. The elder sister, for whom
the journals were written, was married, the oldest
brother was in China, and the next sister (born after
a succession of seven boys) was then a child, about
nine. Old friends had been left behind in Salem,
everything was to be begun again, including the
finding of a place in the family circle, so long left
vacant, and probably now filled up, as all such gaps
are filled in time. There must have been some com-
plaint of loneliness and lack of sympathy to have
drawn forth the epistle just mentioned, which sounds
as if it might have been written by Amanda Malvina
FitzAUan ; but it is unsigned, being but a fragment.
"Would that I could open the windows of my
soul, dearest H. ' ' (the letter begins, it was the
319
fashion then to use initials even in speaking to
people), "and enable you to see how fully, how en-
tirely, the spirit understands and sympathizes in all
the emotions which dictated your two last precious
letters! the sense of loneliness, the incipient dis-
content of unappropriated affections, longing to rest
on some kindred bosom ! But, my dear, you would
be more than human, could you utterly annihilate
such seasons of weakness. If after bright years of
youth passed in the hot-bed of adulation, — after
living almost exclusively in the softened and tender
atmosphere of flattery, admiration, and affluence,
where so many studied your happiness, and so many
sought but to share it and be blest, — could you re-
turn to the still, monotonous course of duty which
you now pursue, with only the quiet though ines-
timable domestic affections living in your bosom,
— without experiencing moments like those you
have so touchingly described, — of sickening, heart-
less, uncheered existence? Condemn not too se-
verely the momentary intrusion of such natural emo-
tions, my dear girl, but be comforted, sweetest;
moments there are in store, which, if not wholly
unspotted, are still bright and glowing, and vivid
enough to repay long years of negative existence,
here below; and there is, you know, a hope that
beyond this terrestrial scene all the most ardent
boundings of the heart, if pure, shall be satisfied, —
filled to overflowing! "
This "elegant epistle" was dated Sept. 15, 1835,
just a year after my mother's return to America,
320
and probably just before her engagement to my
father, a younger brother of Hon. George S. Hil-
lard, of Boston, and a man of cultivated tastes and
charming manners. They were married on the 3d
of November, 1836; and their wedding-cards, which
still survive, are quaint and curious. There are
two cards, both small and very highly glazed. The
smaller of the two bears my father's name in his
own handsome handwriting, the larger simply says :
"Miss Low, At Home, Thursday evening, Novem-
ber 3, at 9 o'clock," with residence, but says
nothing about marriage ! The two cards are put up
in a small envelope, fastened with a transparent
wafer, and that is enclosed in a piece of white paper
folded in an oblong shape, and tied up with a piece
of narrow white satin ribbon.
Directly after the marriage they went to England
to live, where eight children were born to them, of
whom three survive. Frequent visits were made to
the United States; and, while residing there in
1859, my father died, and my mother preferred to
spend the rest of her life among her own people.
She passed away in 1 877, leaving the fragrance of a
most beautiful memory in the hearts of all who
knew her.
K. H.
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